LOVE OP
by nevertrustamime
Summary: Santana Lopez just got back from a 15-year deployment from Afghanistan to become the Head of Trauma in her parents, hospital. She's ready to go back to a normal life where she doesn't have to keep a gun at her side all the time. That is until she attends her welcoming back party and meets the new badass genius neurosurgeon that makes her reevaluate the things she actually wants.
1. Chapter 1

_My ears were ringing from the gunfire that was happening, what seemed to be, a few feet from the Medical barracks._

 _"_ _Fucking Afghanistan," I mumbled as more bodies of injured soldiers were being carried in._

 _"_ _GSW to the left and right deltoids and to the chest. Nothing major has nightstand but he's losing a lot of blood!" My lifelong friend, Kurt Hummel, shouted as he took off the soldier's top body gear and threw it over to a corner._

 _"_ _What's your name Soldier?" I yelled at the GSW victim._

 _"_ _Puckerman, Noah Puckerman," He said in pain._

 _"_ _Well Noah, I'm Santana Lopez and I'm taking this bullet out of your chest today," I shouted. Kurt put the anesthesia mask over his face, so we could start. He grabbed the mask and pulled it down a little and took his bloody hand and grabbed mine._

 _"_ _Where's my brother Jake?" He asked. I was dumbfounded._

 _"_ _I-I don't know," I looked around and saw more bodies being brought in, "I don't know but I do know is that you are losing too much blood and we need to get those bullets out," I said putting the mask back up. I put thumbs up telling Kurt to up the anesthesia. In thirty seconds Noah's breathing stabilized and I rushed to take the bullets out. I started on the left deltoid._

 _"_ _Scalpel," I rushed to make an elliptical incision around the gunshot wound. The gunshot sounds sounded like they were getting closer._

 _"_ _Santana we need to get those bullets out fast," Kurt yelled._

 _"_ _Fuck I know," I said, "We need to start a blood bag. Marley! Blood fast. Kurt, I need suction, there's too much blood to see where the bullet is lodged."_

 _"_ _The wound to his chest seems to be sucking in air," Kurt said, "His lung is going to collapse anytime soon!"_

 _"_ _Well do something about it, Kurt! You're a surgeon too. Fuck this bullet is implanted if I try to remove it, it's going to jack up his whole arm," I said. Kurt started to work on the chest GSW._

 _"_ _Lopez, I'm not so sure what I'm doing here!" Someone yelled. I turned around and saw another one of my doctors trying to stitch up a leg that was mangled._

 _"_ _Evans, you can't salvage that leg," I yelled, "Tina take care of the GSW to the right and left deltoids. The left one is implanted, clean the wound as good as you can," I instructed as my surgical assistant took my blood-drenched gloves off and replaced them with clean ones._

 _"_ _Thanks, Emma," I said walking over to Dan._

 _"_ _Fuck, Dan. We're going to have to amputate. Get Marley and tell her to do a clean cut three inches above the knee," I said. I closed my eyes for three seconds and opened them. Everything was quiet and it seemed like everything was moving in slow motion. I walked back over to Noah and checked on him. He was losing more blood than he was before._

 _"_ _Fucking shit, Santana, I don't know what happened. I tried to extract the bullet from the right deltoids but I don't know what happened. He is losing so much blood," Marley said crying._

 _"_ _Fucking shit. You're useless! Get out of my sight," I said pushing her away from Noah, "I need more gauze. Fucking shit." Someone handed me some gauze and tried to stop the bleeding but it wasn't working._

 _"_ _Need some suction over here!" I yelled._

 _"_ _Santana, the bullet in his chest is fragmented," Kurt said sadly._

 _"_ _We can't just let him fucking die, Hummel," I yelled snatching the suction tube from a nurse's hand. I grabbed more gauze and tried to stop the bleeding. Kurt had stopped working on his chest._

 _"_ _What the fuck are you doing Kurt? Keep fucking working. His lunge is going to collapse if you stop," I said frantically trying to stop the bleeding in his arms and his chest, now. Kurt tried to pull me away from his body._

 _"_ _Santana," He said. I pushed him away and continued to work on Noah._

 _"_ _Santana, He's gone," Kurt said, "The fragmented bullet made a small hole in his heart, small enough for his heart to fill with blood."_

 _"_ _No, we can still fucking save him," I said going back over to his body to check his pulse. I grabbed his wrist and checked for a pulse. No pulse._

 _"_ _Santana, I need some help over here!" Marley yelled. I dropped Noah's wrist and rushed over to Kitty. I feel Kurt's eyes following me._

 _"_ _Bag him," Kurt said. Tears welled in my eyes. I wiped them away. I need to be strong._

 _"_ _What do you need?" I said with a strong voice. Marley was talking but everything sounded like I was underwater. The floor started to shake._

 _"_ _Did you feel that?" I asked Marley. She looked at me with a strange look._

 _"_ _Wha-Look Santana, his BP is 180/100, I don't know what to do," She said pleadingly. The floor shook again. What the fuck is going on?_

 _"_ _Did you feel that this time?" I asked her._

 _"_ _Dr. Lopez, I don't have time for your shit. I'm dealing with this patient with extreme hypertension that just got his leg amputated," She screamed. My name was being called from every which way. The floor shook again. I felt like people were screaming my name in my ear. They brought in more bodies. This one soldier was going crazy still had his army-issued handgun in his hand._

 _"_ _Someone please take that gun away from him," I yelled. The soldier continued to thrash around and he starts pulling the trigger. I ducked behind a table but I felt a searing pain in my right leg. I've been shot. I was already losing a lot of blood. I started to get light headed. I closed my eyes for three seconds and then opened them. I was in a pool that gunfire with blood and the closer I got to the edge of the pool, the farther it seemed. Bodies of deceased soldiers floated to the surface of the bloody pool. I pushed the bodies aside and kept swimming. Suddenly, Noah Puckerman's body flew to the surface and grabbed onto me._

 _"_ _Where's my brother? Where's my brother, Doc?" He repeated over and over. I grabbed his hand, threw him onto my back and continued to swim for the edge of the pool._

 _"_ _I don't know but I'm going to save you," I said. My body was drenched in blood. The weight on my back started to get lighter._

 _"_ _I need to find my brother, Doctor. I need to find him." He said. I stopped swimming and turned around to see Noah sinking back into the blood._

 _"_ _Fuck," I said splashing through the bloody water looking for Noah, to pull him back to the surface. My hand caught onto something and I instantly pulled up. It was Kurt's bloodied body._

 _"_ _His heart filled with blood Santana, there was nothing I could do," He said. I heard my name being called. I looked over to the edge of the pool and see Noah Puckerman standing there in his Class B Uniform waving at me. I turn to Kurt._

 _"_ _See we saved him. We are surgeons, we save people and we saved a soldier. That counts for something," I said. I felt sharp pains on my shoulders and my chest._

 _"_ _Santana, he's dead. We couldn't save anyone. The injuries they endured were too extreme. The soldier's bodies that were hit with an IED came in and they were body parts everywhere," he said. Hands came rushing up from the blood pool and grabbed onto me. I thrashed around and screamed at the top of my lungs. The hands started to pull me under. Everything turned black._

I jumped out of my seat and looked around bewildered. Other Army Personnel were staring at me.

"Santana, you okay?" Kurt asked. I looked over at Kurt, who was staring at me.

"Um, yeah, just a bad dream," I said clearing my throat awkwardly. I sat back down and took deep breaths.

"Never thought we'll be going back to Lima, so soon," Kurt said looking back at his magazine.

"Yeah. I'm going back as the Head of Trauma Surgery and you as a Resident," I said sighing. Kurt chuckled.

"Are you more nervous about being the Head of Trauma or being the Head of Trauma at a hospital your parents own?" Kurt said. I sighed.

"Possibly the second one," I said playing with my ACU jacket, "My parents were both bad ass Neurosurgeons and now they own some of the best Hospitals in the USA and I just feel like people are going to expect me to be a badass Trauma surgeon." Kurt put his magazine down.

"Santana, we're coming back from Afghanistan. Where we were fucking bad-ass Trauma Surgeons. We lost some lives but we saved some lives too. We're bad-ass Trauma surgeons that kicked ass in Afghanistan. No one can tell us differently," Kurt said with a smug smile, "And we got scars to prove it." I smiled a little.

"You're right," I said chuckling.

"Like always," Kurt said. Sergeant Tanaka walked over to us.

"We're gonna land in Columbus soon. You guys got a ride to Lima?" He asked.

"My dad has a car waiting," I told him. It's been 9 years since I've been in Lima. Wonder if anything has changed? Tanaka went back to talk to other soldiers.

"I heard they have a new restaurant chain in Lima called Breadstix," Kurt said, "Maybe you can treat me to dinner tonight." I chuckled.

"I doubt it. My mom planned this big dinner so we can get acquainted with the other surgeons from the hospital," I said.

"Your mother was always the one to throw big get together for everything. I remember the party she threw for us right before we were deployed," Kurt said, "I had the best sex that night with that guy with the bushy eyebrows." I made fake gagging sounds. Kurt was so excited when the 'Don't ask, Don't tell' policy was repealed. So was I because I could stop hiding who I am to my co-workers. "Have you spoken to Quinn lately?' He asked.

"The last time I talked to Quinn she was in Harvard Med becoming a Pediatric Surgeon," I said. That was 8 years ago.

"That long? Damn, you guys were inseparable," He said, "And the cutest couple." He whispered the last part. I rolled my eyes. Quinn didn't like that I was going into the Army to become a Trauma Surgeon. We argued a lot which ultimately led up to our break but we stayed friends for a year after I was deployed out.

"Do you think she works at William McKinley Memorial hospital?" Kurt asked. Out of nowhere, the plane landed, scaring me shitless. I gripped the armrest till my knuckles turned white.

"Are you sure you're ready to go back to work? I know they cleared you and everything but are you sure you're better?" Kurt questioned as we walked out of the terminal towards baggage claim. I have a slight limp when I walk from the gunshot wound I sustained.

"Kurt, I'm not suffering from PTSD. I'm cleared. I'm good," I said with a smile. We walked the rest of the way to the conveyor belts to get our luggage in silence. We walked outside and the crisp November air hit us. A limo pulled up beside us and the driver got out and walked over to us.

"Are you Dr. Santana Lopez?" The man in the chauffeur outfit asked.

"Yes," I answered. He squealed with excitement and opened the door for us. He grabbed our luggage and place it neatly in the trunk and ran back to the driver's seat.

"Did he actually squeal?" Kurt whispered to me. I held in my laugh and shook my head yes. I took off my ACU jacket and my hat and tried to get comfortable in my seat.

"I can't wait to go home and take a long hot shower," I said running a hand through my hair. I knocked on the partition.

"Hey driver guy," I said. He rolled the partition down.

"The name's Ryder Lynn, Santana," He said eagerly.

"Okay, don't call me Santana. When we're in Lima can we make a pit stop at Rhodes Smoke Shop?" I asked. He shook his head 'no'.

"Sorry, Dr. Lopez, your father told me specifically not to stop anywhere," He said. I was three seconds away from cussing his ass out when Kurt grabbed my shoulder.

"Look, Ryder, it's going to be a quick in and out stop. You don't even have to turn off the car," Kurt said.

"But, Mr. Lopez said..." I cut him off.

"If I don't get my cigars today from Rhodes, I will cut your balls off. She's holding 9 years worth of cigars for me. I either get them today or you will nut-less tomorrow," I threatened. I haven't had a good cigar in 9 years, I've been smoking cigarettes and I hate cigarettes with a passion.

"O-okay," He said. I sat back in my seat and relaxed.

"I guess you're over smoking cigarettes," Kurt said laughing. I laughed

* * *

 **A/N: Man, do people even read Glee fanfics anymore?**


	2. Chapter 2

The ride from the airport to Rhodes Smoke Shop was a quiet one.

"We're here, Doctor," He said. I gave him a wicked smile and stepped out of the car, grabbing my ACU jacket. I hurried up to the smoke shop.

"April, you here?" I called out. I hear some bells ringing. The blonde woman came running out of the back. She's wearing those bell earrings. She ran up to me and hugged me.

"Lieutenant Sergeant Commander Lopez," She said happily, "You're back in Lima." She hugged me again.

"You can still just call me Santana, April," I said laughing. She hugged me again.

"I guess you came by to get your cigars," She said, "I'm only gonna give you a box because I don't want to be the reason you get lung cancer, Missy." She walked to the back of the store. Better than another day of smoking cigarettes. She came back with a box gift-wrapped in Christmas paper. She handed to me and gave me another hug.

"Welcome home, Soldier," She said with a watery laugh, "Now leave before I start crying."

"Thanks, April," I said leaving. I jumped in the back of the limo and Ryder sped off. I opened one box and smelled the cigar. Cuban, my favorite.

"Um, San-Dr. Lopez, we're gonna be at your father's house in a few minutes," Ryder informed.

"Whatever," I said rolling my eyes. I pulled out my lighter and lit the cigar.

"You really want to show up at your father's house, smelling like cigar smoke?" Kurt asked. I shrugged my shoulders and rolled down the window and blew smoke out.

"They can kiss my ass," I said. The limo stopped and Ryder opened the door. Damn, I wasn't even able to finish my cigar. Kurt took it out my mouth and threw it on the ground.

"Put your jacket on. Look presentable," Kurt said. I did what he said. I put on my jacket and my hat on. My parents walked outside and my mom ran up to me and hugged me.

"Santanita, I'm so happy you're home," she said. She let me go and went to hug Kurt. My dad and I approached each other awkwardly.

"Hey," He said. He held his hand out and I shook it.

"Your handshakes have gotten firmer," He said. I nodded.

"Hello sir," Kurt said saluting my dad. My dad saluted him back. I stepped back.

"Are Santiago and Santos here?" I asked.

"No, your brothers are still on their New York adventure," My mom said. I hummed in response.

"Ryder, bring the bags in," I said walking inside. Once I walked through the doors people jumped out and screamed 'surprise'. I immediately went for my gun.

"Whoa! Whoa! Santana, calm down," Kurt said from behind me. He slowly grabbed my shoulder and discreetly took my gun out of my holster. Everyone looked at me bewildered.

"S-sorry," I said. Quinn emerged from the crowd of people. I looked at my father and saw him shaking his head. I ran a hand awkwardly through my hair. Kurt made a joke and everyone started to laugh. I rushed to my room.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" I said to myself. I threw my ACU jacket onto my bed and took a deep breath and walked back downstairs. Everyone was chatting and drinking wine. There's some of my parent's friends here, Quinn and her parents, and what I'm guessing some other surgeons and nurses here. Quinn looked stunning. She was wearing a simple yellow sundress. She gave me a timid wave. A waiter handed me a wine glass.

"Thanks," I said as I started to walk over to Quinn. My father stopped in front of me with two blonde-haired, blue-eyed gringos.

"Santana, this is Mr. and Mrs. Pierce, their daughter is the most magnificent neurosurgeon in Northern America," He boasted.

"And she's only 29 and has already completed her residency at another hospital before being hired as Head of Neurosurgery at your father's hospital," Her mother boasted, smiling. I looked over her shoulder to see Quinn smiling at me.

"That's amazing, I'm going to be the Head of Trauma Surgery," I said. They hummed in response. I guess they're not impressed.

"Well this has been an amazing conversation but it seems like Dr. Fabray is calling me over," I said walking straight over to Quinn. She grabbed my hand and pulled me to the back patio.

"Well hello Dr. Fabray," I said smiling.

"Dr. Lopez, how are you this fine evening?" She asked. She walked closer to me.

"Better," I said barely below a whisper. Quinn got even closer to me, leaving a gap between us. I smirked. I closed the gap between us. It was a quick kiss, no tongue. A little longer than a peck though. Damn, I've missed her. I was the first to pull away.

"Damn," Quinn husked out.

"I know," I said. I leaned into her, hugging her.

"Kurt told me not to do this," She said motioning between us. I pulled back and just stared at her.

"Not to kiss you because you're not ready."

"Ready for what?" I questioned. My confusion turned into realization. _Fucking Kurt_. I walked backward, away from her.

"I'm fine," I said through gritted teeth.

"Santana, he's just looking out for you," she said.

"By telling you not to be with me?" I said getting angry. She just sighed.

"He never said we couldn't be together. He just said we shouldn't be together so soon. Santana, calm down," Quinn said grabbing my hands. I pulled them back like if her hands were on fire.

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down," I shouted. Quinn looked back into the party.

"Baby, he's just worried," she said. The sliding door opened and I turned to see Kurt.

"San, are you okay?" He asked. I felt like I was drowning. I walked back into the party. I brushed past my dad, on my way to the stairs.

"Santana, where are you going?" He asked.

"For a walk," I replied briskly. I walked outside towards the garden in the backyard. This has always been my place to get away, especially at night. I sat on one of the garden chairs, pulled out a cigar and lit it. I took a long drag and blew it out. The wind blew the smoke away. The night was cold and the full moon was out, illuminating the whole garden. I took another puff from my cigar. I heard some rustling from behind me. I jumped up and walked towards the noise. The figure behind the bush moved towards me and I tackled the person to the ground.

"Stand down Soldier, it's just some weed," The blonde woman said, taking another hit from her blunt. What the hell? I jumped off of the mystery woman.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked. She got up and brushed some dirt off of her navy blue dress. She dropped the blunt to the ground and put it out with her heels.

"Brittany S. Pierce, not to be confused with Britney Spears," She said smiling, "Who are you?" I just stared at her. _Is this "the magnificent neurosurgeon" my dad was talking about?_

"You're a neurosurgeon?" I asked.

"Yeah but that doesn't quite answer my question," She said sitting on one of the garden chairs. I followed her and sat across from her.

"You're a neurosurgeon," I repeated.

"Yes, I am. I went to John Hopkins University and got a medical degree in neurosurgery thus making me a neurosurgeon. Now, are you going to answer my question?" She asked. I nodded but didn't say anything. She laughed. This is the magnificent mind my father hired at his hospital. A person who smokes weed at his welcoming parties?

"Santana!" I heard Kurt yell. I looked over and saw him jogging over to me and Brittany.

"Santana, Quinn and I were looking for you," Kurt said a little bit out of breath.

"Santana and I were just getting to know each other. Even though she hasn't told me anything," Brittany spoke. I cleared my throat.

"I came out here to get some fresh air," I said. Kurt looked at Brittany.

"Holy shit, you're Brittany Pierce. You're the main topic of this party," Kurt said, "Your parents say you're a genius or something." Brittany just rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm a "genius" cause some test says I am," Brittany said. This girl is so peculiar.

"And because you graduated high school at 14. If that doesn't scream genius, I don't know what does," Kurt said.

"Your parents haven't told everyone what your IQ score is," Kurt prodded. Brittany rolled her eyes and chuckled.

"It doesn't matter. I don't want to be defined as a genius or be defined by my IQ. I'm just Brittany, the kickass brain surgeon," she said. Kurt stared at her.

"I like you. We're going to be great friends," He said hooking his arm around her and walking back towards the party. I followed behind them replaying this weird interaction.

* * *

The party was loud and everyone was talking all at once and over the music. I was standing in the corner, nursing my second glass of wine. Everyone seemed to be having a good time. Quinn and her parents were making idle chit-chat. Kurt was talking to a group of nurses and Brittany's parents were still making rounds, boasting about their Einstein. I set my glass on the closest table and walked towards Quinn. Anytime I feel off or excluded, I always found myself going towards Quinn. Quinn turned to me and smiled.

"Can we get out of here?" I whispered in her ear. She smirked and nodded. I led her out of the house and towards her car.

* * *

I shot up out of bed, screaming. Quinn woke up too.

"San, it was just a dream," She said, calming me down, "It was just a dream." I laid back down. Quinn wrapped her arms around my waist. My heart was beating a million miles per hour. I grabbed my phone on Quinn's nightstand. Four-forty five in the morning.

"We should probably get up now," I told Quinn.

"We went to sleep around one, though," Quinn whined, "I'm still tired."

"I gotta go back home and get some clothes. Plus, my parents are giving me a tour of the hospital," I said.

"I could give you that tour," She mumbled into the pillow. I leaned over and kissed her shoulder blade.

"Yeah, I bet you could but I think it'll be better for my parents to do so," I mumbled. Quinn giggled. I got out of bed and walked over to the bathroom. I stared at myself in the mirror. I don't even recognize myself. My eyes were sunken and dark. Quinn walked into the bathroom and dropped a kiss on my shoulder.

"I really missed you," Quinn said, giving me a quick hug and then hopped into the shower. The shower turns on and Quinn asks me if I'm hopping in. I smirked.

"Yeah, in a sec," I said.

* * *

"This is the neonatal ward of the hospital," My dad droned on. I walked a few steps behind my parents as the tour of the hospital seemed to drag on. They showed me every unit of the hospital and introduced me to almost every nurse and doctor. We entered the ER.

"You will be working here for a bit and doing some consultations," My dad said turning to me.

"Yea…cool," I mumbled. My mom looked over at me and tapped me on the top of my head. I looked up at her. She mouthed, 'Pay attention'. I huffed and looked at my father. He was droning on about the surgery scheduled.

"When do I get to go into surgery?" I asked. He turned to me and then looked at my mom.

"I know I'm a trauma surgeon but I can do some general surgeries too," I said, looking at both my parents.

"Not anytime soon," He said. I looked at him incredulously.

"Why?" I practically shouted.

"You know why. Now stop trying to make a scene. You can start work now," He said sternly. I opened my mouth to argue.

"Santanita," My mom warned. I huffed.

"Whatever," I said.

"You're gonna have lunch with us, right?" My mom asked. I shrugged.

"I have to work now," I snipped, walking towards the nurse's table.

* * *

 **A/N: This "badass " Brittany isn't badass in the sense that she is a rebel, she's badass cause she's an awesome ass neurosurgeon at a young age.**


	3. Chapter 3

I grabbed the first file in the pile and walked over to the bed.

"Anton Scilari. 16. Extreme Headaches and pain when moving eyes. Been in the ER two times in the past week and a half," I read out loud. I looked over at the boy in the bed. He was wearing dark sunglasses and had his hood drawn low over his eyes.

"Wassup Anton, how you feeling?" I asked. His mom walked over to me.

"He can't hear you cause he has earplugs in," She said.

"Loud noises irritate him?" I asked. The mom shook her head. I wrote a note about his earplugs in his file.

"It seems like he just has a bad migraine. In his last visit to the ER, was he prescribed Sumatriptan?" I said.

"Tried that," His father said. I looked over at him.

"And what happened?" I asked.

"The headaches got worse," he continued.

"It was like his head was going to explode and he would burst into tears cause the pain was so bad," His mom said. I wrote down everything they said.

"Interesting," I said, "I'm going to call down a colleague to give some insight on this." I walked over to the nurse's desk

"Hey you, call up Dr. Pierce and see if she can come down to the ER for a small little consultation.," I told the nurse.

"Excuse me?" She said looking at me crazily.

"I don't think I stuttered," I said writing more notes in the file.

"My name is Mercedes Jones. You can call me Nurse Jones or Mercedes if we're friends. Which we are not," She said picking up the phone. I rolled my eyes.

"Hey Britt," She said smiling, "Yea I'm working ER for Mike this week." I tapped my fingers on the desk. Mercedes looked at me and huffed.

"Yea, I'm fine. Dr. Lopez wants to know if you can come down to the E.R and do a consultation," Mercedes told her.

"No, the daughter," Mercedes continued. Brittany must have said something funny because Mercedes started laughing.

"She's actually rude as hell," she said.

"Okay that's enough," I said taking the phone from her, "Dr. Pierce, it's me, Dr. Lopez, I have this patient in the ER and his symptoms seem very neural and I could use your insight."

"Cool, I'll be right there, Santana," She said before hanging up. Mercedes snatched the phone from me.

"What the hell is your problem?" I asked.

"I do not like you," she said. I scoffed and walked over to Anton.

"I paged Dr. Pierce, she's a superb neurosurgeon," I said. Anton's mom gasped.

"Is Anton going to need brain surgery," her voice wavering.

"I called her just for a consult, Ms. Scilari. No need to worry," I reassured. Her husband wrapped his arms around her," I said. We waited for a few minutes for Brittany's arrival. I saw a flash of blonde hair, rolling towards the nurse's desk. I stood up. I saw Mercedes point towards me. Brittany turned and gave me a goofy smile. She had rollerskates on. _My dad allows this type of behavior in the hospital?_ I just stood there, studying her as she skated towards me.

"Hey Santana," She said giddily, "How are you?" I couldn't open my mouth. The fact that she was wearing roller skates and using them as transportation through the hospital had me dumbfounded. Brittany just chuckled and took Anton's file from me. Her eyes scanned the file quick before turning to Anton's parent.

"Hey, I'm Dr. Brittany S. Pierce," She introduced, "Now your son has been experiencing extreme bouts of migraines and his eyes hurt when they move them." Anton's mother walked over to me.

"She's kinda young for a neurosurgeon," She stated. I just shrugged.

"She is but She is also one of the best neurosurgeons in North America," I whispered to her. Brittany skated over Anton and lightly tapped him on the shoulder. He looked in her general direction. Brittany pointed to her ears. He slowly took out his earplugs. Brittany crouched down next to the bed.

"Hey Anton, how are you feeling?" She whispered.

"Horrible," He whispered back.

"Okay, so I'm going to order some MRI's for you because from what I've read in your file, your migraines are really abnormal," Brittany explained. He nodded and put his earplugs back in.

"He might have a tumor," Brittany said as she stood up.

"Cancer?" Anton's mom gasped.

"Oh my god," Anton's dad said embracing his wife.

"Never said that. Not all tumors are cancerous. All I said is he might have a tumor," Brittany said looking over his file again, "I'm thinking he might have a small tumor behind his eye."

"That's what is causing his eye pain," I elaborated. Brittany nodded.

"Possibly but I'm not sure until I get the scans back," Brittany said, "Looks like Anton is getting admitted." Brittany handed me his file back.

"Don't worry Momma Scilari, Dr. Lopez and I will work hard helping your son get better," Brittany said with a smile. Anton's parents smiled and walked over to Anton. I followed Brittany back to the nurse's desk.

"So…" Brittany started off.

"So…" I jokingly mocked. She laughed and Mercedes scoffed. I glared at her.

"Want to have lunch with me?" Brittany asked. My eyes bulged out of my head. I heard Mercedes start coughing.

"Um…I would like to but…" I trailed off.

"You probably have a lunch date with your girlfriend," Brittany said. I rubbed the back of my neck.

"I wish but no. I have a lunch date with my parents," I informed. Brittany smiled.

"Oh cool. Your parents are cool as heck," Brittany said. I gave her a weird look.

"Maybe to you," I mumbled.

"Well… if you decide to ditch your parents, I usually get lunch around 3 o'clock," Brittany said before skating off. I smiled as I watched her skate off. I turned and found Mercedes glaring at me.

"What?" I snipped. She rolled her eyes

"I'm watching you, Dr. Lopez," She said turning away from me.

* * *

"I fucking hate the ER," I said flopping onto the chair next to Kurt. Kurt was looking over some files in the employee lounge.

"It sure beats post-surgery check-ups," Kurt said.

"I heard you gonna go into surgery today," I prodded. Kurt sighed.

"It's just to observe," He said, "Not cutting anyone open."

"Have you seen Quinn at all today?" He asked flipping through a file.

"One of her patients had to have an emergency surgery," I said grabbing a file from his lap, "She's been in surgery for like 3 hours." Kurt hummed. I checked my watch.

"Fuck it's 2:45 already?" I said hopping up, "Come with me to lunch with my parents." I grabbed Kurt's hands and tugged him towards the door.

"I already ate, though," He said. I continued to pull him.

"Who cares? You can eat again."

* * *

By the time we met up with my parents for lunch, they had already ordered.

"So anything exciting happened today in the ER?" my mom asked. I took a gulp of my water.

"This guy came in complaining about pains in his ass and how he couldn't shit or sit down. So I had to stick my fingers in there and you will never guess what I pulled out," I said.

"Santana, we're eating," my dad said.

"Hold on, I'm getting to the best part," I continued, "I pulled out 3 Barbie heads, that were duct taped together, out this guys ass. Not just 1 but 3! I told the guy he's a sicko and he needs to stay out of all Toys R Us, " I said. Kurt almost spat his water all over himself.

"Santana, please," My mom said looking disgusted.

"Mom, I can remember you and dad discussing work over dinner when I was younger," I shot back. My mom rolled her eyes. We were at my parent's favorite diner that was around the corner from the Hospital.

"Santana…" my dad warned. I rolled my eyes.

"What about you, Kurt? How's your day going?" my mom asked.

"I've been in small surgeries all day," Kurt said, "Didn't get my hands too dirty. Just observed the way you guys do surgeries here."

"Must be nice," I mumbled. Kurt kicked my shin.

"Hijo de puta! What the fuck!" I said rubbing my shin.

"Language, Santanita!" My mom reprimanded. I was about to say something when a flash of blonde hair came into my sight of view.

"Dr. Pierce!" My dad shouted. Brittany turned and smiled at my dad.

"Dr. L, wassup?" She said walking over.

"I'm doing fine. How are you? You're on your lunch break?" He asked.

"Yea, Nurse Anderson told me about this place and thought I'll check it out," she said. I sat back and watched Brittany and my dad's interaction.

"Hey Santana, I got Anton's scans back and I was wondering if, after your lunch is done, we can look at them," she said. I nodded.

"Cool," She said smiling, "I'll let you guys get back to your lunch."

"No, no, no. Join us," My dad said getting out of his chair to pull another one to the table. I sat back and watched my dad treat Brittany like she was family. Who am I kidding? He doesn't treat any of his kids like this.

"I just realized that I rather be anywhere else but here," I said getting up from the table, "Dr. Pierce, when you're done with lunch, I'll be in the ER when you want to run the scans by me." I left and went straight back to the hospital.


	4. Chapter 4

I sat at the circular desk next to Mercedes. The ER was slow and I was getting bored.

"Can someone please come in with like the flu or something?" I said more to myself.

"So…" I said, trying to initiate conversation with Mercedes. Her eyes stayed glued to the computer in front of her.

"Dr. Lopez, I am trying to work. I advise you do the same thing," she said. I huffed and grabbed the phone and called the pediatric ward.

"Pediatric Ward. Nurse Berry Speaking," a nurse said.

"Nurse Berry, it's Dr. Lopez and I was wondering if Dr. Fabray out of surgery yet?" I asked.

"Let me check for you," she said. The phone was silent for a moment.

"She just got out 10 minutes ago. Do you want me to page her down to ER?" She asked. Once she said that I saw Quinn walking towards me.

"Um, no, it's okay. Thank you, Berry," I said before hanging up.

"Hello Dr. Fabray, you look exhausted," I said walking towards her. Quinn looked so defeated.

"I lost a patient today," She said. That's when the tears started to fall.

"Fuck," I wrapped my arms around her as she cried silently into my shoulder. I looked over at Mercedes. She was looking at Quinn with concerned.

"Um, Nurse Jones, I'm going to go to my office for a few," I said before turning back to Quinn.

"Come on," I said. We walked quietly to my office. Quinn walked in, sat down on the couch and started to cry again. I rushed to her side and embraced her again.

"Oh babe," was all I can say. I rubbed slow circles on her back as her crying slowed down. We sat there in silence for a while.

"We don't have to talk about what happened if you're not ready," I told her. I grabbed her hand and kissed it. A few minutes clicked by. I just sat with Quinn in my arms, listening to her crying get quieter. A few more minutes clicked by.

"I've been treating this little girl for the past year and a half," She started, "When she first came in it was for a severe stomach ache. She couldn't hold any food in." I listened as Quinn spoke.

"Turns out that she had an abdominal aortic aneurysm and a huge one. I was able to take it out in the first surgery, no problem. She felt better when I checked in on her in Post-Op. Prescribed her some painkillers and sent her home. A few days later her parents rushed her back to the ER and I was immediately notified," She said, "I did another CT scan and saw a bunch of them. But this time they were smaller, so I decided that the best plan of action was to just monitor them and that is what we did. For the next 8 months, that is exactly what we did." Quinn choked back some tears.

"This morning, she was rushed back in and she was throwing up blood. I scrubbed in as fast as I could and when I cut her open I-"

I hugged her and rubbed her back.

"It's okay, Q," I reassured, "I'm here."

"Three hours into trying to remove it, it burst." She said, "I'm a surgeon but that was a lot of blood and I tried b-but I couldn't. I couldn't save her, San." She started bawling like a child. My heart broke at Quinn being so distraught.

* * *

There was a knock on my office door. I slowly detach myself from Quinn and walked over to see who it was. I yanked the door open.

"What?" I said rudely before seeing who it was. Brittany stood in front of me with a big smile.

"Hey San, I was wondering if I can run those scans by you now," she said. I looked back at Quinn, who was wiping her eyes.

"Um…" I started. Quinn walked over to me.

"I, uh, have to get back to work," Quinn said. She gave me a kiss on the lips.

"I love you," I said kissing her back.

"I love you too," she said. She looked up at Brittany and gave her a timid wave. I just watched Quinn walk away.

Quinn is really pretty," Brittany said breaking me out of my Quinn-induced stupor.

"How did the scans look?" I asked changing the subject.

"Uh yeah, just what I had expected," She said putting the scans up to the light, "I almost missed it the first time I checked but there's a tumor putting pressure on his frontal lobe and his left eye." I hummed in response.

"So is surgery necessary?" I asked. Brittany walked into my office.

"We could do surgery," She said looking around, "But your father-"

"Fuck my dad. I'm fine to do surgeries," I said. She turned and gave me a big smile.

"Why can't you do surgeries?" she asked. I rolled my eyes.

"It's not that I can't it's more that he doesn't want me to," I said.

"Why?" She asked. She sat down on my couch and just stared at me.

"Why can't you do surgeries?" she asked. I rolled my eyes.

"It's not that I can't it's more that he doesn't want me to," I said.

"Why?" She asked. She sat down on my couch and just stared at me.

"You know I am a soldier, right? I was in Afghanistan and I saw a lot of bad shit and my dad thinks I have PTSD and truly believes that I'll freak the fuck out if I were to cut some open in surgery." I told her.

"You got injured in Afghanistan?" She asked.

"Why does that matter?" I asked.

"I'm curious. You intrigue me," She replied. I stared her down before breaking.

"I got shot in my leg and my shoulder by a fellow soldier that was being wheeled into the medical barracks. He still had his gun on him and he was suffering from multiple gunshot wounds to the legs," I said.

"So that's why you have a slight limp," She said.

"I have a what?" I asked.

"You have a slight limp. You lean on your left leg more than your right. You got shot in your right leg?," She asked. I nodded.

"Mercedes owes me $10," Brittany said. "Don't worry the limp is hardly noticeable." Brittany stood up and walked to the door.

"I'm going to talk to Mr. and Mrs. Scilari about our findings and how we are going proceed with the surgery preparations," She said. I just nodded.

My shift was coming to an end and I honestly couldn't have been happier. I turned the lights off in my office and headed towards the parking garage. My phone dinged.

 **-1 new text from Q-**

 **From Q: Hey, babe I had to leave already because my mom caught a flat on her way back from Columbus. Sorry xo. Maybe Kurt can take you home?**

I internally cursed. I knew I should've gone home and got a car. I picked up my phone and dialed Kurt's number. It rang 3 times and then went straight to voicemail. I huffed.

"What is the point of having a phone if you're not going to answer it." I looked around to see if I saw anyone I knew.

The parking lot was desolated. It was eerily quiet.

"Fuck this shit," I said walking towards the hospital. A loud bang made me stand still. I looked around and saw no one. A car alarm went off and what sounded like a gunshot made my body went into survival mode. I looked around frantically. The papers and my phone that I was holding all dropped to the floor. My hand instantly went to my waist but I had nothing. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears. _Fuck._ Maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me but I saw a figure walking towards me.

"Hey, Doc!" The figure yelled. The figure sounded so much like Noah Puckerman. The dark figure started charging towards me. I froze up for a second before ducking behind the nearest car. I crouched down and made my body as small as it can be. My body felt heavy as a rock and I couldn't move. My eyes glued to the floor.

After a few moments, I heard some footsteps.

"Whose stuff is this?" A woman said.

"Obviously doctors," another woman said.

"Dr. S. Lopez," I heard someone mutter.

"Santana?" I heard the other woman call out. I could hardly hear the footsteps walking towards me because my heart was thumping so loud.

"What are you doing?" From the corner of my eye, I saw Brittany. My heart was still thumping loud. I couldn't breathe. Brittany was looking at me with a smile on her face. I tried to speak but all that came out was a shaky breath. Brittany playful looked turned to a look of concern.

"Brittany is it-" It was Mercedes. She looked worried.

"I can take you home," Brittany whispered. I didn't make an attempt to move.

"Britt…" Mercedes said in a warning tone.

"I'll call you later, 'Cedes," Brittany said waving her friend away. I watched Brittany stand up, walk in front of me, and then take a seat on the floor.

"We can go when you're ready," She said calmly.

We sat there for what felt like hours. My body slowly loosening up and my heart beat returning back to a regular pace.

Brittany looked up from her phone.

"I'm ready whenever you are, Santana. No rush," she said with a soft smile.

"I'm good now," I said barely above a whisper. I noticed that all of the stuff that I was carrying was in a neat pile next to Brittany. Brittany got up, brushed off her pants and put her hand out to help me.

The car ride to my parents' house was a quiet one. Brittany had the radio on for background noise.

"So…" she started.

"I don't want to talk about it," I said sternly. Brittany just shrugged.

"I was just gonna ask if you were hungry," Brittany said, "But whatever."

"No, I'm not," I said gazing outside. Brittany just shrugged. After a few moments, the car was parked in my parent's driveway.

"You should really think about getting your own place," Brittany said. I looked over at her.

"I've been in the army for most of my adult life. I didn't have time, while in Afghanistan, to look for houses," I said sarcastically. Brittany chuckled.

"Well, you're here now," she replied. I nodded. _I'm here now._

"I better get inside," I said opening the car door. I climbed out the car and hesitated for a bit.

"Um, Pierce…" I said turning to Brittany.

"Yea, San?"

"Um, thanks…," I said before closing the door and heading inside the house.


	5. Chapter 5

"Another early morning in the ER," I said to Kurt as we entered the hospital.

"Don't you and Brittany have a surgery schedule today?" he asked. We walked up to the nurses' desk in the ER. I rubbed my neck.

"Um...I don't think I'm going into surgery today," I said. I grabbed a few files from Mercedes.

"Why?" he prodded. I huffed.

"I don't want to talk about it," I said. I didn't get any sleep when Brittany dropped me off last night. Before I left the house this morning, I had already drunk 3 cups of coffee and a 5-hour energy.

"How much sleep did you get last night?" Kurt asked. I just stared at him.

"I'll take that as zero," Kurt said. His pager went off.

"Sorry, Satan, duty calls," He said rushing out off. I turned and started looking at the files. After a few glances at them, Mercedes cleared her throat. I looked up.

"You good?" She asked.

"Just peachy," I said turning and heading towards the first patient.

* * *

The day seemed to drag on. It was all the same cases in the ER. Some flu cases and did some sutures. This one guy came with a broken arm because his friends bet him to jump out off his roof into a trash can.

"Why the hell would you take that bet?" I asked him as I cast his arm. He just shrugged.

"He bet me $50," he grumbled.

"This cast cost more than $50. You didn't win any money, you actually lost some," I told him.

"You're insanely hot," He said. I rolled my eyes.

"For the 100th time, no," I said tapping his cast. He flinched a little.

"Don't get this wet," I said, "And for the pain, you can take some simple Tylenol." He nodded. I walked away, back towards the nurses' desk. Brittany was sitting next to Mercedes.

"Hey San," She said smiling.

"Hey," I said dryly. Her smile did not falter.

"Kurt told me about you not wanting to go into surgery today and I completely understand," She said, "I would like for you to at least be there." I glanced over at Mercedes.

"Can we continue this conversation in my office?" I asked. She nodded. I walked briskly to my office.

Brittany walked in and I closed the door. I didn't move from the door.

"San, I know you feel that you can't do the surgery," Brittany said.

"You don't know anything," I said, "Anything about how I'm feeling." She just shrugged her shoulders.

"I thought you were some badass surgeon," She shot back.

"I can't do it. My father is right. Everyone is right. I can't do surgeries right now," I said. My heart was beating really fast.

"Okay," was all she said.

"Okay?" I questioned.

"Okay," she repeated, "Can you at least be there. Observing? Things are a lot different here than Afghanistan."

"I...okay," I stuttered out.

 _Three hours later._

I was scrubbing in, looking into the OR. Brittany was scrubbing in next to me.

"You don't even have to hold anything," Brittany said. We got all ready and walked into the OR.

"Alright guys, let's do this," Brittany said. I looked at Anton, who was fully asleep under the anesthesia. Brittany instructed the scrub nurse to hand her a scalpel. Brittany took a deep breath before doing the first cut on the side of his face.

"You good?" Brittany asked. I scoffed.

"I haven't done anything," I told her. She giggled.

"Can you give me some suction, a little bit?" She asked. A scrub nurse handed me the suction.

"Please, San," Brittany asked. I got a little closer to her and suctioned some blood while she drilled a small holee into Anton's head. My hands started shaking a little bit. The drilling sound made me wince. My heartbeat started to speed up. I looked over at everyone in the ER. Some scrub nurse adverted their eyes from me. I cleared my throat and took a deep breath.

"Um, can a nurse- can you hold the suction?" I asked.

"San, you're doing good," Brittany said. I handed the suction to the closest scrub nurse and walked out of the ER.

* * *

I was sitting in my office when there was a small knock at the door.

"Anton is doing okay," Brittany said entering. I couldn't meet her eyes. She just sat down on the couch.

"So..."

"I couldn't do it," I started, "The drilling sound just...just reminded me of all the amputations we had to do on spot."

"Santana, have you thought about speaking to someone?" Brittany asked.

"I'm not crazy," I said. Brittany threw her hands up in surrender.

"Never said you were," Brittany replied. Before I could reply, my dad barged into my office.

"Who said you could go into surgery?" He asked. I just sat in my chair, rigid. He paced.

"You could've killed someone," He started, "God, forbid someone drops a metal pan and you think it's a gunshot." I felt the anger surge through my body.

"Dr. L, Santana was on suction," Brittany said, making herself known.

"Brittany, that does not matter. I do not want Santana in an OR at all. If I could have it my way, having her even give sutures would be a major no as well," He said before storming out.

"I'm not some fucking fragile fucking doll! I'm a surgeon!" I yelled at him. Tears started forming in my eyes. I wiped them away quickly.

"San-"

"Get out," I said. Brittany walked towards me. She reached for my arm but I pulled away from her.

"Get out" I repeated.

* * *

"Fuck, San!" Quinn moaned. After that little debacle with my father and Brittany, I avoided the ER for the next few hours. Quinn and I were in her car making out like some hormonal teenagers. I was kissing her neck as my hand trailed down to her pants. She grabbed my hand.

"No, no, no. We are not having sex right now," Quinn said. I rolled my eyes.

"And why not?" I asked.

"Because we're in a car, in the parking garage at our job," Quinn said. I groaned.

"Plus, I know you haven't been in the ER all day. Your dad is going to get pissed if he finds out," Quinn said.

"Fuck him," I said.

"You can't hide out in the Peds ward all day," Quinn said.

"I can try."

"Or you can go back to the ER," Quinn said kissing my lips. I pouted.

"I'm going back to the ER because I want to… not because you told me to," I said getting out of the car.

"Yea, mhm, sure," Quinn said.

* * *

I was back in my seat, next to Mercedes. I had a pile of unsharpened pencils in front of me and I was using them as lincoln logs.

"Why is Brittany always so happy?" I asked.

"Because that is just how she is," Mercedes said.

"No one is always happy," I rebutted.

"Not everyone is Queen of the Damned, Satan," Mercedes said.

"Why don't you like me? I've done nothing to you, Weezy," I said. Mercedes scoffed.

"Never said I didn't like you, Santana. I just don't care for your presence, your attitude, or your opinions," she said.

"Well, I can say the same about you," I mumbled. I knocked my "log" house over and got up from my chair.

"Where are you going?" Mercedes asked.

"Going to find some trauma," I said walking backward. When I turned around, I bumped into someone. "Holy shit!" I shouted as I looked at this guy with multiple knives in his hand.

"Dude, what the fuck?" I said again. Rushing him to the closest bed.

"I kind of blacked out and woke up to this?" He questioned.

"Are you asking me or telling me?" I asked him. He kept sniffling and shaking his hand. He laid down on the bed. The guys face looked really pale.

"What's your name?" I asked him.

"Jacob Ben Israel but my friends call me JBI." This guy is going to pass out. HIs eyes rolled back before he fell back onto the bed.

"I need a nurse over here!" I yelled. Mercedes rushed over to me,

"What the hell?" She exclaimed. This is not just some quick fix up. This needs surgery.

"Nurse Jones, when is the next open OR?" I asked. She quickly signed into the closest computer and looked up the OR times.

"OR 3 is open right now."

"Place my name in the open spot and help me wheel this patient over there," I said pulling the bars up on the bed.

"Is that a good idea? I can call over Dr. Hudson to-"

I pushed past her and typed my name in the open OR spot.

"You can either help me or just stand there," I said as I started rolling him towards the OR. Mercedes huffed but started to help me.

* * *

It was only me and the scrub nurse in the OR. I was zoned in. I heard someone come into the OR.

"Santanita, what are you doing?" It was my mom.

"I'm removing these very sharp knives from this man's hand. What are you doing?" I shot back.

"Brittany needs the OR," My mom said. I put down the scalpel and looked at my mom.

"And what do you want me to do? Give up the OR for the hospitals golden child?" I scoffed and picked up the scalpel again and went back to repairing the damage down to this man's hand.

"Santanita, you're not supposed to be in an OR," my mom said.

"Then put me on a "Do Not Let in an OR" list then," I said taking a moment to look at the damage that was left in the hand.

"Man, the tendons are severely messed up. I'm pretty sure I can fix it but the use of this hand is never going to be the same," I thought out loud. I could feel my mom burning holes in the back of my head with her eyes.

"I'm stitching up the cuts now," I said mostly to her. I finished the stitches and wrapped his hand with some gauzes.

"Get him to a room and hook him up to an IV. We're going to admit him for 24 hours strictly for follow up. Have his attending nurse know that his gauze needs to change every hour on the hour. I'll be there as well to check on any possible infections," I said. The scrub nurse nodded and wheeled him out the OR. I got up from my stool and brushed past my mom.

"OR is ready for you, Dr. Lopez," I said.

* * *

I sat in the seat next to JBI's bed. It's probably the only place no one will look for me in. I had already checked his wound and rewrapped his gauze. I was eating some grapes, just waiting for him to wake up. JBI started groaning.

"Hello?" He groaned.

"Right here, knifey," I told him, "You going to tell me how you got three knives in your hand?"

"No, I'm good," He said quickly. I just shrugged.

"I know it wasn't because of you blacking out," I said, "So what happened?"

"I-I, uh, blacked out," He said. I nodded. Someone knocked on the door before entering. A beef head intern walked in.

"Finally," He said looking at me. I scrunched up my eyebrows.

"Dr. Fabray had me looking all over the goddamn hospital for you," He said.

"Who are you?" I asked. He smiled.

"Oh, I'm Dr. Dave Karofsky. I'm an intern," He started, "I want to go into Pediatric surgery."

"All I needed was a name, Karofsky. What does Dr. Fabray want from me?" I asked.

"She told me to tell you that it's close to 4 pm and you'll know what that means," He said, "But since I've been looking for you for so long, it's closer to 6 pm I checked my watch. _6 pm!_. I hopped out of the chair. I had missed lunch with my parents and Quinn. I rushed towards the Pediatric Wing.

* * *

I sat in the passenger's seat of Quinn's car. Quinn hasn't spoken to me all day.

"I was in a surgery and then after that, he was on intensive care and watch," I said for the 15th time that ride.

"This is ridiculous and childish that you are giving me the silent treatment," I huffed. Quinn slammed on the breaks and pulled over to the side of the road.

"What the fu-"

"You had a breakdown the other night and you didn't tell me."

I looked at her with a weird look.

"Yea, um, cause it's not important," I said.

"Santana!" Quinn shouted, "This is not a joke! You are not okay."

"I am okay!" I shouted back. Quinn slapped my arm.

"No! No, you're not! Someone that is okay does not sit in a parking lot space for hours, rocking back and forth!" She hit my arm.

"Stop hitting me!" I said. I got out the car and slammed the door. Quinn turned the car off and got out as well.

"You know who told me this shit? Brittany! She came up to me asking me if you were okay and you know how stupid I looked when I did not have a fucking clue what she was talking about," Quinn said.

"I didn't want to tell you because I don't want my parents to find out," I said.

"And you really think I would tell them? You obviously don't know me."

"Being a surgeon is all I know, Quinn!" I started. "It's what I knew I wanted to do since I was young. If I'm not okay, I can't do what I know." I was crying hard.

"Santana, please, get some help. Go to the VA," Quinn said, embracing me.

"I'm fine," I repeated.

"Santana, please," Quinn begged, "If not for yourself, do it for me." Quinn was crying just as hard as me.

* * *

 **AN: I like how this is coming along**


	6. Chapter 6

I laid on the rug in the middle of my parents living room. _I need to get my own place._ Due to me performing a surgery without any authorized clearance by my mom or dad, they suspended me from the hospital for 5 days. I'm currently on day 3 of my suspension and I am bored.

"Kurt, save me from this hell," I groaned. It was Kurt's day off so he came to babysit.

"Santana, stop being so dramatic, that is my thing," He said, "Have you spoken to Quinn?"

"I've spoken to her voicemail more than her," I said. Quinn hasn't really spoken to me since our fight. It was not complete radio silence, she's just less likely to text me back or return my calls.

"I heard she was in back to back surgeries yesterday," Kurt said, "And one of her interns almost killed a kid!" I looked at Kurt.

"How?"

"The kid is allergic to peanut butter and the intern gave him Reese's peanut butter cup," Kurt said, "The intern got chewed out by Quinn and also your parents." I winced.

"I know how that feels," I said.

"There's a rumor going around that you're getting interns soon," Kurt said. I shot up.

"What?!"

"Yup," was all he said. I gave him a confused look.

"How am I supposed to teach surgical interns anything if I can't even do surgeries?" I said.

"Have you called the VA?" Kurt said. I rolled my eyes.

"I was...I called yesterday," I said. Kurt squealed.

"And?"

"I was on the phone for at least 3 hours and I didn't get connected with anyone," I sighed.

"So is this your admittance that you need some help?" Kurt asked.

"I just want a paper to show my dad that he was wrong," I said.

"Okay, try the VA again and get a therapist," He said. I just shrugged.

* * *

Day 4: I was on the phone with the VA again trying to get an appointment with a therapist. It took me two hours but I finally got through to someone and scheduled an appointment with a Sue Sylvester tomorrow at 10 a.m.

"Thank you. Have a nice day," I said. I hung the phone up and walked to the kitchen where I found Brittany and Kurt sitting at the island drinking some coffee.

"Woah, what is going on here?" I asked.

"Girl talk," Brittany said smiling.

"Did you get through?" Kurt asked. I nodded. Kurt squealed and hugged me.

"This is great. This is fantastic. This deserves a drink!" Kurt said.

"What's happening?" Brittany asked. Kurt rummaged through my parent's liquor cabinet. I sat down, a seat away from Brittany.

"I booked an appointment for a therapist," I said. Brittany's smile got bigger.

"This does deserve a drink," she said. Kurt placed a shot glass in front of us.

"Kurt, I don't drink," I said pushing the drink away from me.

"Oh bitch, you drinking today!" He said adding another shot glass in front of me.

"Kurt, I can't drink either," Brittany said, "I'm only on my lunch break."

"Have you spoken to Quinn?" I asked Brittany out of the blue.

"Not really. I hardly go to the peds ward," She said.

"Oh…" I said defeated.

"But from what I heard from Mercedes, she's not all so sunshine lately either," she said.

"No one wants a rude pediatric surgeon," Kurt said. I rolled my eyes.

"You know how Quinn gets when she is angry," Kurt said.

"How long have you guys known each other?" Brittany asked.

"Too long," Kurt and I said. Brittany laughed.

"I've known Kurt since birth. His parents were besties with mine and we were born around the same time," I said, "I've known Quinn since middle school. We hated each other at first. Always fought over who's the most popular."

"What changed between you two?" Brittan asked.

"Um...I think high school," I started, "We were forced to be co-captains of our cheerleading team."

"You were a cheerleader?" Brittany exclaimed. Kurt started laughing.

"Santana actually got a full-ride _cheerleading_ scholarship to the University of Louisville," Kurt said. Brittany's eyes almost popped out of her head.

"I didn't take it," I said, "The army was more appealing to me."

"Why?"

"Louisville wasn't attractive to me. Cheerleading wasn't that great either. I wanted to change it up," I said, "When the military recruiters came to my school, I sat down with all of them to way my options."

"And she dragged me along," Kurt said. I slapped him.

"Oh please, you came willingly," I said. Kurt laughed

We spent the rest of Brittany's break eating and talking about or time in high school.

* * *

My suspension was finally up and I was back in my designated seat next to Mercedes. I laid my head on the desk.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but I've actually missed your presence," Mercedes.

"It's been hell in my life without you as well, Weezy," I said. She rolled her eyes and continued putting files together before handing half to me. Someone approached the ER circular desk.

"Santanita, I heard about your appointment," My mom said. I just stared at her. She fidgeted a little bit.

"Look, I would love to go continue this … whatever this is but I have to get back to work," I said grabbing the pile and walking over to my first patient. She was a five-year-old girl,

"Hello Evelyn, I'm Dr. Lopez. Your mom said you fell the other day and scraped your knee and now it's super bad looking," I said crouching in front of the girl. She hugged her teddy bear and nodded.

"Okay. Can I roll your pant leg up and look at it?" I asked her. She nodded again. I rolled up her left pant leg and looked at the scraped knee. It was red and slightly swollen around the knee.

"Was the scab this big originally?" I asked her mom.

"No. When she got the scrape, I put some Neosporin on it and a bandage on it," Her mom told me.

"It's definitely infected," I said.

"How bad?" Her mom asked.

"Like infected bad," I replied, "Not too bad. Some antibiotics can clear this up."

"Can Dr. Fabray come down here?" the mom asked.

"Why?"

"Evelyn has a compromised immune system and I just want her input on this," she said. I got up from in front of Evelyn and got in the moms face.

"And you waited this long to get this scrape checked out. This is why it isn't healing correctly. This could've been way worse if you waited for another second," I said getting angry. _Negligent fucking parents_. I rushed over to the circular desk.

"'Cedes, can you call Quinn down to the ER. One of her patients is down here with a severely infected scrape," I said slamming the file on the desk. Mercedes picked up the phone at lightning speed.

It took Quinn around four minutes to run down to the ER, get Evelyn, and take her to the Peds ward. Four minutes, zero time for casualties between us. The rest of the day was a drag. The same old runny nose and sore throat cases.

* * *

 ** _Tuesday_**

I sat in this room waiting for my therapist to walk in. After 10 minutes, a tall blonde hair, the older woman walked in and sat behind her desk.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Sue Sylvester," Was all she said as she read over the file in her hand. After a few moments, she put it down and looked at me.

"Can we talk about Noah Puckerman?" Dr. Sue Sylvester used. I looked at her shocked.

"Look, I do not need to get to know you. I have your whole file on hand," She said, "What really stood out to me was that you woke up from your short medically-induced coma screaming 'Noah! Noah!''."

"I-I…"

"Don't bullshit me, Major. Were you and Noah in some sort of relationship?" She asked.

"W-what?!" I sputtered out, "No! What the Fuck! I met Noah when he was rushed to the medical barracks suffering multiple gunshot wounds."

"Why did his death affect you so much?" She asked. I sat there, staring down at my hands.

"I don't know," I said truthfully. Sue rolled her eyes and scoffed.

"Ugh, I hate dealing with soldiers that can't express themselves," She muttered. I glared at her.

"I hate dealing with stuck up therapists," I shot back. She just shrugged.

"Well you're stuck with me, sandbags," She said. I automatically covered my chest.

"You're rude."

"I'm not getting paid to be nice. I get paid to fix you."

"I'm not broken."

"Why can't you perform surgeries?" She shot back.

"Because my dad thinks I can't."

"Do you think so, too?" She asked.

"Think what? That I can't perform surgeries? I did a surgery," I said.

"Which got you suspended from the hospital for 5 days and it was on a hand."

"So?"

"What happens when you get a serious trauma surgery? A 3 car pile up and they need their best trauma surgeon to work on the 32-year-old man that looks similar to Sergeant Puckerman?" She asked.

"I don't know," I said holding back my tears.

"What happens when you go and try to save him because you think you're getting a second chance at saving Noah Puckerman? What happens if you can't save him and he dies? What happens to your mind when you can't differentiate this random 32-year-old and the fact that Noah Puckerman is dead and isn't coming back?" She said.

"I'm a great surgeon," I said. My tears were falling freely now.

"And I do not doubt that but obviously Afghanistan did some damage to you and for them to clear you was a mistake," Sue said.

"Okay I think that is enough for today's session," Sue said. She handed me a tissue and gave me a pat on the back before walking towards the door.

"See you next Tuesday, Major Lopez," She said before exiting.

* * *

It was a little past midnight and I was outside of Quinn's apartment complex. After leaving my therapy session I went to the nearest bar. I do not drink and haven't touched alcohol since my first year in Afghanistan but after that session, I needed something to calm my nerves. I was holding a bottle of Jack while climbing up Quinn's fire escape. I knocked on her bedroom window. I saw some movement and a few seconds later Quinn was opening the window up.

"Santana! What are you doing here?" She asked shocked, "Are you drunk?" I stumbled my way through the window. I placed the bottle on one of her nightstands.

"Just a little bit. I'm here because I miss you, Q," I said. I sat at the edge of her bed.

"I went to my first therapy session today and it went horrible," I started taking my shoes off, "She was rude and she cursed at me. Highly unprofessional." Quinn looked at me nervously. I got up and slid under the covers.

"I went out for a small drink and I wanted to see you and sleep," I said draping my arm over the body next to me.

"When did you get into bed?" I asked cozying closer, "When did you get so bulky, too?"

"Santana…" I looked over at the window. Quinn was still standing over there. I shot up out of bed and hit the light switch.

"Quinn…" I finally noticed the robe that was covering Quinn's naked body. I pulled the blanket off of the bed to reveal the person who was in the bed. It was a guy.

"Who the fuck is this?" I asked. He hopped out of bed and used a pillow to cover his junk. He held his hand out.

"Hello Dr. Lopez, I'm Finn Hudson. I work in the hospital with you," He said. "Orthopedic Surgeon." I just stared at him.

"You're fucking my girlfriend," I said. I looked at Quinn.

"You're fucking a fucking a fucking bone doctor?" I asked. I could feel my anger rising and the mix of alcohol was not helping.

"Dr. Lopez, I do have to tell you that Quinn and I were in a committed relationship a few years back for at least 2 years," He said. I glared at him.

"You're fucking my girlfriend!" I yelled. I charged at him but Quinn jumped in the middle.

"It's not his fault! I initiated all of this," She motioned to him and herself. That statement alone felt like a punch in the gut. The anger was still rising in me. I turned around and punched a hole in the wall. _Okay, maybe two holes in the wall._

"Santana, calm down," Quinn said, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"Don't touch me," I said vehemently. Quinn jumped back a bit. I brushed past her and grabbed my bottle of Jack before storming out of her apartment.

* * *

 **A/N: Originally, I was gonna put Rachel instead of Finn but In almost all my stories Quinn is with Rachel. So I decided to change it up a bit.**


	7. Chapter 7

I strolled into work late the next morning. After leaving Quinn's place I ended up finishing the bottle of Jack and sleeping in the park under a bench.

"You look like shit, San," Kurt said. I walked past him and went straight to my office. I threw my bags onto the floor not caring if the contents of it spilled onto the floor. Kurt followed me in and closed the door behind me.

"How was your session?"

"Not much happened. We talked," I said with my head in my hands. My head was pounding.

"Does that have to do with why you smell like booze?" Kurt asked. My head shot up. _Fuck, bad idea._ I groaned in agony.

"No," I groaned, "I drank a bit."

"And didn't have time to shower this morning?"

"Not when you wake up under a bench in McKinley Park," I shot back. Kirt winced.

"Ooh," he said, "What happened?"

"Quinn and I are over … for good."

"Wha-Why?"

"I found her in bed with Dr. Hudson last night."

"Platonic sleepover?" Kurt wondered. I chuckled bitterly.

"Yeah. Totally," I said, "A naked one."

"Ouch," Kurt winced. I just shrugged.

"I was already drinking when I got to her house."

"Therapy was that bad?" He asked.

"Somewhat," I started, "Emotionally draining. It brought up some things that I wish I could forget."

"Santana, remember, I was there as well," Kurt said. I looked up at him.

"I know," I said. Kurt looked at me sympathetically.

"Come on, go throw some cold water on your face," Kurt said, "You look ghostly." I chuckled.

"Great diagnosis, Doc," I said getting up from my chair.

* * *

"I should get my name engraved on this chair," I said to Mercedes.

"Same," she said, "Maybe get gold plaques glued onto this desk."

"Preach."

She handed me some files.

"Let's get this over with," She told me. I got up and walked to my first patient. As I was doing my routine preliminary check up on them, Finn walked up to me.

"Dr. Lopez, can we speak?" He asked. I clenched the clipboard when I heard his voice.

"Dr. Hudson...no," I said as I continued.

"Mercedes can do this check-up," He said as he whistled Mercedes over.

"Who the hell are you whistling at?" She said as she got close to him.

"Finish this checkup, I have to talk to Dr. Lopez," He said. Mercedes gave me this look. I rolled my eyes at him.

"I do not know what we could possibly talk about, Hudson. I am busy and you will not come into my ER commanding people around," I said.

"With all due respect-" I turned around and lightly pushed him away from the patient.

"With all due disrespect, I do not give a fuck about what you want to talk about. Quinn? It's obvious what happened and I don't see why we have to talk about it."

"I just want to make sure we're cool," Finn said. I laughed.

"You fucked my girlfriend," I said.

"So, that's a no?" He asked. I wanted to smack him so badly and Mercedes could sense my anger rising.

"Finn, get the hell out of here. Don't you have some bones to reset or something?" Mercedes said. Finn huffed and walked away. I closed my eyes and counted to five.

"Thanks 'Cedes," I said to her.

"I'm the only one here allowed to piss you off," She said before returning to her desk. I rolled my eyes and chuckled.

* * *

I sat in the operating theatre and watched Kurt perform a surgery on gallstones stuck in the cystic duct of a 24-year-old woman. I ate my lunch as Kurt did his first cut. The other people in the theatre just stared at me.

"What?" I bit. They all turned the heads to the surgery happening in front of us.

"How can you eat while watching this?" A voice said. I looked up and saw Brittany.

"This spaghetti is really delicious and I don't wanna waste it," I said. She chuckled and sat down next to me.

"When am I going to see you down there?" She asked me. I just shrugged.

"Whenever my shrink says I'm good enough to do so," I said. Brittany looked at my spaghetti again.

"Is this what you do for lunch instead of going out with your parents and Quinn?" Brittany asked. I flinched.

"I rather be here than next to my parents and my ex."

"Ex?"

"Ex." Brittany patted my back, comfortably.

"Sorry."

"It's not your fault. You didn't sleep with Quinn and I walk in on it," I said, "No need to be sorry." I packed my fork with as much spaghetti as I can manage and stuffed my mouth with it.

"It's that good?" Brittany asked chuckling.

"Yea, you want some?" I asked holding my fork out to her. She smiled and took the spaghetti off my fork and into her mouth. She chewed for a bit before an elated moan escaped her lip. I just stared as she stole my fork and took more spaghetti.

"This is great," She said with her mouth full.

"Y-yea. Good," was all I could get out. Brittany giggled. I regained my composure.

"I could cook you some," I said, "If you liked it that much."

"Dr. Lopez can cook? Major Lieutenant Corporal Lopez can cook?" Brittany said loudly. Some other doctors started shushing us.

"Hey, can you guys lower your voices? I'm trying to learn here," some intern said. I flicked him off.

"Learned what that means yet?" I said. Brittany laughed and grabbed my middle finger.

"San!" She laughed and I just smiled at her. Her pinky wrapped around mine and she lead me out of the theatre. I followed her aimlessly to the ER. She said hey to Mercedes before letting go of my pinky.

"Yes," She said. I looked at her confused. She chuckled.

"I would like for you to cook for me," She said, "Some spaghetti or anything you want." I nodded.

"No problem."

* * *

 **A/N: Issa short chapter. Sorry it took so long for an update. I actually started working on another chapter before finishing this one.**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: This is honestly a filler chapter. Introducing more characters in this chapter.**

* * *

It's been two days since I agreed to cook for Brittany but haven't had the chance to do so. The ER has been full since it started snowing in Lima and people are getting colds and some even coming in with frostbite on their … private parts.

I sat at the edge of my bed, clutching a stack of letters I wrote to Quinn during my tour in Afghanistan but never sent. They document my whole experience in Afghanistan. From my first encounter with gunfire, to treating my first roadside IED victims. I grabbed the last letter in the stack. I wrote this letter when I was in the field and I shot and killed a few people for the first time.

 _Dear Quinn,_

 _I took lives today. I'm a surgeon. I save lives. But today, I took 4. It was like my body was acting on pure instinct. Tanaka had me and Kurt go on patrol with some guys today. We were going to visit a neighboring town to help anyone that needed medical assistance. We were in the Humvee when we started taking fire from the front.. Major Zizes told us "Grab your fucking guns and take some fucking cover". We climbed out the humvee and started firing our guns. The sound of our magazines emptying at a rapid pace still shakes my bones. I can't get the sound of the gun fire out of my head. Kurt was in the zone and had already taken down one of the people that ambushed us. I, on the other hand, missed every shot I took. In the corner of my eye, I saw some sudden movements on the right of Kurt. It was another attacker. Kurt was too focused on the firepower coming from the front of us. I froze for a second. The guy picked up his AK47 and aimed it in Kurt's direction. I grabbed my glock and shot at him. After two shots, he was down. The first shot got him in the shoulder and the next shot was directly between the eyes. My heart started to beat faster as I grabbed my M16 and shot down the last 3 people that were still shooting at us. I don't know what happened but I felt myself leave my body as I killed those last 3 people. Taking a life for the first time really changes someone._

 _Everyone patted me on the back and climbed back into the humvee. I followed them. As I got back in, my mind and vision went black. The next thing I know I'm waking up in the medical tent with Kurt next to me._

 _Kurt said I started to freak out and threw my guns to the ground and proceeded to rip off my gear before passing out. He called it my "overheated" moment. I fear that when I get back, I won't be the same person I was. What if when I get back, I can't do anything? Quinn, I don't think I belong here._

 _Sincerely, Santana_

"I knew I wasn't going to be alright," I whispered to myself. I put the letters back in the box and lied back down on my bed. I looked at the clock on my bed. _10:52 p.m._ _I think I'm going to go for a jog._ I threw on my sweatpants, a long sleeve shirt, and my favorite Nike flyknit running shoes. I grabbed my headphones and phone and headed downstairs. My parents were still up and in the kitchen. I walked over to them.

"Coffee at this time? How are you going to sleep?" I asked. My mom smiled and my dad continued to drink his coffee.

"Santanita, we're hispanic. We've been drinking coffee since we were able to walk," She said.

"Coffee is like water to us," My dad said, "We drink it to stay hydrated."

"Where are you going right now?" My mom asked.

"For a run," is all I said.

"At this time?" My dad questioned.

"I need to keep up this physique that the Army shaped," I said. My dad just sighed and started washes his coffee cup.

"Be careful. The news said we're getting 4 more inches of snow tonight," He said.

"Okay." I turned around and left.

* * *

The cold felt great against my body. I didn't even know where I was running to but my legs just kept going. Ozuna's latest song with Cardi B blasted in my ears. I found myself catching my breath in front of the swingset in Jefferson Park. I took my earbuds out and sat down and started swinging slowly. I watched as the snow fell slowly. I missed this time of year. The stillness and serenity that the snowfall brings.

"Do you usually go to parks at this time?" I heard a voice say behind me. I jumped up. It was Brittany. She had her hair up in a bun and had a WMHS sweatshirt on and sweatpants.

"Sorry," She said laughing. I chuckled as she sat on the swing beside me.

"It's okay," I said, "I was in my head."

"Out for a run?" She asked. I nodded.

"You know...this is my first winter. My first time experiencing snow," Brittany said.

"Where are you from?"

"Florida. Fort Lauderdale to be exact."

I hummed in response.

"I like it just not the coldness it brings."

"I love the cold. Afghanistan gets cold but you can't enjoy it when you're wearing a good 15 to 20 pounds of gear on you constantly."

"You must've looked so cute with all that gear on," Brittany said chuckling. I looked at Brittany offended.

"Hey, I didn't look cute. I looked badass," I said. Brittany laughed.

"So...you're on a run too." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yea… not a lot of people out at this time. It's more quiet than jogging in the morning," She said. I hummed in agreement.

"And who wants to get up that early to run," She said.

"Who has time in the morning to go for a run when you have to be at a hospital at the crack of dawn," I said. We both laughed. Brittany checked her watch.

"I have 15 minutes to finish 5 miles and be back home," Brittany said.

"I should be heading back home." We didn't make any effort to move from the swings.

"Would you like to have lunch with me tomorrow?" Brittany said breaking the silence. I just looked at her. Snow started to fall heavily and I drew my attention away from Brittany and towards the sky.

"Or not. I get that you probably have things to do and I'm probably going to have things to do also but I was just thinking we could since nowadays you eat lunch while watching surgeries. I just thought that it could be a pleasant change and I-"

"Britt, chill," I chuckled as I looked back at her. She took a deep breath.

"I would like to but I'm having lunch with one of my Army buddies," I said.

"You're not talking about Kurt, are you?"

I laughed.

"No," I laughed, "I have other friends in the Army. They're coming from Columbus."

"Oh." I got up from the swings.

"I still owe you a meal. I'll call you or text you to come over so I can cook for you," I told her. Brittany smiled.

"You'd need my number for that," Brittany said. I just chuckled and handed her my phone. She took it and entered her number. I reached for my phone but she pulled it away from me.

"Text me as soon as you can so I can have your number as well," She said seriously.

"Scouts honor," I said. She laughed.

"Awesome!" She checked her watch again. "I really gotta go. See ya around, San." She gave me a quick hug before jogging away.

"Bye Britt," I whispered.

* * *

"Santana, can I speak to you?" I looked up at Quinn.

"What can I do for you, Dr. Fabray," I said walking over to Mercedes.

"Drop the formality, San. We need to talk," She said.

"I'm busy right now, Dr. Fabray." Quinn rolled her eyes.

"Can we speak over lunch?" She asked.

"Wouldn't your boyfriend get mad?" I asked.

"Finn isn't my boyf-"

"Don't care. Still busy," I said walking towards a patient.

"We're not done talking," Quinn said after me. I turned to her and just shrugged.

"Hello, I'm-"

"Dr. Lopez?" I turned to see a group of ragtag adults in white coats.

"What the frilly hell is this?" I asked. A tall white guy with dreads raised his hands. I pointed to him.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Joe Hart and we're your interns," He said. I just stared at him.

"Mercedes, can you please take over this check up?" I asked. She nodded. I rounded up the ragtag team and brought them to my office. Once the door was shut, I started.

"A white guy with dreads, a kid in a wheelchair, and spanish looking girl with a pink boa, and a black girl with a super high ponytail like a cheerleader. These are my interns," I said mainly to myself.

"Couldn't find anything wrong with me, I see," High ponytail said. I rolled my eyes.

"What's your name?" I asked her.

"Bree."

"Bri-anna?" I queried.

"No just Bree. Bree Brown," She said.

"Okay. What about the rest?"

"I'm Artie Abrams and the girl with the pink boa is Sugar Motta," Wheelchair boy said. _How the hell am I supposed to teach surgical interns when I can't even step a foot in an OR?_

"How am I supposed to teach you all?" I asked.

"Dr. Lopez, your dad, has informed us that you can't do surgeries at the moment. So right now, you'll teach us sutures and the paperwork side of things," Bree said.

"I'm so excited to become a surgeon!" Sugar yelled.

"First of all, you're not becoming surgeons right now. Secondly, take off that fucking boa! This is a hospital not a fucking tea party with your imaginary friends," I told her, "I'm not nice. If you were hoping to get a nice and easy going Surgeon to teach you shit, you're out of luck here. You will do as you're told and as soon as you're told. If you have any problems with that, tell either Dr. Lopez's cause I honestly do not care. Understand?"

"Yes, I do," Bree said with a flirtatious smile. _That one is going to be trouble._ Everyone else shook their head nervously.

"Go back to the ER and ask Mercedes to give you a file and that'll be your first patient. I'll be supervising each one of you. Don't fuck up," I said. They all left. _I was giving the rejects._

* * *

 **A/N: Might be a time jump in the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed :)**


	9. Chapter 9

"Zizes, I swear I was given the rejects of the interns. They all have fucking problems. Well I guess Joe and Bree seem normal but how the hell am I supposed to put a guy that's in a wheelchair to do a surgery? Or a girl that likes to wear pink boas and blurt out random shit?" I said eating my burger.

"I don't know Santana. This seems like a challenge and you're not the type to turn down a challenge," Zizes said.

"That is probably why my father assigned them to me. A challenge is nothing for a Lopez."

"Do you think he wants you to not be a surgeon anymore?" I just shrugged.

"I would be a failure to him," I started, "We weren't raised to start something and not finish. I always feel like I need to prove my worth to him. My brothers just get to be themselves and my father is pleased."

"Lopez, I've seen what you can do. You are a fucking dope ass surgeon. There's nothing you can't do," She said, "You just need to get back to one hundred percent and you'll be in the OR again." I nodded and popped a fry in my mouth.

"I sure hope that'll be soon."

"Keep going to therapy and working on yourself and it'll be sooner than you expect. When I came back from my first tour, I was a mess. I couldn't even handle when people slammed car doors. I stayed inside and wore ear plugs cause all the sound reminded me of Iraq. My family was worried for me and helped me get a therapist and when I went for my first few sessions, I was annoyed. The process, in my opinion, wasn't fast enough. I needed to get better. But once I fully engaged myself into the session, I saw change. I was able to go outside without ear plugs and then I was able to deal with loud and unsuspecting noises like a regular person. I was getting better."

"Why did you do 3 more tours after that? After knowing how bad your first tour got you?"

"Because I love the military. After the first time dealing with my PTSD, I knew proper ways to cope and adjust to the civilian life," Zizes says, "You got this Lopez. You're strong as fuck."

* * *

Tuesday rolled around quicker than usual. I sat on the couch in Sue's office.

"What do you want to talk about today?" I asked her. Sue shrugged her shoulders and continued texting.

"What's on your mind?"

"A lot of things."

"Like?"

"I don't know. Just things," I said. She nodded. We sat in silence for fifteen minutes.

"Are you free tomorrow Santana?" Sue asked, breaking the silence.

"Well, I do have work and this is the only day I really am allowed to have off."

"Talk to your father and meet me at this place tomorrow," She handed me a small card, "Obviously the traditional route of therapy isn't working so we need to go off the grid for our sessions." I looked at the card.

"A gun range? I haven't held a gun since Afghanistan."

"No one said you have to hold one," She winked and walked towards the door, "Alright see you tomorrow afternoon."

"See ya."

* * *

I was in my room trying to find a good casual outfit to wear when everyone comes over. There was a knock on the door.

"Santanita," My mom said, "Your father and I are leaving to Breadstix. Are you sure you don't want to join us?"

"I'm sure. I'm having a few work friends over for dinner," I told her.

"You're cooking?"

"Yea, why is that a surprise?" I asked chuckling.

"Hija, last time I remember, you can hardly cook toast without a fire bursting out."

"Army taught me a few things. I cook okay now...If I follow the recipe exactly." We both burst out laughing. My mom walked over to me and gave me a hug and a kiss on the forehead.

"I talked to your father about tomorrow. He said you can go."

"But?"

"But you have to make up the hours by doing a graveyard shift."

"A graveyard shift in Wednesday and a regular shift on Thursday?" My mom nodded.

"So I'm going to be running on zero hours of sleep till Thursday night?" She nodded again.

"Like an intern. Okay, I can do that." There was honking outside.

"Your father is so damn impatient. You should wear your red cocktail dress. You always look stunning in that dress," My mom said. I smiled.

"I think I will." There was more honking coming from outside.

"Alright, love you and tell Kurt and Brittany I said hi," She said kissing me again on the cheek and leaving my room.

"Love you too!" I shouted after her.

* * *

Mercedes was the first one to show up. Then Kurt, Rachel, and a guy with a bunch of gel in his hair.

"Hi, I'm Blaine. I work in the NICU at the hospital. Thanks for inviting me over," He said grabbing a glass of wine.

"I never invited you. Rachel did but you're welcome...I guess."

Brittany still wasn't here. I walked over to the kitchen to check on the rice and the chicken. I poured myself one more glass of wine.

"Santanaaa," Kurt hissed, "That guy! The one with the gel! That's the guy that I slept with before we-"

"That's the guy?!" I screamed. Kurt covered my mouth and shushed me.

"Can you be any louder? How do I look? Is my hair okay? I should've worn something more cute," Kurt rambled. I laughed.

"Kurt, your little pink button up is cute on you. Go talk to him," I said. Kurt squealed and walked back over to the living room. I checked the food once more before heading to the back patio. I pulled out a cigar.

"I was wondering when you were gonna come out here."

"Holy fucking shit!" I screeched. I dropped my lighter and clutched my chest.

Brittany laughed.

"Has anyone told you it's impolite to scare someone with PTSD?" I asked catching my breath.

"Sorry," Brittany said. She was wearing slim black dress pants and a light powder blue button up tucked into the pants.

"How long have you been here?"

"Not too long. I was gonna come through the front door but I wanted to smoke a bit before going inside."

"Smoke what?" Brittany gave me a look.

"It's medicinal. I get headaches." I rolled my eyes and chuckled.

"You look beautiful," Brittany said.

"Thanks you," I said shyly. Brittany smiled.

"Anyways, I got you a present," Brittany said taking out a small box from her pocket, "I know it's not easy getting treatment and whatnot but this is just saying that getting help when you really need it isn't a bad thing." She handed me a small velvet box. I opened it and saw it was a bracelet.

"Woah," was all I could get out. It was hold and it had the word "strength" written in cursive.

"Britt, I can't have this. This looks expensive," I said.

"I got it as a gift and I want to pass it on to you," She said, "Plus I got it tattooed on me." I looked at her.

"Where?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," She giggled. I smirked and looked back down to the bracelet. Brittany grabbed the box and took the bracelet out.

"Whenever you're feeling weak or just scared, this should give you some strength to get through whatever you're going through," Brittany whispered, putting the bracelet on my left wrist.

"This-this...wow. Thank you," was all I could get out. I gave Brittany a hug.

"We should probably go inside now." I released Brittany from my hug and looked down at the bracelet.

"It looks good on you," Brittany commented.

I looked up and saw how close me and Brittany were. I was lost for words, again. Brittany giggled and interlocked our pinkies.

"Come on, your guests are waiting," she said leading me inside.


	10. Chapter 10

**Somewhat a filler**

* * *

Quinn is here. Quinn was here with Finn. Who the fuck invited Quinn AND Finn?

"Hope you don't mind that I invited Quinn and Finn," Rachel said walking back to the living room. I glared at her. Kurt and I finished placing all the food in the middle of the table.

"Why the hell did I invite Rachel?" I whispered harshly to Kurt.

"I'm pretty sure you can survive Quinn for 45 minutes, Santana," Kurt said adjusting the plates.

"Why would she bring Finn? She could've brought absolutely ANYONE else but she brought the guy who she cheated on me with," I said. I felt my heart starting to beat faster. Kurt looked over at me.

"Santana, calm down," He said walking over to me, "Deep breaths, San. Deep breaths." I took a deep breath in. I looked over to the living room, where everyone was smiling and laughing. I saw Quinn talking to Finn and Rachel. I saw Sam and Mercedes laughing. And then there's Brittany, floating from person to person. She looked over from Sam to me. She gave me a timid wave.

"So…" Kurt started, "Brittany…"

"What about her?"

"She's cute."

"And I just got out of a 20 year on-and-off again relationship with a girl I thought I was going to marry and I'm suffering from PTSD," I snapped.

"Woah Snix, calm down," Kurt said, "I wasn't saying marry her. You need to get laid." If I were to be drinking something, I probably would've spat it all over the table.

"What!?" I whipped around to Kurt.

"Seems like everything is set. Is it okay to come sit down now?" Rachel asked. I glared at her. Kurt sighed and nodded.

"Yea Rachel, everything is set. Can you call everyone in?" Kurt asked. Rachel smiled and went to gather everyone. I sat down at the head of the table and watched as everyone filed in and found a seat. Kurt was at my right and Brittany found her way sitting on my left side. At the other end of the table was Quinn. I stared at her as I took a sip of my wine. _Ugh, why did she have to show up. She could've politely declined Rachel's unnecessary invitation._ My Phone dinged.

 **Quinn:** Can we talk later?

I looked up from my phone to Quinn. I shook my head.

"Alright, I slaved over the stove to cook this food. So dig in," I said smiling. Everyone grabbed a bowl of food, took some and passed the bowl to the next person.

"Food looks great, San," Brittany said. I smiled.

"Thanks," I said shyly.

"Food tastes good as well, Santana," Finn said with a mouthful.

"I usually like my food spicy but wasn't sure if you liked spicy food," I told Brittany, ignoring Finn.

"The spicier the better," Brittany said.

"I'll remember that for next time," I said taking a bite out of my food.

"Next time?"

"Uh...yeah. I'll c-cook for you anytime," I stuttered. Brittany winked at me. Kurt kicked my leg under the table.

"What the fu-"

"Fun times we're having, right?" Kurt cut me off, "Brittany, how are you liking the food?"

"I love rice. I love chicken. The little vegetables you put in the rice makes it taste way better than just regular yellow rice. You've got to teach me how to make rice because I cannot cook to save my life. I can perform a craniectomy with my eyes closed but god forbid I try and cook something," Brittany said.

"Thank you, Chef."

Everyone started laughing.

"Thanks for having a vegan option for me, Santana," Rachel said.

"I did have to google some recipes for the tofu but it was no problem," I said.

"This is probably the best cooked tofu, I've ever had," She said.

"Where did you learn to cook?" Finn asked.

"Afghanistan."

"Afghanistan."

Kurt and I looked at each other and busted out laughing.

"Those MRE's were nasty, so on the days we visited towns and all that I chilled with the women and they taught some basics of cooking," I said.

"How did you speak with them," Sam asked.

"We had a translator."

"Multiple translators," Kurt added.

"That's so cool," Sam said, "It must've been a cool experience. Learning from the natives." I nodded.

"It was. If I were to be called for service again, I wouldn't hesitate to go." I said.

"I wanted to go to the military after high school," Finn said, "But my mom told me kids that are too lazy to do anything after high school go to the military."

"Finn," Quinn warned. That got me interested in talking to Finn.

"Why didn't you join?" I asked him.

"And get shot at and possibly die? Nah, I passed on that."

"Not every servicemen see combat. For me and Kurt it was different because we were combat medics," I said. "Did you take the ASVAB?"

Finn nodded.

"What was your score?"

"A 34. The recruiting officer told me I did better than most people that have taken the ASVAB," He boasted. Kurt and I just exchanged looks.

"What was your score on this ASVAB thingy, Kurt?" Blaine asked.

"A 78? I think. I don't even remember," Kurt said, "It's been so many years since I took it."

"And you, Santana?"

"Santana was nearly a perfect score," Kurt said, "She studied her butt off for that exam."

"What did you get?" Brittany asked me.

"A 97," Quinn and I said in unison.

"Oh shit. What's the highest you can get on that test?" Rachel asked.

"A 99," I said, "They wouldn't let me retake it. I very much wanted that perfect score." Everyone chuckled.

"What's your rank?" Brittany asked.

"Petty Officer Lopez and Hummel!" Finn yelled excitedly.

"Finn, they're in the Army not the Navy," Quinn said.

"Introducing Major Santana Lopez," Kurt said pointing to me.

"Introducing Captain Kurt Hummel," I said pointing to Kurt.

"Santana's rank is above mine. She has always been in charge," Kurt said. I laughed.

"But Kurt wears the pants of this relationship," I said blowing him a kiss

"Why the army?" Rachel asked.

"We went to all the branches recruiters and the Army was the only one that really stuck with us," Kurt said. I took a sip from my wine.

"Did you kill anyone?" Finn asked. I started to choke. Brittany patted my back.

"Finn, let's not talk about that," Quinn said.

"Did you guys get injured? Like shot at?" Finn continued ignoring Quinn.

"I don't want to talk about that part," I said. Brittany continued to rub circles on my back. My breathing was getting labored.

"Was your first kill like crazy brutal?" He started to imitate the sounds of a machine gun.

I jumped up, knocking my chair over.

"Excuse me for a bit," I said, walking to the back patio.

"You're such a fucking idiot," I heard Quinn say. It was snowing, when I got outside. _Should've brought a coat._

"Sorry about...him," Quinn said.

"It's fine," I said.

"San…"

"What do you expect from me right now, Quinn?" I asked.

"I honestly don't know. For us to be civil towards each other and talk about what happened," Quinn sighed.

"You wanna talk? Let's talk. Let's talk about how you cheated on me. When I really needed someone in my corner, you just got scared, left, and slept with an ex," I said.

"Santana, don't make me out to be the bad guy," She said.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I sarcastically said, "Don't want to make you seem like you cheated on me when I'm struggling to stay sane."

"I'm sorry. San-"

"You're the only person I have ever dated. The only person I have ever loved," I said, "I never saw my life without being by your side, Quinn. This isn't something we can just talk it out. You hurt me in the worst way and right now I can't handle being around you."

"You need space."

"Some space would be amazing," I sighed.

* * *

Quinn ended up leaving with Finn once we walked back inside.

"Santana, I just want to apologize on Finn's behalf. He is idiot and he can't control it," Blaine said.

"He's ignorant," was all I could say. I could see Brittany staring at me from the corner of my eye. She tapped on the bracelet and she gave me. I smirked.

"Santana. I don't think I can eat tofu that isn't cooked by you ever again," Rachel said. I laughed.

"Rach, you're gonna give her a complex," Kurt said.

"Nah, she can keep going," I said. Everyone laughed.


	11. Chapter 11

I flinched at the sound of gunshots.

"Santana! Glad you could make it," Sue said walking up to me. I hadn't walked inside yet. The gun range had an indoor and an outdoor range.

"Remember, you don't have to even hold a gun," She said. I nodded.

"I know," I croaked out. She walked inside first. I took 2 deep breaths before heading inside. Sue was talking to an employee.

"I was thinking about going with that gun right there. What do you think?" She said pointing to a gun. It was a Glock Model 22.

"It's a pretty standard gun. Not too much kick," I told her. Sue nodded.

"I think I'm going to get that one," Sue told the lady behind the counter.

"And for you, sweetie," She asked. I looked at the wall of guns. _Just pick one._

"I'll take the AR-19," I said, "And the Glock 22."

"The AR is a hard hitting rifle. You sure you can handle that?" She asked.

"I believe so," I said. She put the AR on the counter, alongside some ammo. I stared at the gun.

"Can we get someone to carry these to our little shooting area?" Sue asked.

"No problem," the lady said. Sue tapped me on the shoulder, knocking me out of my trance.

"Come on," She said. I mindlessly followed her.

Sue had taken the liberty and gone first in the range. She had her targets set up and one of the instructors was teaching her the basics of gun safety at the range. I sat in the background, with the ear muffs already on. I flinched each time someone fired their gun.

"Sue, you sure this isn't too much stimuli for me. Hearing the guns go off so often?" I asked. She turned to me.

"How are you feeling?"

"I can't breathe," I said truthfully. My own instructor walked over to me.

"We have a water fountain in the shop area," He told me. I nodded.

"Come on, I'll show you the way."

I followed him. I rushed to the fountain and gulped the water down.

"How long did you serve?" He asked. I looked over at him.

"Huh?"

"I can tell you're a veteran," He said rolling up his sleeve to show me his 'Semper Fidelis' tattoo.

"Few years in Afghanistan. Army." I told him. "How could you tell?"

"No woman that looks like you, picks an AR-19 to shoot. I took a wild guess and assumed this wouldn't be your first time shooting one."

I chuckled.

"It's a good gun. Saved me and my friends a few times. I'm Santana Lopez." We started walking back to the range.

"Azimio Adams." I shook his hand.

"Afghanistan did some damage?"

"I got a bum shoulder, a slight limp, and raging PTSD. It did some damage," I said. Sue was still shooting. _I'm pretty sure she took some of my mags_. I could hear her laughing maniacally. I flinched.

"I was in Iraq," Azimio started, "My humvee got hit with a roadside IED. The next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital with some brain damage and missing my right leg." He lifted his right pant leg to show me his prosthetic leg.

"For the next few weeks, I had to relearn how to do everything. How to walk, talk, feed myself, and wipe my own ass. It was horrible," He said. He sat down on the bench outside of the range. I leaned against the wall and just listened to him.

"I also had PTSD and all the fun stuff that came with it. The hallucinations, night terrors, and depression. After I got out the hospital, I attempted to kill myself." My breath got caught in my throat.

"Multiple times. I eventually got myself committed and after multiple calls to the VA, I was able to speak to someone about getting treated for my PTSD."

"Who was your therapist? If you don't mind me asking," I said.

"It was actually Sue," He said. I stared at him.

"Is this why she wanted me to come here?" I asked.

"She has a method to her madness," he said, "She texted me like last week. Saying she was coming through and she had someone she wanted me to talk to. I wasn't expecting someone like you."

"Well, most aren't expecting me to have any type of military background. Are you better?" I asked him.

"With my PTSD? I wouldn't say it is completely cured but it's way more manageable. I have my ups and downs," He told.

"How did Sue help?"

"She basically forced me to confront my fears. It took me 3 years of therapy for me to hold a gun again and it took me a few months after that to shoot one. I couldn't even wear my Class B uniform or my dress blues. Sue had me wear them for a whole week. She broke into my house and stole all my clothes and I couldn't wear anything but them."

"Wow, she's crazy," I said.

"Hell yea."

"Does she expect me to hold a gun today?" I asked. Azimio shrugged.

"She wants you to move at your own pace. She will push but she knows you are the only one to make the major decisions."

I exhaled a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

* * *

We sat outside the range, swapping war stories.

"I had this one guy super glue hit butt to one of the toilets because the toilet area was the coolest place on the camp and he didn't want to do his rounds," Azimio said. I buckled over laughing.

Sue came out of the range. Her hair was a wild mess.

"Adams! When did you guys get a M240 gun! That was not here the last time I came," Sue yelled.

"It's a rental. Hopefully, you didn't have to much fun with it," Azimio said taking out her ear plugs.

"It was exhilarating!" She yelled, "Santana, you wanna try?"

"Maybe, next time."

"Will you just hold it?" She said handing me the Glock 22.

"Sue… I-I don't think-"

"There's no ammo," Sue said. My hand was shaking as I reached for the gun. I grabbed the gun. And no the world didn't cave in. And no, my hand did not catch on fire. Sue smirked.

"Okay, see you next Tuesday. Back in my office. Same place and time," She said walking out. Azimio walked into the range.

"Can I bother you for a few rounds?" He asked, "I've been told I was the sharpest shot in the marines."

"Azimio…"

"I'll buy you whatever alcohol you want."

"I don't want you to lose all your money," I said, "I gotta pace myself." Azimio smiled.

"Don't be a stranger now," He said.

* * *

It was 5 o'clock by the time I got home. I jumped into my scrubs and raced to the hospital.

I walked into the ER and Mercedes was just leaving.

"Hey Santana, have fun with the night shift," She said, "I think Kurt left you some food in the lounge and there's a thermos of coffee on the desk over there."

"Thanks 'Cedes. Imma miss you," I said. "Who's the head ER nurse for tonight?"

"There really isn't one. You have a few nurses here and there that'll help but you're driving this boat by yourself," Mercedes said.

"Oh great. I'm the captain of the Titanic."

"At least you have them," Mercedes said pointing to the desk. I looked over and saw two of my interns.

"You sure you can't pull a double today?" I plead. Mercedes laughed.

"Hell no," She said leaving towards the parking garage. I walked over to them

"Good evening, Dr. Lopez," Dread head guy said handing my lab coat. I took it and put it on.

"Evening…."

"Joe. Dr. Hart. Whichever is easier to remember."

"And I'm Bree, remember?" I looked over to her.

"Yea sure. Anyways, I expect this night to be slow. So attend to whoever is here and if you need help. Ask 3 before me. That means ask three other doctors or nurses before you come bother me with it."

They both nodded before leaving. I sat in my regular chair and drank some coffee. _This is going to be a long night._

* * *

The ER was surprising dead for ten at night. Bree and Joe were sitting next to me, playing tic-tac-toe.

"This is boring," Bree said.

"Tell me about it," Joe commented.

"How did you guys get stuck on night shift with me?"

"I volunteered," Bree said smiling.

"And she volunteered me," Joe said. I chuckled.

"What about everyone else?" They both exchanged looks.

"What? What was that look?" I asked. Bree bit her lip.

"Everyone else is not exactly happy… that you're our attending…" Joe started.

"They really wanna dive head first into surgeries and cut someone open before learning anything before that," Bree finished.

"Hmmm," was all I could get out.

* * *

The clock was ticking closer to witching hour and that's when things started picking up in the E.R. The Ambulance rushed in with someone on a stretcher. I jogged over to them, checking the vitals of the guy they were bringing in.

"What do we got?" I asked as we transferred him onto one of the beds.

"Eighteen year-old Male. Found passed out with throw up on himself in a back alley in Lima heights," The paramedic informed me.

"Dr. Brown, start an IV drip. What did the throw up look like?"

Bree rushed over to me.

"Looked like normal throw up to me." I rolled my eyes.

"Possible drug overdose?" I asked the Paramedic. Bree successfully got the IV in his arm.

"No drugs found in the vicinity." Out of nowhere the teen started to seize. I rushed into action.

"Dr. Brown, I need 20cc of Clobazam," I said calmly. She handed me a syringe and I made sure it was clobazam before injecting it into his IV. He started to calm down.

"We're going to have him admitted. Schedule him for a CT scan first thing in the morning," I told Joe and Bree, "Right now, I need some blood work. Dr. Brown, you will do the blood work. Dr. Hart, we have 3 hours till the labs open and I want this guy to be the first one to get scanned. In an hour or so, I want you to go down there and wait till they open but for now I need you to keep an eye on the kid in case he seizes again."

"What will you be doing?" He asked me.

"I will be working on a diagnosis while we sit around and wait," I said, "So far we have symptoms to work with. The faster we get the blood work back the faster we can solve what is happening to this kid." They nodded and ran off in different directions.

* * *

"Dr. Lopez, I got his blood work back," Bree said. I was standing in the middle of my office with a white board with the symptoms written down on it.

"What's his white blood cell count?" I asked her.

"Below four thousand," Bree said.

"Damn it. Low white blood cells means an autoimmune issue," I thought aloud.

"But that doesn't account for the seizure, the throw up, or that he passed out," Bree said stepping closer to me, "Those symptoms point towards an issue or infection in the brain." I looked at my watch.

"It's almost six a.m. Go find Joe and Dr. Pierce and she'll show you how to look at the CT scans. If there's something up with his brain, she'll will see it," I told her, "After that we need some patient history. We need to find out if this has happened before."

"Alrighty." As soon as she left, Wheelchair boy and Ms. Pink Boa entered my office.

"Thanks for joining us last night," I said turning to them.

"No problem," Ms. Pink Boa said gladly.

"Sugar, that was sarcasm," Wheelchair boy said. She frowned.

"Oh. I have Asperger's'. I can't pick up on those types of things," She said.

"Wow. Okay. Anyways, Joe and Bree are doing a CT Scan on a patient with Dr. Pierce. So after they're done with that, you two misfits will be collecting patient history so that they can sleep for an hour or so."

"An hour on patient history?"

"Yes and be thorough..."

"Artie," He said finishing my sentence.

"Sugar!" She shouted. I rolled my eyes.

"Get out my office and go down to the labs. They should be almost done. You're gonna take the patient back to his room and do your part," I said. Artie muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?"

"I said Dr. Pierce's and Dr. Fabray's interns have already stepped foot in an OR," He said.

"Doesn't look like you've stepped your foot anywhere in a long time, why are you worrying about it now?" I said. He looked offended. Sugar pushed him out of my office.

* * *

I was half asleep on my couch when I heard my office door creak open.

"Santana..." I heard someone whisper. I groaned.

"San...Santana. Wakey wakey," they whispered again. I opened of my eyes and saw blue eyes staring down at me.

"What do you want, Brittany?" I mumbled.

"To tell you the results of the CT scan on your patient."

"Can it wait 30 more minutes?" I asked turning over on the couch.

"No, cause I have a surgery in 20 minutes," Brittany said. I turned back over to face her.

"Okay, tell me while I rest my eyes," I said to her. She giggled.

"The CT showed some damage in the brain but it looked like it was from over time. Meaning, this is probably not his first seizure."

"Hmm, okay. Write that on the board over there," I said. I opened my eyes slightly to see Brittany walk over to the board and write on it.

"Have any ideas on what's wrong with the kid?" Brittany asked.

"No, waiting on some patient history before making assumptions."

"He could just have regular old epilepsy," Brittany said staring at the board.

"Nah, I have a feeling it's not just regular epilepsy. Probably a form of it but it's not your normal epilepsy," I mumbled.

"Well, when you find tell me," Brittany said, "Maybe over lunch, today?" She sounded unsure of herself. Like she was scared to suggest lunch.

"Yea, no problem. Lunch sounds good," I said, my eyes fluttering shut

"Oh I brought you a bagel with some cream cheese cause I figured you haven't eaten breakfast yet," She said, "It's on your desk." I mumbled out another "okay."

"See you later, San," and with that I heard my office door shut again.

* * *

 **AN: I wanna crank out longer chapters it's just gonna take me longer to write them. So that means the uploads won't be consistent. Not a lot of Brittana interaction in this chapter but next chapter they'll be waaaayyy more.**

 **Also, after 2 YEARS, I finally updated my other story, Sunshine during the Storm. I don't care for it but I can't leave it unfinished. Check it out if you'll like.**

 **Question:**

 **Do you guys like the "case" aspect of this chapter? I'm thinking about doing more in the upcoming chapters.**

 **Alright thanks for reading this chapter. Make sure to leave a nice and long review. :)**


	12. Chapter 12

"The parents came. We were able to get more information about his medical history from them," Artie said, rolling up to the ER desk.

"The kid couldn't give any information?" I asked grabbing a file.

"When asked about if he has ever experienced any other seizures he told me that he couldn't remember. He could barely answer simple questions ," Artie said.

"The kid is retar-"

"Sugar..." Artie warned.

"Nah, let her finish," I said.

"The kid is displaying signs of mental retardation," She stated.

"How so?" I asked turning to her.

"He has delayed speech. When I asked him how he made it to Lima Height, he said he 'got lost' but that was after a good few minutes of him trying to find the words to say." Sugar said. Artie handed me his newly updated file.

"Well, Tristan Sandro, I think I know what's wrong with you," I said.

* * *

"Hello Tristan, I am Dr. Lopez. How are you feeling today?" I asked walking into his room. His parents were in the corner on their phones. Tristan just stared at me.

"I good," He said. I nodded and turned to the parents.

"So, how long has Tristan had epilepsy?" I asked them. His mother didn't even look up from her phone when she told me 'since birth'.

"And from all the doctor visits for his varied seizures not one doctor told you that it was abnormal for him to have different types of seizures?" I asked. The father looked up from his phone.

"Tris is different. He's special."

"He's mentally retarded due to the seizures he's experienced since birth," I deadpanned. That tore the mother's eyes from her phone.

"He just has a harder time learning things," She said defensively. I rolled my eyes.

"He has Lennox-Gastaut Syndrome. It's a rare and severe form of epilepsy. Usually starts around the age of 2 or so. Kids with this rare form of epilepsy have a learning difficulties and important developmental delays such as speaking, eating, and going to the bathroom by themselves. Does that sound like Tristan to you?"

The parents shared the same look.

"How did the other doctors not see that?" His dad asked. I shrugged.

"The other doctors were idiots and didn't take the time to see what was actually wrong with him. They just wanted to diagnose the first thing they saw without taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture. I see that he already takes medicine for epilepsy but for LGS, he is going to need a different epilepsy medicine cocktail."

"More drugs?" His mother asked.

"Cannabidiol, Clobazam, Felbamate, and Depakote is the cocktail we're going to have him on. This concoction should help his seizures decrease big time," I said writing the scripts to each one. I handed them to the dad.

"You said can-cannabidiol. Does that have any um- have any um...Is that marijuana?" The mother stutters. I chuckled.

"It is a chemical in the cannabis sativa plant, aka marijuana, but cannabidiol will not affect Tristan like if he's smoking weed or anything. It actually reduces the harmful affects of the THC," I informed her. She nods.

"Okay, come back in a few weeks. I'd like to do a check up on Tristan, to see if this cocktail is working for him," I told the parents.

"No problem, Dr. Lopez," The dad said going over to Tristan. I watched as his dad gave him a kiss on the forehead and a hug.

"Love you, Tris. We're gonna take good care of you," he said. Tristan looked at his dad before hugging him back with a big smile on his face. I smiled at the scene in front of me before leaving the room.

* * *

I was sitting in Breadstix, nervously waiting for Brittany to arrive. _This is not a date. This is not a date._ _This is not a date._

A flash of long blonde hair caught my eye. It was Brittany rushing towards my table. I stood up, unsure how to greet her.

"Sorry, the craniotomy took longer than I anticipated," She said pulling me into a hug. I stood there, awkwardly, with my hands hovering around Brittany.

"It's no problem. I haven't been here long," I said as she released me. _Lies, I've been here for the past 20 minutes. 10 minutes just standing outside, trying to smoke away my nerves._

"Wow, you need to learn how to hug people," She said chuckling. She sat down and I followed. A lady that looked like she was in her mid forties, walked over to us.

"Hello, my name is Francine, and I will be your waitress for today. What can I get for y'all?" She asked.

"I'll take a Sprite and some spaghetti Bolognese," Brittany said smiling.

"I'll just take a water and a house salad," I said handing her the menus.

"What dressing would you like with you salad, sweetie?"

"If you guys have bleu cheese, I'll take that. If not I'll take a raspberry vinaigrette."

"Oh, and some breadsticks. Can't forget the breadsticks," Brittany said excitedly. Francine smiled at Brittany.

"I'll be right back with your drinks and your breadsticks," Francine said. Once she left, silence fell upon me and Brittany.

"How was your case?" She asked me.

"Turns out the kid had undiagnosed LGS. I gave the parents a mixture of medicines to give him to treat the seizures and told them to come back in a few weeks so I can do a check up," I said arranging and rearranging my spoons and forks. Brittany just nodded.

"You know...I'm curious," Brittany said.

"Curious about what?"

"How you work the Operating Room? How you command it," Brittany said staring at me.

"Honestly when I'm in an OR, I'm in a different state of mind. I only see me, the patient, and a trauma that needs to be fixed."

"Seems very Santana-like," Brittany said laughing. I smiled.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked.

"You are so centered and focused. The determination vibes you give off is so similar to your dad."

I groaned at that.

"That's not what I was expecting you to say...at all."

"It's a good thing though. Your dad is a great doctor," Brittany said.

"He is a great doctor but I will never be like him," I said, "I feel like me going into the army was his biggest upset. Plus, coming back all fucked up makes me his biggest failure."

"San, you're not fucked up. Or a failure," Brittany said reaching across the table and grabbing my hands. I just looked at our intertwined hands. I felt a blush rise onto my cheeks.

"Are you blushing, Santana?" She asked. I looked at her.

"Latin people don't blush."

"Yeah, okay sure," She giggled.

She was staring at me, inquisitively. I felt small under her gaze.

"You're making me nervous," I said.

"Seems like I do that often. Why?"

"Um...I don't know. You're really beautiful and that makes me nervous, I guess?"

"But you dated Quinn and from what I have seen, Quinn is absolutely stunning. Did she make you nervous?" She asked. I rolled my eyes at the mention of Quinn's name.

"I knew Quinn for a long time. I didn't have time to be nervous around her. We were... are one of the same. We were friends before we got together so we were past the nervous stage," I said. Francine came back with our drinks and breadsticks.

"Sometimes I find myself being nervous and shy around you, Santana," She confesses. I chuckled.

"Really? Cause it doesn't show," I said taking a sip of my water.

"Yea it's cause you're really sexy and such a dominate woman, and your lips are look so soft. Sometimes I wonder how they would feel against mine," She said casually. I started to choke on my water.

"Oh shit," Brittany said jumping out of her chair and patting my back.

"I'm fine. I'm fine," I wheezed out. Brittany sat back down.

"Are you sure? Cause I know a doctor that knows the mouth to mouth resuscitation pretty well," She said smirking.

"I'm breathing pretty fine right now," I said taking a deep breath in.

"Well you never know when you might need it," Brittany said. I chuckled.

"You're such a flirt," I said taking a bite out of the breadsticks.

"A flirty neurosurgeon who also has a crush on you, San." I started choking again. She chuckled and got up and started patting my back again. I grabbed my water and took a big gulp of it.

"You have a what?"

"A crush. You are obviously attractive and I have eyes. So...," Brittany said.

"I wanna take you out on a date," She said. Francine came back with our food.

"Thank you, Francine," Brittany said.

"No problem," Francine said smiling and turning around to leave us be. I ate some salad.

"Britt, you don't want to date me."

"And why is that?" Brittany looked at me perplexed.

"I'm not good for you. I wouldn't be good for you."

"I don't believe that, San," Brittany said looking down at her food, "And I don't think you believe that as well."

I just shrugged.

"What's not good about you?" She asked.

"Everything. I'm not a good doctor. I'm not a good person. I'm just not good."

"Bullshit. I call bullshit because I think you're absolutely amazing. Not everyone joins the army, goes to Afghanistan to be a combat doctor, and come back alive. Santana, you're way above 'good' in my opinion. You're so much more than that. San, you're a fucking great doctor and a such a beautiful woman," Brittany said.

I chuckled. Brittany intertwined our hands again.

"Can we at least see what can happen? Let's not even discuss 'what ifs'?" Brittany asked me.

"Britt..."

"I'm not gonna run away," She said, "I like you, San. Like _like_ you. Just one date. That's all I'm asking."

"One date?"

"Just one."

I gave Brittany a small smile. Brittany smiled at me and ducked her head shyly.

"Okay."

* * *

Brittany and I walked back to the hospital. Our hands brushing against each other, like teenagers.

"So, how is Friday?" Brittany asked as we entered the ER.

"Friday is good," I said. Brittany did a little dance.

"Alrighty, I gotta get to planning it," Brittany gave me a peck on the cheek before leaving. I walked over to the desk that Mercedes was sitting behind. She was giving me a look.

"What?"

"Don't "What?" me! You and Brittany? When did that happen?" She asked, "Like I knew Britt has had a crush on you since you got here but damn girl! I didn't know you liked her as well.

"First of all, there is not a Brittany and I because we haven't gone on a date."

"Well, are you?" She asked.

"Friday." Mercedes clapped her hands and laughed.

"This is going to be good. I gotta call Kurt about this," She said picking up the phone.

"No!" I said grabbing the phone, "I don't want anyone to know."

"Well if you don't tell anyone, Brittany surely will," Mercedes said. I sighed and handed the phone back to her. She smiled but put the phone down.

"I'll keep it as a secret... for now," Mercedes said. I mouth 'thank you'. I walked towards my office. Quinn was in my office.

"What are you doing in here?" I asked her.

"I need your help. I have this patient that is displaying different types of symptoms and I can't pinpoint a diagnosis," She said.

"Find someone else," I told her putting back my bag and putting on my lab coat.

"San..."

"Dr. Fabray."

"I need your assistance on this. Something is really wrong with this kid. Santana, I am at my wits end," She said. I scoffed.

"What are the symptoms?" I asked.

"Stiff neck but only when they turn their heads from side to side. Blood in the mouth coming from their digestive track but I stuck an endoscopic camera down their throat and found no bleeding." Quinn said.

"How old is the patient?"

"She's 13."

"Do a bone marrow biopsy to check for bone cancer," I said walking out my office.

"Cancer? How did you get cancer from what I told you?" Quinn said following me.

"I have a hunch," I said.

"A hunch? Santana, I can't check for bone cancer off of a hunch."

Bree, Joe and Sugar were looking over charts at the circulation desk.

"Do you want me to help?"

"Yes," She sighed.

"Do the biopsy," I said to her. Quinn looked angry.

"Santana..."

"Take Bree with you. She needs to learn how to do a biopsy," I said taking a chart from Bree.

"Hello Dr. Fabray, I'm Bree Brown," She said.

"Come on newbie," She said walking towards the peds ward. I rolled my eyes at Quinn's behavior before sitting down next to Mercedes. _Hopefully this day goes by quickly._


	13. Chapter 13

"No cancer," Quinn said barging into my office.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"The biopsy came back negative for the bone cancer."

"Hmmm," I continued to look at the files in front of me.

"Santana!" She snatched the file from my hands, "There is something terribly wrong with this girl and I asked for your help and you have me running these unnecessary tests!"

I just stared at her.

"Lemme think for a quick second," I said taking my phone out of my pocket and opening candy crush.

"Candy crush is helping you think? Un-fucking-believable! You are unbelievable. Either you help me or stop wasting my time so I can find someone who will help me. You are so aggravating and immature. Whatever is going on between us needs to be set aside because something is seriously wrong with this girl and CANDY CRUSH ISN'T GOING TO HELP!"

I passed the level as Quinn continued to rant and yell at me.

"What does she do?"

"What?"

"What does she do?" I repeated.

"She's on a co-ed competitive swim team."

"Take me to the girl. I know what is wrong." I said throwing on my lab coat.

"Hello Karina, I'm Dr. Lopez. How are you feeling today?"

"Okay, I guess," she said. I nodded. I walked out of the room and grabbed an ultrasound machine and some gel.

"Can you do me a favor and lift up your shirt. I'm going to apply this gel on to your stomach, okay?" I asked.

"Santana, Why are yo-"

"Shhh." I applied the gel and pressed the transducer probe to her stomach.

"Santana, there is nothing there," Quinn said.

"Uh-huh. There is something. Take a look," I said pointing to a little moving blob on the ultrasound machine.

"Pregnant?"

"Pregnant."

"Pregnant!" Karina exclaimed.

"That's what happens when you do the horizontal tango with one of the other boys on your swim team," I said turning the machine off.

"How does that explain her symptoms?" Quinn asked.

"Pregnancy can cause an array of chemical and hormonal imbalances." I started, "You can choose to tell your parents or not. Under Ohio law, it's your choice to either keep the baby or terminate it."

"Dr. Fabray, what should I do?" Karina asked.

"Alright, that's my cue to leave. Whatever choice you make, make sure it's going to make you happy, Karina." I said before leaving.

* * *

 _"I've been without sex for about 13 months now. My left hand is getting sore and it feels weird with my right," A soldier complained behind me. Kurt and I were eating our lunch with about 40 other soldiers. Kurt and I exchanged looks._

 _"Puckerman shut the fuck up," another soldier said._

 _"I think my dick is gonna fall off from not being used." The table of soldiers groaned._

 _"Puck, if you don't shut the hell up. I'm going to hit you with my apple."_

 _"Try me, bitch boy," This Puckerman guy said. I felt something hard hit my back._

 _"Santana, chill," Kurt said. I got up angrily._

 _"What the fuck!" I shouted at the guys at the table behind me._

 _"Sorry, Doc. I was aiming for him," A soldier said pointing to the guy in front of him. The guy he was aiming for stood up and looked at me._

 _"Oh shit, you're hot," He said touching my hair. I grabbed his wrist, slammed him on the table, and twisted his arm behind his back. He yelped in pain._

 _"Don't. Ever. Touch. Me."_

 _"Sorry! Sorry!"_

 _"If I ever hear you talking about your dick anywhere on base, I will personally make sure you no longer have to worry about it," I said letting go of his wrist. I grabbed the apple that was thrown back to the guy._

 _"Next time any of your food so happens to land in my vicinity. I will make sure you are put on latrine duties for the rest of your tour." I sat back down and continued eating my food._

 _"Damn Puck, she bitched you," Another soldier snickered._

"I never realized I talked to Puckerman before that day," I told Sue.

"You've probably had many different encounters with him but didn't even realize it. There were at least a thousand soldiers on that base, right?"

I just shrugged and played with my fingers. Sue just hummed and wrote something down in her notepad.

"How are you feeling today?" Sue asked.

"Good. I'm going on a date Friday," I told her. Sue looked impressed.

"Oh? Really? With who?" She asked.

"Another doctor."

"Is it Brittany S. Pierce?"

I looked up at her in shock.

"What? How did you kn-"

"It's my job to know things. Can we talk about Ms. Pierce for a second?"

"No. Next topic," I said.

"I've read about Dr. Pierce. She is brilliant. Only 32 and is already Head of Neurosurgery at one of the most highly regarded teaching hospital in America."

"Yea, I know."

"What do you like about her? Other than her looks," Sue asked. I twisted my fingers as I thought of my answer.

"I-I like that she doesn't walk on eggshells around me like everyone else. She doesn't see me as this fragile person who will break any second."

"I think we sh-" My phone ringing cut her off.

"Sorry, I should've turned it off when I came." I looked at the caller id. Kurt?

"Our session has ended anyway. See you next week, Lopez." I nodded and walked out of the room.

"Yea, Kurt?" I answered.

"Emergency at the hospital. I need you," He said frantically.

"What? What happened?"

"Five car pile up. Santana, you're the only one that knows how to handle these situations. Everyone is going insane," Kurt said.

"That should've been the first that you said. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

* * *

I made it to the hospital in twelve minutes and thirty-eight seconds. I rushed straight to the Emergency room. It was beyond packed. The screams didn't hit me until I got closer to the circular desk. My head was spinning. I took a deep breath. Kurt rushed towards me.

"Oh thank god, you're here. I have broken arms, broken femurs, broken legs, and three possible head traumas, and everyone here and just running around," Kurt said angrily. I closed my eyes and counted to ten.

"Santana, what are you-"

"Shhh, Let me think," I said taking another deep breath and counting down from ten.

"Page Dr. Hudson, Dr. Pierce, and hell, page Dr. Fabray as well. We need all hands on deck," I said going to a bedside. I grabbed the chart from Bree.

"What do we have?" I asked.

"He needs some stitches to his right hand. It went through his front window." I handed the chart back to her.

"Stitch him up, write him a prescription, and send him away." She nodded and grabbed a suture kit.

"Watch out! Watch out!" I heard someone yelling. Another EMT was rushing someone in. I rushed over to him.

"Male, 34. Has an abdominal wound with omental evisceration," The EMT explained to me.

"Where's the object that struck him?"

"Still inside him," She said, "He might have some internal bleeding. Found him stuck in his car, trying to take out whatever is stuck in him."

"Kurt! Open up an E.R for me," I yelled.

"No, Dr. Hummel, will not." My dad boomed. Fuck.

"Look, I do not have time to deal with this "Santana is too crazy to perform surgeries' bullshit. This guy has an abdominal wound with omental evisceration and possible internal bleeding. I can perform this surgery in my sleep," I said pushing past him.

"I'm scrubbing in as well," He said.

"My OR has no room for you and your ego," I said. I scrubbed in real quick...and so did my dad.

"Santana," My dad said in a low voice.

Everyone's voice sounded like I was underwater. I stepped up to the patient and closed my eyes. Inhale. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Exhale.

"Scalpel," I said to the scrub nurse. I held my hand out but felt no scalpel being placed in my hand. I looked over to the scrub nurse.

"Dr. Lopez...um...Dr. Lopez said to every surgical team that you are not permitted to perform any surgeries," the scrub nurse said. I rolled my eyes and reached over and grabbed the scalpel.

"Dr. Lopez is going to let this person die by not permitting me to save his life." I did the first cut into him and my hands flew into autopilot. I carefully looked around for the foreign object.

"Santana, step aside," My dad said. My finger hit something.

"Shh shhh," I said, "I found it. There's some damage to the large intestine. I can fix that up after taking out the object. Is someone going to give me some suction or do I have to do that myself as well?" The surgical nurse from earlier nodded and grabbed the suction machine.

"Pliers." I used the pliers to maneuver the foreign object out of his abdominal area.

"It's a knife. How the hell?" I questioned.

"It's a butterfly knife to be exact," a voice said. Everyone's attention turned to the operating theatre. It was Brittany over the intercom.

"What?" My father asked. I chuckled and put the knife in a pan. I started mending the injured part of the intestine.

"A butterfly knife or a balisong knife. It's a folding knife. He probably was using it for a calming mechanism like I use mine," Brittany started. _Okay, the large intestine is good. Close him up, Santana, you got this. Five more stitches and you're done._

"He was probably using it while driving, possibly stressing over something and then BAM!" the speaker shorted out and the speaker blew. The sound resembled a bomb explosion and it made my body froze. My hands were no longer moving and my eyes were glued on the last open put of the wound.

"Okay, Brittany enough," My father chuckled.

"Santana, you okay?" Brittany asked. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. My frozen hands started to shake. My body started to feel extremely hot.

"I gotta go! I gotta go!" I heard myself scream.

"Someone get me out of here! We have multiple casualties and not enough people here! I need more medics! Help! Help! Help!" I backed away from the patient. I started to claw at my clothes.

"I knew she wasn't ready!" My dad yelled. I backed into a corner and slumped over. Someone barged into the OR.

"Brittany, thank god. Can you get her out of here?" My father asked.

"She's not going to move when she's like, Dr. L," She said, "Just hurry up and close this guy up so it can get less crowded in here." I heard my father sigh.

"Hand me a new suture kit. Gotta clean this mess up."

* * *

 **Friday Morning**

"I heard they are calling in someone to be the Head of trauma until your dad knows for certain you can handle yourself as a respectable surgeon," Kurt said. I sat in my normal seat in the E.R.

"Yea, I heard that too," Mercedes said, "Do you have any clue who it is?"

"Yup."

"Who?" Mercedes and Kurt said in unison.

"Sebastian Smythe. He's coming from Darton Hospital in Columbus. He's a self-entitled asshole and my nemesis," I said.

"Already? When did you meet?" Kurt chuckled. I rolled my eyes and knocked over my pencil log house.

"We haven't. I was put on a video conference call with him and my parents. You can see the assholey-ness in his face. Never referred to me as 'Dr. Lopez' only as 'Miss Lopez'. I'm pretty sure he's misogynistic."

"Do you know when he starts?" Mercedes asked.

"Monday." I checked my watch.

"It's 5 o'clock. I'm heading home to get ready."

"Ready for what?" Kurt questioned.

"Brittany and Santana have a hot date tonight."

Kurt gave me a look.

"I didn't want this to be big news around the hospital."

"So you're saying I'm a gossip?"

"What I'm saying is that I don't want everyone to know until I know this is something serious." Kurt just huffed and crossed his arms.

"You owe me drinks so we can talk," He said

"Okay, okay. I gotta go now. Brittany is picking me up at 7 and my uber is already outside."

"Bye Satan," Mercedes' said waving me off.

"Text me when you get home tonight," Kurt said.

"Yes Mother," I said practically running through the doors towards my uber.

* * *

 _Casual clothes. Casual clothes. Brittany said to dress casually. All you need to put on is jeans and a shirt. But What if I look more bummy than casual?_

"What are you muttering to yourself about, Santanita?" My mom asked.

"I got to find something casual to wear," I said. I was sitting on top of a pile of clothes that I deemed to fancy for this casual date.

"Find a pair of jeans and a nice t-shirt. I'm pretty sure Brittany will like whatever you put on."

"How did you know that-"

"Kurt called me."

"He is such a gossip."

"Not to gossip to tell me how you're actually going to date someone that isn't Quinn. I love Quinn and I would've loved for you guys to get married but Brittany is spectacular as well." My mom boasted.

"Cause she's probably the best thing that will ever happen to this hospital," I mumbled.

"¿Qué se supone que significa eso? What are you trying to say?" My mom asked. I just shrugged.

"Nothing. Let's just drop it," I said. My mom grabbed my chin and turned my head to look at her.

"Santanita, I know that you're going to get better and you're going to be the best thing to happen to this hospital." I scoffed.

"Papá doesn't think so."

"He's just...I don't even know what goes through his mind nowadays. But in my head, you're my daughter and I just want to see you get better."

"Hmmm."

"Okay, get ready. I just came up here to tell you that Santos and Santiago are coming back in 2 weeks," My mom said. My ears perked up.

"Oh gosh, I never thought I say this but I've missed those assholes." My mom just chuckled.

* * *

I finally decided on a pair of black jeans, a long sleeve black turtleneck, and a thick red bomber jacket. The doorbell rang.

"Santanita, Brittany is here!" My mom yelled. My nerves started to act up again. I turned the corner and saw Brittany at the front door. She was wearing jeans and was wearing a mustard yellow WMHS hoodie with a red knitted beanie.

"Oh gosh, I feel underdressed," Brittany said. I smiled.

"She took a good hour to throw on some clothes," My mom said.

"Well, she looks beautiful," Brittany said staring at me.

"Thank you, Britt."

Brittany held her hand out.

"Shall we?" I grabbed her hand and she led me outside to her car.

"Bring her back before midnight!" My mom yelled. I rolled my eyes.

"And no hanky panky!" She yelled.

"Oh gosh, can she be any more embarrassing?" I said as I sat in the car.

"It's okay. There'll be no hanky panky till the 4th or 5th date," Brittany said starting the car up.


	14. Chapter 14

"So where are we going?" I asked nervously.

"Um, a planetarium," She replied.

"Oh cool."

"Is that lame? It's lame right?" Brittany started to freak out a bit.

"Mom thought it would be a good idea but my dad thought I should go the classic route and just take you to dinner. I wanted to do something that we'll both enjoy. Who goes to a planetarium on their first date?" She muttered to herself. I grabbed her hand.

"Britt, chill. It's fine. I've never been to a planetarium before," I said to her

"I rented out the whole place so we won't be bothered by anyone."

* * *

The ride to the planetarium was a quiet one. I guess the nerves were getting the best of us. We pulled up to the Lima Center Planetarium. Brittany hopped out the car and ran around the car to open that door.

"Thank you," I said.

"Okay, this might be weird but put this on," Brittany said handing me a blindfold.

"Should I be scared?"

"No. I just want to make sure everything is perfect before you see what I have planned." I looked at her and at the blindfold.

"Trust me, Santana." Brittany's blue eyes had me hypnotized. Even though my brain was screaming not to grab the blindfold, my hand moved on its own accord. I tied the blindfold and felt Brittany's hand slip into mine. We slowly started walking.

"I just want things to be perfect. I really like you," Brittany whispered as we entered the building. Soft jazz music filled the building.

"We're heading to the star room." We walked a few more feet before I felt the hard floor turn soft. Brittany's hand slipped from mine and I heard her walk behind me.

"May I take your jacket before I do a quick look through and before you take your blindfold off. " I nodded and felt my jacket being slipped off. I heard her move around the room muttering things to herself.

"Okay… You can take your blindfold off." I pulled down the blindfold and was immediately taken back. The walls of the room were completely covered in stars from the 360 projectors. The ceiling showed the waning moon and right in the center of the room stood Brittany and the largest beanbag chair I've laid my eyes on.

"I have some champagne and different little finger foods. Later on, when we're really hungry, the staff will bring in the main course. I thought we could chill on this dope ass bean bag chair and stare at the stars."

I stood there in awe.

"Wow,"

"Wow is good. It's a start," Brittany chuckled nervously, "Come lay down." I made my way over to Brittany.

"This is amazing, Brittany," I said as I sunk into the bean bag, "I've never seen a bean bag this huge before."

"This is what happens when you're drunk and find amazon shopping the most interesting thing to do. Should've seen the hassle it was to get it in my apartment." I laughed.

"So…"

"So…"

"The star room. What made you choose this room to set everything up in?"

"Oh, I love the stars. So many stories you can tell from them," Brittany said, "And it's my favorite Mac Miller Song."

"Hmmm. So you like rap music?" I asked looking at the stars.

"I love rap music. Rappers make the best music to dance too."

"So you like 50cent?"

"Girl, It's easy to love me now. Would you love me if I was down and out? Would you still have love for me? Girl, It's easy to love me now."

"21 Questions," I chuckled.

"What music do you like?"

"I like RB, and soul music. The occasional pop song here and there" I said.

"Favorite artist?" Brittany asked without missing a beat.

"Amy Winehouse."

"Favorite song from her?"

"Damn, that's a tough one. They're all so good."

"Gotta pick one."

"Ugh Brittany, why are you doing this to me?" I laughed.

"Sorry. Sorry," She chuckled.

"Valerie."

"I don't think I've heard that before."

"What?" I said turning on my side to look at Brittany.

"My dad is a big hip hop fan and my mom loves rock n' roll, so listening anything than those two genres was blasphemy in my household. Can you sing a little bit of the song to me?"

"I'm no singer," I said.

"And I'm no rapper but if you asked me to rap Big Poppa by Biggie Smalls, I would," She said laughing.

"Like at gunpoint?" I said cracking up.

"Nah, willingly." My eyes were filled with tears and I was bent over in a gut-wrenching laugh. After a while, my laughter started to die down.

"Your laugh is beautiful," Brittany said after a while.

"I sound like the wicked witch of the west."

"I always did have a crush on her," Brittany said. I chuckled.

"You're funny."

"Well, are you going to sing for me?" She asked again.

"Okay. Okay." I cleared my throat a bit.

"Well sometimes I go out by myself and I look across the water. And I think of all the things, what you're doing and in my head, I paint a picture. 'Cause since I've come on home, well my body's been a mess. And I've missed your ginger hair and the way you like to dress. Won't you come on over, stop making a fool out of me. Why don't you come on over Valerie?" I basically whispered out.

Brittany just stared at me.

"Do I have something on my face?" I asked her.

"No, I just wasn't expecting to hear such a- Why are you a doctor? Why aren't you some famous singer?" Brittany asked.

"Being a surgeon is my calling. Singing is just a hobby."

"We should've gone to karaoke! That would've been waaay better," Brittany shouted.

"Britt, everything is great right now," I said.

"But we could've sung our hearts out till the sun came up!" Brittany said jumping to her feet, "It would've been magical."

"This is magical, Britt. Stop downplaying it. We're laying in a room filled with stars and candles and champagne around us," I chuckled. She just looked down at me.

"Can I say something?"

"Sure," I said. She laid back down next to me.

"I'm sorry for what happened the other day in the OR. I just got over excited about seeing you in action and then you pull out a balisong knife from the guys' abdomen!"

"It's okay Britt."

"It's not okay, Santana. You had an episode in front of your father and a bunch of our coworkers."

"I don't want to talk about it. Especially right now," I said dismissing the topic.

"When? When are you going to talk about it?" She asked.

"Look, Britt. I was in the army for almost 20 years. 15 years in Afghanistan. I have 15 years worth of battle scars and damage. It can't just be undone in one night of talking!" I shouted.

"It's a start though, Santana. I want you to be able to trust me."

"I do trust you. It's- It's embarrassing, Brittany. I don't want to talk about it because it's embarrassing knowing that everyone thinks I'm a nutcase." I said. Brittany was fiddling with the bracelet that she gave me.

"Want to know the story behind this bracelet?" She asked. I nodded.

"I was pre-med when I was a teen. A teenager in a huge university doing pre-med. I was a "know-it-all" and the other kids in my major didn't like me. I was bullied a lot and it took a toll on me. I was only 16 and I couldn't deal. So I turned to drugs. Anything I could get my hands on. Weed, Coke, MDMA, Acid, PCP. You name it, I probably did it. I became an addict. I still did good in school and all but the drugs were taking over. I slowly stopped going to class and just stayed in my room doing whatever drug was close to me. I overdosed in my bathtub at home during Thanksgiving break. My mom was the one to find me and once I came to, I knew I needed help. I went to rehab for the next year and a half and now I'm here. 12 years sober. I had a sober companion and she gave the bracelet to me when I was having a hard time wanting to stay sober."

"But you still smoke weed."

"It really is medicinal though. It helps with my social anxiety," she said.

"Social anxiety?"

"I went to high school before I hit double digits in age. I was terrified out of my mind. Hell yea, I have social anxiety."

I grabbed her hand and kissed her knuckles.

"Thanks for telling me that," I said.

"Most people go running to the hills when they find out I'm a recovering addict."

"Well, I'm not most people." Brittany smiled at me and kissed me on my forehead.

* * *

 **Monday**

"So…"

"So…"

"How was the date?" Mercedes asked me.

"I'm pretty sure Brittany told you how it went."

"She did. But I want to hear your take on it."

I inhaled and looked up from the files.

"It was …. It was amazing. She's amazing."

Mercedes giggled at me.

"Well here comes Dr. Amazing right now," She said as she grabbed some files and walked away. I looked up and saw Brittany roller skating towards me.

"Hey 'Cedes."

"Hey girl," Mercedes said winking at her.

She rolled right up to the desk.

"Hello Dr. Lopez," She said formally, putting her hand out for a handshake.

"Hello Dr. Pierce," I replied shaking her hand, "What do I owe the pleasure?"

"I need a little consultation."

"Oh really," I said quirking my eyebrow.

"Yes. My patient has been experiencing heart flutters and tingling in their lips since Friday night. You've probably seen her actually. Tall, leggy blonde."

I stood up from my chair and walked around the desk.

"About 5'8? Blue eyes. Super beautiful?" I asked getting closer to her.

"Mhmm," she said.

"I think I know how to help your 'patient'." I got closer to her, slowly closing the gap between her lips and mine.

"Oh do you know," She whispered. I hummed in response.

"Santana!" My Mother's light but booming voice knocked me out of my stupor. I jumped ten feet away from Brittany.

"H-hola Ma. ¿Cómo estás hoy? How are you?" I said.

She just stared at me before busting out laughing. _What the fuck?_ Brittany started giggling too. I shot a glare at her. She rolled over to me a gave me a quick kiss.

"We'll finish this consult some other time then. Maybe over some lunch? Today?" She asked.

"Sorry, Brittany, she's stuck with her parents for lunch today. You're more than welcome to join. You can tell us all about the date!" My mom exclaimed.

"Yea, no. She's not joining us," I said.

"San, don't be like that."

"How about we have dinner tonight?" I said.

"Oops sorry. Monday nights are our girl night."

"Our?"

"Mercedes, Rachel, and me. We chill at my apartment and watch Disney movies. You can join us." Brittany's pinkie found mine.

"Nah, I don't wanna intrude. That's you guys thing," I said looking down at our intertwine pinkies.

My mother just stood there watching us with a huge smile.

"You two are so adorable."

"Ma," I whined, "Why did you come down here?"

"Sue Sylvester is in a meeting with your Father. They're discussing you and your future role in the hospital."

"I should probably go," Brittany said, giving me a peck on the cheek, "Call me later."

All I could do was nod.

* * *

"Let's go into your office and discuss this."

"What do you mean my future role in this hospital?" I said sitting on the couch in my office, "This hospital, working here, is all I've ever dreamed about. All I've ever wanted."

"Santanita, Lo sé," She said sitting down next to me, "I know."

"I'm getting better, mamá. I know I am."

"Sue has said that."

"If I'm not a surgeon, I am nothing," I said solemnly, "What is dad saying about this?"

"He wants…Well you know your father," My mom said. I just stared at her. My eyes pleading to her not to sugarcoat anything.

"He wants to transfer you to Columbus Hospital and have Sebastian take your position here."

I felt my world crashing around me.

"Transfer me?"

"What happened in the OR the other day had his mindset."

"Transfer me?"

"He thinks you could get more therapy sessions in if your closer to the base and Columbus is the perfect spot."

"I don't wanna leave. My family is here. My best friend." Brittany.

"Nothing is set in stone yet. That's what they're discussing right now. Sue is pleading your case."

I just sat there. My eyes zoned in on a stain on the carpet.

"Santa-"

"Thanks for telling me this. I-I gotta go back to work now."

I sat behind the nurse's desk in the ER with a pile of broken pens in front of me.

"Feeling a little destructive today?"

"Hey Kurt," I said not looking up.

"I heard about...it."

"I guess everyone knows," I sighed.

"It's almost your lunch break," Kurt said.

"Not that hungry. I think I'm going to watch a surgery," I said. Kurt sighed.

"Santana, nothing is definite," He said. I grabbed the trash bin and tossed the broken pens in there.

"I gotta go there's an open heart surgery happening in OR 3."

* * *

I couldn't focus on the surgery being done in front of me. Am I that much of an embarrassment to my father that he rather have me somewhere else? 15 years I've been gone, out of his life and now he doesn't mind it happening again.

I felt a hand on my back. I looked up to see a familiar blonde.

"Hey, Quinn."

"Watching a surgery instead of having lunch with your parents?"

"They sent you to get me?" I asked.

"Yes and no." I looked at her confused.

"Yes, they sent me to get you after I offered to find you."

"Hmmm."

"Santana…"

I looked over to her.

"I talked to your dad."

"Oh great, another person knows."

"He's not gonna transfer you." I looked at her incredulously.

"Why?"

"Because I told him that whatever he thinks Sebastian can do here, you can do it tens times better...in due time."

I nodded.

"Let's go eat. Your parents have a surprise for you."

* * *

Quinn and I walked into the Breadstix and I immediately realized what the surprise was.

"Santos!? Santiago!?"


	15. Chapter 15: Mucormycosis

**AN: I honestly love writing this fic. The next chapter might take longer to write because as of rn, I have no clue where I'm going w this story. So im going to make an outline for probably the next 10 chapters. Ok...hope you enjoy this chapter :) I love reading your reviews... so keep leaving them lol**

* * *

I ran over to where my brothers were seated. Santos was the first one to get up and engulf me into a big bear hug.

"Oh fuck, you've gotten huge," I said.

Santos was my older brother. Standing at 6'4, he was a neurosurgeon like our dad. Instead of working in Mckinley Hospital, he decided to go all the way out to Mercy West Hospital, a teaching hospital in Seattle. Santos has changed a lot since the last time I saw him. He had grown a beard and his hair, which used to belong, was shaved down.

"And you're still small," Santos said. I grabbed him by the beard.

"When did this shit start connecting? And when did all that fat turn into muscle, Doughboy

"Oh whatever, San," He said pulling me into another hug, "I've taken up boxing. you can't be the only good-looking Lopez. Not including Babyface pretty boy over there."

"Move it, Oso, Santanita wants to hug her favorite brother," Santiago said.

Santiago is my younger brother. He was only 10 when I joined the army and 15 when I got deployed to Afghanistan. He takes after our mother's side of the family. Unlike Santos who towers over us, Santiago is only 5'8 and has the build of an Olympic swimmer. He's the only Lopez to not become a doctor but a lawyer. A medical lawyer, though. Santiago is the complete opposite of Santos. Santiago kept his hair long and always had it thrown in a messy bun. His face seems like it can't grow hair except for his little Gomez Addams' mustache.

"Aw, come here, Santi," I said wiggling my way out of Santos' arms and into Santiago's.

"I've missed both of you guys. You've changed a lot, Mr. Addams," I said tapping his little mustache

"The women in New York love it." Quinn walked over to us, chuckling.

"Quinn!" Santos shouted, embracing her into his infamous bear hugs.

"Ay Dios Mio, Oso, put her down," I shouted, swatting at him.

"Still territorial I see, San. You guys haven't gotten married yet?" Santiago teased. Quinn and I looked at each other awkwardly.

"We're not together, anymore," I said. They looked at me and Quinn.

"Like one your 'breaks'?" Santos asked.

"No, more like not romantically or sexually involved with each other."

"Did Mom not tell you guys? She usually tells you two everything," I said looking over at my mom. She just shrugged.

"I'm getting older. I can't be gossiping to my kids about everything," She said taking a sip of her coffee.

"As long as no one cheated, we're good,' Santos said. I let out a strangled chuckle.

"Yea…" We all sat back down. My dad was quiet throughout the whole little reunion.

"Dad, when are we meeting this Neurosurgeon, you've told us about?"

"Brittany Spears, was it?" Santiago laughed.

"S. Pierce," I said. "It's Brittany S. Pierce. Not to be confused with Britney Spears." Santiago laughed some more.

"I heard her IQ is like 250 or something like that. A child prodigy." Santos said.

"She's what? 34? 35?" Santiago asked.

"29," My dad said.

"And the Head of Neurosurgery! Wow!" Santos exclaimed. A small smile graced my lips. They don't know how amazing Brittany really is.

"Where's Kurt?" My mom asked.

"I think he had a surgery scheduled," Quinn said.

"So, Santana…" Santos started. I already knew what he was going to ask.

"I can't do surgeries."

"She needs to be medically cleared of PTSD before I will let her in an OR," My dad said, finally speaking up. Oh, his favorite topic.

"Oh," was all Santos said.

"I'm going to therapy and all that jazz but being in combat is detrimental." The waiter came and took our orders.

"I'm really happy to see you guys. How long are you guys in town?" I asked.

"I'm here until next week," Santos said.

"I'm here as long as McKinley needs a lawyer," Santiago said smiling slyly. I almost choked on my water.

"What?" I exclaimed.

"Yea, Dad called me last week telling me that McKinley could use another lawyer," He said, "Plus I was just kind of floating around Hospital to Hospital in Boston."

"He is going to have to cut his hair," my dad said. Santiago gasped.

"No, papá, not the hair. Anything but the hair!"

"Ay Dios Mio, Santi, cállate," My dad said. Everyone was just chuckling.

* * *

Our parents left halfway through the luncheon. They had an emergency meeting about the hospital or something. Santos gave me and Quinn another bear hug.

"Where are you staying, San?" he asked.

"With mom and dad."

"Eck," He groaned. He dug into his pocket and handed me a key.

"What's this?"

"It's a little gift," He started, "For serving our country for a majority of your life and getting help for your PTSD.'

"Yea, okay…" I trailed off.

"What is it?"

"A key to my place I bought a few years back. I don't use it," Santos said. I hugged him.

"It's in downtown. A little Townhouse around the corner of the Hospital. I know you still don't drive," he said.

"This is so awesome. Gracias Oso," I said.

"Where are you staying?" Quinn asked.

"With Santi at his place."

"Sadly," Santiago said.

"Alright, I gotta get back to the hospital," Quinn said, "Thanks for inviting me. It was nice seeing you guys." Quinn gave a final hug to my brothers and headed back to the hospital.

"Quinn is still so fine," Santiago said, checking Quinn as she walked away. I smacked his head.

"Ay! You guys aren't together anymore," he said.

"You are way too old to be acting like a teenager. Checking out Quinn like she's a piece of meat," I said.

"I wasn't!" He pleaded, "I was...admiring her womanly figure."

"Stop that, Santi. That was going to be San's wife," Santos said. I rolled my eyes.

"On that note, I'm leaving." I hugged them one more time before heading back to the hospital.

* * *

I was finishing up my last stitch on a 16-year-old's eyebrow when Kurt found me.

"Next time you get into a fight with someone bigger than you, cover your face. Try to keep the stitches dry for at least 48 hours, okay?"

"Okay," He said dazedly. His mom chuckled.

"My son is a knucklehead," She said, "What do we do about the black eye?"

"Just put some ice it to calm the swelling," I said.

"Thank you, Dr. Lopez," She said leaving the ER.

"You're in a good mood. All nice and friendly with the patients," Kurt said. I rolled my eyes.

"Are you busy this Saturday?" I asked.

"Why?"

I took the apartment keys out of my pocket.

"I need help moving my stuff into my own place," I said walking towards Mercedes at eh nurses desk.

"What!?" Kurt squealed, "When did this happen?"

"Santos and Santiago are in town," I started, "And Santos said I can have his place in Lima."

"Ah the Lopez Love Shack in Downtown," Kurt said.

"Ew, why would you call it that?"

"Santos always called it that. He named it. Not me," Kurt said laughing.

"A love shack? Who has a love shack?" Mercedes asked.

"Santana."

"Stop calling it a love shack. It's not a love shack," I said.

"Love Shack?" We all turned to see Brittany standing there. Oh great.

"Who has a love shack?" She asked. I groaned.

"It's not a love shack. It's just … you know what … whatever," I huffed sitting down next to Mercedes.

"Your girlfriend has a love shack," Mercedes said. Brittany laughed. Girlfriend? Are we labeling things now? We've been on one date.

"When do we get to see this love shack?" She asked.

"Can we please stop saying love shack?"

"The love shack is a little old place where we can get together" Brittany and Mercedes sang.

"Two things I want to say. 1. If anyone of you guys says love shack one more time you will never see my place. 2. I need help moving my shit on Saturday," I said.

"I'll bring the alcohol," Kurt said.

"I'll bring some snacks," Mercedes chimed in. Everyone looked at Brittany.

"What?" She asked.

"What are you bringing?" Kurt asked.

"My cute self?"

"I'm fine with that," I said smiling.

"Okay, Brittany isn't coming," Kurt said.

"What?"

"Why?"

"I wanna be able to move San's stuff quick and with help. Santana isn't going to get much done if she's too busy making googly eyes at you the whole time," Kurt said.

"Preach," Mercedes said. I rolled my eyes.

"Dr. Pierce?" Someone said. I turned to see Santiago in a suit.

"Yea, that's me," Brittany said, "And you are?" He opened his mouth to speak.

"My brother, Santiago," I interjected. He smiled.

"My dad said you could give me a tour of the hospital," he told her.

"I could give you that tour," I told him. He just shrugged.

"I should probably go put some shoes on then," Brittany said, "Be right back." Santiago just nodded.

Once Brittany was gone, Santiago spoke to us.

"Damn, San, she is fine," He said.

"Dad really said-"

"Nah, I brought up the idea," He said, "Hey Kurt." He ruffled Kurt's hair.

"You're still the same, Santiago," Kurt said fixing his hair, "Still going after Santana's girlfriends."

"I kissed Quinn on accident," he said, "And she's not dating Pierce, she would've said something at our lunch." He looked at me, waiting for confirmation. I just shrugged.

"We've been on one date," I said nonchalantly.

"Oh shut up. Santana is absolutely smitten," Mercedes piped in. I smirked. Santiago looked at me.

"Ah come on!" Santiago groaned.

* * *

I did so many sutures in just 2 hours, I felt myself going insane. I walked over to Mercedes only to be handed another file.

"You might wanna call Quinn down for this one," Mercedes said. I opened the file.

"Stephen Brahe. 16. Been having one-sided headaches for the past few months and is currently has a fever of…" My eyes ran over the number.

"This is accurate?" I asked.

"It was 100.1°F just 10 minutes ago. It's reached 102°F when I took his temper again 5 minutes ago," Mercedes said.

"Page Quinn 911." I rushed over to his bed.

"Hello Stephen, my name is Dr. Lopez. Can you tell me when your headaches started and where it hurts the most when the headaches occur."

"I think they started at the beginning of the summer. I don't know," He forced out, "It feels like something is behind my left eye pounding at my skull." I put on my stethoscope and listened to his heart and his lungs.

"You're lungs sound a little congested. Can you cough for me?" I asked. He did as he was told. He groaned in pain.

"Where are your parents right now?" I asked him, observing his body and his small movements.

"At work. I knew something was wrong with me at school. I felt dizzy." That's when I noticed it. The black goo started to drip from his nose. I cursed internally, knowing exactly what was wrong with him.

"Santana, you paged-" Quinn stopped in her tracks.

"You have some open beds in peds? We're dealing with mucormycosis. You're getting admitted, Stephen."

* * *

Quinn and I stood outside of Stephen's hospital room.

"Santana, I've never treated mucormycosis before. The mortality rate it really fucking high."

"I know."

My dad walked over to us.

"Are you sure it's mucormycosis?" my dad asked me. I nodded.

"The biopsy confirmed it," I said.

"What treatment plan are you going with?" My dad asked Quinn.

"I don't even know where to start," Quinn said. I suddenly felt invisible in the conversation.

"I know the textbook treatment," I said.

"What?" My dad asked. I inhaled.

"I said I know the textbook treatment," I said, "We need to prescribe him a mixture of amphotericin B, posaconazole or isavuconazole through the vein. Monitor him for 4-6 weeks and if things don't get better…" I trailed off.

"He dies?" Quinn asked.

"We do surgery," My dad said. I nodded.

"To cut away the infected tissue," I said.

"Okay, we need to get Dr. Pierce on this and call Dr. Smythe," He told Quinn.

"Um, what about me?" I asked.

"You're on the case too. Having an overview of the treatment for Mr. Brahe," My dad said, "Have his parents been contacted?"

"Right when we admitted him," I said.

"But they're kind of…"

"Going through a nasty divorce right now and they're not speaking to each other," I finished pointing to the room. The parents were on opposite sides of the room. The mom was at the bedside and the father was pacing back in forth at the other side of the room, muttering something to himself.

"Worst type of parents to deal with. Come on," my dad said walking inside.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Brahe, I'm Dr. Lopez. This is also Dr. Lopez and this is Dr. Fabray. We're gonna do our very best to help your son fight off this infection," he said. Mr. Brahe stopped pacing.

"You're very best?" He started, "You're very best? You better cure my fucking son of whatever infection he has or I will sue everybody in this fucking hospital right down to the janitors."

I opened my mouth to say something but my father stopped me.

"Mr. Brahe, I know you're scared. Who wouldn't be? You must've googled mucormycosis and saw what terrible things it does to the infected. But trust me, I will only have the very best doctors helping your son."

My heart skipped a beat when my dad said that. Very best doctors. Does he consider me one of those?

"I want names. Who are these doctors?" Mr. Brahe asked pulling out a pen and paper.

"Dr. Quinn Fabray, Pediatrics. Dr. Brittany S. Pierce, Neurology. Dr. Smythe, Trauma," He said. My name wasn't there. My shoulders slumped down.

"What is the other Dr. Lopez going to do?" Mrs. Brahe said finally speaking up. I opened my mouth to speak only for my father silenced me by putting his hand up

"Oversee the pharmaceutical side of things," My father said. Nurse duties.

Mr. Brahe sat down.

"What's the first thing you're going to do?" Mrs. Brahe said directly to me.

"We're going to start him on a cocktail of strong antibiotics to help fight the infection and monitor him for around 5 weeks. If the antibiotics are not working we're gonna go a surgical route and remove all the infected tissue," I said.

"Will you be doing the surgery?" She asked me. I paused and looked at my father.

"Dr. Smythe will be doing the surgery when it's necessary," My father said. Mrs. Brahe nodded.

* * *

"In charge of pharmaceutical affairs? I'm the pharmacists now?" I asked. We were at the big board meeting room. Quinn, Brittany, my parents, Santiago, and Sebastian Fucking Smythe, were all there.

"Santana, you still can't do surgeries," My mom said.

"I know," I said through gritted teeth.

"Um, Dr. Lopez's?' Brittany started, "I'm not really sure what I'm doing here. I'm neuro."

"The infection can travel to his brain," I said calming down a bit, "We need you to monitor his brain activity during the 4-6 weeks we're trying to kill the infection."

Brittany nodded.

"You're basically the leader of this team, Santanita," Santiago said, "Just not surgically." I rolled my eyes and sat back down. Brittany's hand found its way to my knee. I gave her a small smile.

"Okay, So what am I doing here?" Sebastian spoke.

"You've dealt w mucormycosis before, have you not?" My brother asked.

"Yes and they died," Sebastian said, "The infection fucking sucks to treat."

"We can't let this 16-year-old boy die because the infection 'sucks to treat'," Quinn said, getting angry.

"I never said that, Dr. Fabray."

"It's implied."

"We took an oath," I started, "We ca-"

"I know about the oath, Dr. Lopez," Sebastian interrupted.

"We can treat this kid with or without your help, Dr. Smythe," I finished. He just shrugged.

"I'm game," He said. What a fucking prick.

"Alright. It's late. Let's start up early tomorrow morning," My dad said, "Learn to get along cause you all are going to be working close to each other for the next 6 weeks."


	16. Chapter 16

I woke up in a room that was unfamiliar to me. My head was killing me. I ducked under the covers to make sure I had some clothes on. I was in an oversized long-sleeve Harvard shirt.

"Good morning sleepy head," I heard Brittany's voice rang out. I peeked out of the covers.

"Hey," My voice croaked out, "I'm in your bed?"

"Yup and I made some breakfast," she said. She was already dressed. In a light blue dress and white heels.

"What happened last night?" I asked.

"You got drunk. Completely hammered. I don't know where your new place is and you said you didn't want to go to your parents' house," She said, "So... I brought you to my home."

"That is so embarrassing. I'm sorry."

"San, it's no problem," Brittany said, "It was nice to cuddle with someone other than Lord Tubbington." _Lord Tubbington?_

"Lord Tubbington is my cat. He's around here somewhere," She said looking around. Brittany placed the tray of breakfast on my lap. It was just some honey nut Cheerios, some fruit slices, some green tea, and coffee.

"I don't cuddle," I said drinking some coffee, "I'm not a cuddler."

"You do," Brittany teased, "You're very comfy." I shoveled a spoonful of cereal in my mouth.

"What time is it?" I asked.

"5:15 am."

"Shit, we're going to be late," I said, handing the tray over to Brittany.

"I don't have clothes here. Or a toothbrush," I mumbled to myself, "I think I have an outfit in my office and a toothbrush." Brittany chuckled.

"Kurt dropped off an outfit for you. It's in the bathroom, along with a toothbrush," she said. I hopped out of bed.

"Um, Britt?"

"Yea," She said eating some fruit.

"Did I …talk… in my sleep?"

"You did but if you're not comfortable talking about it, then we don't have to," Brittany said looking at me.

"But you have questions, no?"

"A million and one but I don't want you to feel like you have to answer all of them because you feel like I need to know everything right now. We can go at your pace, San," she said. I smiled. I walked over to her and gave her a soft kiss on the lips.

"Thank you," I whispered before kissing her again.

"Okay, get your cute ass dressed," Brittany said slapping my ass.

* * *

I hooked up the medicine cocktail to Stephen's IV.

"How are you feeling today?" I asked him. His parents have left the room to argue about another stupid thing.

"I feel bad. Sick," He said, "My parents are going through a divorce and can't have a civil conversation without raising their voices. I've been eating jello since yesterday cause nothing else stays down."

"That bad, huh," I said. He chuckled.

"Not that bad," He replied, "The jello tastes good." It was my turn to chuckle.

"Seems like everything is all laughs in here." I turned to see Sebastian smug stupid face, standing at the doorway. I rolled my eyes.

"Just started the IV drip. Dr. Pierce is coming in a few hours to take him down to do an MRI," I said.

"Mhmm. _Brittany,"_ He said walking into the room. I cleaned up the mess I made.

"What can I do for you, Dr. Smythe?" I said through gritted teeth.

"Just came to check up on, Steve," He said.

"Bro, it's Stephen, not Steve," He said.

"Yea yea," Sebastian dismissed. I rolled my eyes.

"Well, the jello cart will be coming your way soon. I heard they're serving the lime one today," I said to Stephen.

"Ooh, lime jello. The Lamborghini of all jellos," he joked. I laughed leaving the room.

"Do you always do that?" Sebastian asked me, getting into the elevator as well.

"Do what?" My smile dropping off my face.

" _Flirt_ with your patients."

I slammed my hand on the emergency brake, stopping the elevator between floors.

"What the hell did you just say? I do not _flirt_ with my patients. This _kid._ This _boy_ is dying and he has to deal with his insufferable parents while he is laying in his hospital bed, _**dying.**_ He needs normalcy, so yes I'm cracking jokes and making him laugh. That does not constitute _flirting,_ Dr. Smythe," I said.

"I wonder how your Father would interpret that," Sebastian said.

"What the hell is your problem?" I asked him, "I do not know you and you do not know me. Why are trying to get me kicked off this case?"

"I just don't like you. Do I really need a reason?" He asked.

"Yes! I'm an amazing doctor and an even amazing surgeon. Why are-"

"Yet, I haven't seen you do surgery and every 'surgery' you've done either leads you to be suspended or having a fucking breakdown in the middle of it. So yea, keep saying you're an amazing surgeon when you can't fucking do any surgeries." He reached past me and started the elevator again.

* * *

Brittany texted me earlier that she was taking Stephen to do the MRI and wanted me to join. After my little conversation with Sebastian, I've been sitting in the dark in my office. I sent Bree and Joe to administer the second dose of the cocktail for him. I sent Artie and Sugar to join Brittany during the MRI. I picked up the phone and called the only person I knew that could help me with what I'm feeling.

"Sylvester."

* * *

Sue and I sat on a bench outside the gun range.

"Are we just gonna sit outside or go inside?" She asked. My hands felt sweaty.

"I want to get better. I need to get better to do something that I love. But … but what if my mind doesn't get better and the scars of war prevent me from doing something I've only seen myself doing?" I rambled. Sue just sat and listened.

"What if I get comfortable with not doing surgeries and start to enjoy being on the ER rotation and doing scut work? Brittany wouldn't want to be with me and I would be a disappointment to my parents. A disappointment to myself."

"Santana, what makes you think Brittany wouldn't want to be with you cause you're not doing surgeries?" Sue asked.

"Brittany is brilliant. She's the head of a department at only 29. She is probably the best neurosurgeon in North America. She deserves someone that is equally brilliant not me. Not someone who can't sleep with an overhead fan on because it reminds them of the helicopters flying over their base in Afghanistan."

"I don't think you give yourself a lot of credit, Santana." Sue said, "Come on, follow me." We walked inside the range and Azimio was standing there with a gun and a target

"Hey Lopez," He said handing me a Glock 19.

"No, I can't."

"Stop saying that. Stop saying you can't or these 'what if' bullshit, Santana. You need to stop doing that. The only thing holding you back from recovering is yourself. Maybe you've gotten used to being this way but you need to break out from this role you're playing."

"And what role is that?"

"Someone who is helpless and can't get help," Azimio said. I looked down at the empty gun in my hand.

"What made you get help in the first place?" He asked.

"I, uh, I wanted my girlfriend, at the time, to be happy. She wanted me to get help but I didn't want to."

"Do you want to now?"

"What?" I asked looking at him.

"Are you getting help for you or for everyone else? PTS does affect you and everyone else but they're only dealing with the pain you outwardly show. That's like 5% of PTS. You are dealing with that 5% plus the other 95%. You have to be getting help for you, not for the people that only deal with 5% for your PTS," Azimio told me hanging the target.

"I do want to get better."

"Don't just say it. Show me. Show yourself." The target carrier flew the outlined man to the back of the range.

"Load up," He said putting his glasses on and earmuffs. I placed the gun down and putting on my protective gear as well. Azimio took a step back. I picked up the Glock and loaded the magazine in it. I turned the safety off and aimed the gun.

"3 to center mass!" Azimio yelled.

"I can't."

"Lopez! 3 to the center mass!" He shouted once again. I felt my heart beating faster and faster.

"I ca-"

"3!"

I took a deep breath in. I felt like I wasn't in my own body. I was floating above my body, watching myself as my pointer finger pushed against the trigger at a rapid pace, letting off 3 shots. I saw the bullets, moving in slow motion, and hit the target paper. _3 to center mass._ Dead on. One after the other, they hit the small bullseye on the target. Like second nature, I put the safety back on, unloaded the magazine from the gun, and placed the gun down. The target zoomed towards us and Azimio unhooked it and handed it to me.

"Santana, The road to recovery is not an easy one. You'll feel like you've gone so far and then a small thing will set you back. But you always have to remember that all the progress you've gotten done does not disappear because of one setback. It's a battle and you will always win. No matter the scenario is."

I looked at the target with a small smile.

* * *

There was a small knock on my office door.

"Come in," I said. It was Brittany.

"Hey. How are you?" Brittany asked.

"I've had better days."

"Is that why it's so dark in here?" Brittany said walking over to the window.

"Can you just leave them closed for a bit longer?"

"What's on your mind, San?"

"Something Sebastian said to me."

"Does it explain this?" She said picking up the target.

"I had an emergency therapy session today."

"At a gun range?"

"Sue is really unorthodox."

"Wanna talk about it?" Brittany asked. I just looked at her. Not in a creepy, staring kind of way. Her eyes, so blue and soft, made me feel like I was drowning. The way her smile made me want to bare my all to her and answer every question she has before she even asks them. Scared. I must confess I am scared in the presence of Brittany S. Pierce.

"Do I have something on my face?"

"No. I'm just...taking in everything."

"Why?"

"Cause you scare me."

"That is not the answer I was expecting," She said sitting down on the couch. She patted the space next to her.

"You're too far. Come explain my scariness." I chuckled and walked over to her. Once I sat down, I melted into her side. She draped her arm over my shoulder as I rested my head on her chest.

"Not in a bad way. I just feel...I just...I don't even know how to explain," I stuttered out, "When you stare at me, I feel so open. Like the wall, I spent building up over the past decade is just a sheet of glass for you. You see through me, yet you don't poke and prod."

"Hmmm." Brittany's hand danced in my hair.

"I don't feel the need too because I know you'll tell me, in time."

"I shot held a gun today. Something I wouldn't have been able to do since leaving Afghanistan. Something I couldn't do in months and I did it today."

"That's a step. A huge one."

"I realized today that I wanted to get better for other people and not myself. I need to get better for myself and because I have other people that need me. My family. My friends. Hell, even this hospital needs me to get better or we'll have a dickwad like Smythe running the trauma department."

Brittany kissed the top of my head.

"I'm so glad to be your girlfriend, San," Brittany said. Brittany gave me a soft kiss on my forehead.

"I'm glad to be your girlfriend too Britt."


	17. Chapter 17

Thursday.

I was back in Stephen's new room. We moved him to a sterilized room because his white blood cell count had gotten dangerously low on Tuesday night. Sebastian stood in the back of the room, watching me administer the medicine to Stephen.

"No small talk today, Dr. Lopez?" Sebastian asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Is he always such a dick?" Stephen whispered.

"This is him being a professional dick," I joked. There was a knock at the door.

"Are you sterilized and wearing the cover?" Sebastian said before opening the door.

"Yes. It's Dr. Pierce."

"No social visits Dr. Pierce," Sebastian said through the door. I rolled my door.

"Can you just open the door and let Dr. Hottie in," Stephen said. I looked at Stephen.

"I know she's your girlfriend, Dr. Lopez. I'll wait until I'm older to make my move," he chuckled.

"How did you know?"

"Nurses love gossiping to sick 16-year-old boys." I rolled my eyes.

"Well, you'll be waiting a long time."

Sebastian opened the door.

"Hello, Stephen. How are you?" Brittany said holding up some green jello.

"Sick and tired of jello. Dr. Pierce, I've eaten so much green jello that I dreamt last night that I was being chased by The Rock and he was completely made out of green Jello," Stephen said. Brittany chuckled.

"Hello, Dr. Lopez," Brittany said.

"Dr. Pierce," I said. She winked at me before turning her attention back to Stephen.

"Okay, we have another MRI to do today and Dr. Fabray is gonna come in and talk about your blood test results and draw some more blood today as well."

"Dr. Vampire is coming in...awesome," Stephen said. I gave him a weird look.

"Dr. Vamp-What?"

"I only see Dr. Fabray when it comes to a blood test and blood-related things. So I dubbed her Dr. Vampire." I chuckled.

"Do I have a nickname?" I asked.

"Lil' Lo." I groaned at his nickname for me.

"Oh gosh, I thought it'll be something cooler than that."

"Too many Lopez' in this hospital and you keep it one hunnid," He said. I gave him a fist bump.

"Fo' sho'."

"Alright, Dr. Lopez, you're done with the pharmaceuticals, you can go," Sebastian said. I rolled my eyes and checked my watch.

"I have to go anyways. Having lunch with my brother," I said, "Steph, I'll try to get some red jello on your jello circulation." I gave him a fist bump on my way out of the room. Brittany followed me out.

"So...Lunch with Santiago, hmm?" Brittany asked.

"Yea, he wants to catch up and whatnot," I said, handing the chart to the nurse at the nurse's station. We walked back to my office in silence

"I think Santiago has a little crush on me."

"Oh, he does. Santiago is like my carbon copy," I said, "He loves everything I do. He likes everything I do."

"Isn't that annoying?" Brittany asked.

"No. I see Santiago as a baby. I find it cool he looks up to me so much. Santos is older and never liked to do things with me, so having Santi like everything I do, I always had a play pal." Brittany placed a kiss on my cheek.

"I think it's cool too. I was an only child for 20 years. When my parents had my little sister, I was already in med school. We don't have a close sibling relationship. What do I have in common with a 9-year-old?" I sat down on the couch.

"Come sit with me for a bit," I said. Brittany walked over to the couch.

"I wish I could but I gotta go back up to Stephen's room and take him down to the MRI. I'm taking your intern Bree with me. She showed interest in Neuro if that's okay."

"That's fine. She wants to learn and I can only teach her so much," I said. Brittany hummed in response.

"Alright, let me get on my way," Brittany said. She leaned down and kissed me on my lips. Something ignited in me and I knew I needed more than just a simple peck. My tongue pushed its way into her mouth. My hands found their way to the hem of her scrubs and trailed my hands up to her bra. I needed Brittany. This primal feeling was taking over me.

"San'ana," Brittany groaned out. Brittany pushed me off, softly. The instant guilt took over me. I jumped away from her.

"Sorry. Sorry," I repeated.

"Santana, it's okay," Brittany said, "I would be down but it's just that...we're at work."

"It's unprofessional," I said. Brittany walked back over me.

"Not to sound cheesy but I want our first time to be...special," She started, "I want to make it special for you."

"I'm sorry," I repeated. Brittany kissed me on my forehead.

"You're staying over tonight?" She asked.

"Yea, just tonight. Tomorrow I think I'm going to head to my place. Moving day is in 2 days and I need to scope the place."

"Scope?"

"Just observe all the entrances and exits of the-"

"Love Shack."

" _Building_. Honestly, I'm just trying to find the easiest way to stumble home from the bars." Brittany chuckled.

"Can I come to see the love shack?"

"Saturday."

"Okay, Saturday," She said checking her watch, "Alright, I have to go do the MRI." She gave me another peck on the lips.

"Saturday."

I hummed in response.

* * *

"You tried to what?" Santiago exclaimed.

"Look, I haven't had sex since Quinn and I broke up," I said, "And with Quinn, we used to have sex almost every day."

Santiago and I have a weird sibling relationship since we discuss everything, including our sex lives.

"Everyday? Even when you guys were... You know… repping that blood life?"

"No, you idiot. Every day other than those days."

"You tried to jump Brittany's bones. How long have you guys been together?"

"A few weeks now."

"And no sex? No second base fondling?" He asked.

"Nope."

"Damn, maybe she isn't that into you." I slapped him on his arm.

"Santi, I like her. Like a lot," I said, "She's so cool and understanding and-"

"Hot as hell!" I shot him a glare.

"...that too," I said chuckling, "I haven't felt this strongly about someone since Quinn and I first got together."

"Aww San," Santiago teased. I reached across the table and slapped his arm.

"I need a beer," I said, "Or something stronger."

"Going out drinking tonight?" He asked sipping his water. I took a bite into my sandwich.

"Yea."

"Do you think you've taken up heavy drinking to cope with everything you've experienced in Afghanistan?"

"Fuck you, are you my shrink or something?" I asked.

"I'm just saying. You never drank so much before but now almost every night you drink to the point of blacking out."

"Not every night," I countered.

"Yea because other nights you work yourself to exhaustion," he said. "Sue called me."

"My shrink? For what?"

"She thinks we should do a family therapy thing. Not including mom and dad. Just you, Santos, and me."

"Why wouldn't she ask me about it?"

"Cause you wouldn't agree, San. You've always been this way. Making sure everyone else is good when you're hurting. I think it's a good idea because you've always looked after me and you're my sister. My only sister. Let me look after you," Santiago pleaded.

"I'll think about it."

"I'm serious, San."

"Gosh Santi, I know," I said taking a sip of my water.

"Can you please not drink tonight? Just do this one little thing for me and not drink tonight. Please?" Santiago all but begged. I rolled my eyes.

"Okay damn. If it'll make you stop bothering me. I won't drink for the rest of the week." Santiago smiled at me. I rolled my eyes at him again.

* * *

 **FRIDAY**

I sat at the nurses' desk, waiting for any type of trauma to come in. My hands were itching to stitch something up. I had already administered Stephen his medicine for today and like clockwork, was kicked out of the room so that the "real doctors can get to work.'' _Sebastian words, not mine._ The pencil that was in my hand broke in half.

"You're acting like a crackhead right now," Mercedes said to me. I looked at her.

"What?"

"You are acting like a crackhead," She repeated pointing to the pile of broken pencils in front of me, "Breaking pencils and staring off into space. Acting all fidgety like a crackhead that hasn't gotten their fix."

"She needs some sex," Santiago said. I threw a pencil at him.

"No, I do not," I said, "I'm bored. I can feel my brain dying slowly from this boredom."

"Nah, I think Small Lopez is right," Mercedes said eyeing me.

"Small Lopez?" Santiago questioned.

"Can't call you Little Lopez cause that is Santana's nickname," She said. _Stephen and his big mouth_.

"And before you blame Stephen, it was Brittany that told me," Mercedes chuckled. _Brittany and her big mouth._

"It's Lil' Lo, not Little Lopez," I corrected. I went back to playing with pencils. _Maybe I do need sex_.

"We know, Santana," Santiago said laughing.

"Shit. Did I say that out loud?"

"Yup, I'm texting Brittany right now," Mercedes said whipping her phone out. I lunged for her phone but Mercedes was too fast.

"Why do you need to tell her?" I whined.

"So that she can do something about it," Mercedes countered.

"You guys suck. Thank God I only got 30 more minutes of being around you assholes," I said getting up and walking over to my interns. Artie was the first to spot me.

"Dr. Lopez, Why is Bree getting special treatment?" He asked immediately.

"What do you mean?"

"Going to do an MRI with Dr. Pierce?" Sugar added, "We haven't even stepped foot in the MRI room."

"Or wheel in Artie's case," I mumbled.

"Comments like those are what I can report to your father," Artie said. I felt the anger rising.

"Go ahead. Report whatever the fuck you'd like to my father but remember this, I'll still be your Attending, Wheels. I can assign all the scut work to you and Motta over here if I wanted to. Bree is not getting any special treatment. Dr. Pierce asked to take her along because she is showing interest in neurosurgery not because she's more tolerable than you two complaining little brats. Any other stupid ass questions?"

Artie rolled away to a patient and Sugar followed. I checked my watch.

"I'm heading out!" I yelled towards Mercedes. A ding from my phone caught my attention.

 **From Kurt** : I heard you're staying at your place tonight. So I got you a small gift. It's in my car. It's unlocked. Just grab it and lock my car

 **To Kurt** : Do you always leave your car unlocked? That's reckless smh

I walked my way towards the parking garage.

 **From Brittany** : Why is Mercedes asking me to help you blow off some pent up energy?

I'm going to kill Mercedes.

 **To Brittany:** That's just Mercedes taking a joke too far. Ignore it pls

I got to Kurt's baby blue Toyota and opened the passenger door. On the seat laid a green little bag.

"Please be what I think it is," I thought out loud.

I grabbed the little bag and read the writing on it.

Crown Royal Regal Apple Whiskey. I'm going to kiss Kurt. I kissed the bottle and locked the door.

 **From Brittany** : Can I stop by real quick tonight? Didn't get to see you at all today.

 **From Brittany** : I sound so clingy omg

 **From Brittany** : nvm I asked. Just call me when you get home :)

I chuckled at the triple texts she sent. I sent out a quick "no problem" and headed on my way.

* * *

The apartment was bare. No furniture at all.

"I should've stayed with Brittany tonight until we moved everything in tomorrow." I sat on the dusty floor with a glass full of the Crown Royal. Half the bottle was already gone. I know I told Santiago I wouldn't drink for the rest of the week but this is a celebratory drink. There was a slight knock at my door. I stumbled over and looked through the peephole and saw Brittany standing there. I opened the door with a smile.

"Hello, Gorgeous."

"I just remembered you don't have any furniture here. So I bought you an air mattress, a blanket, and some pillows," Brittany said pointing to the two black bags next to her, "Have you been drinking?"

"Just a little," I said looking over to the lone bottle and cup of alcohol in the middle of the living room, "How did you find this place?"

"Santiago told me the address when I told him about bringing you stuff," She said dragging the bags inside. Brittany looked beautiful. She was wearing a black John Hopkins jogging suit with a bright yellow beanie.

"You look good," I said. She chuckled.

"You're drunk. I'm going for a run after this. I would ask if you want to join but…" Her eyes trailed down to the alcohol on the floor.

"I'm done for the night." I walked over to the stuff, picked it up and brought it to the kitchen.

"Where do you wanna set up the mattress?"

"The living room for now," I shouted from the kitchen.

"This place is huge!" I heard Brittany say. I tried my best to get myself together. I shook my body, trying to shake the alcohol out of my system.

"It's a 3 bed 3 bath. I don't know why Santos needed such a big place," I said. Brittany had the air pump on, pumping my mattress full of air.

"Have you eaten?" She asked. I shook my head 'no'.

"Santana, you're bad at this adult thing," She said turning the air pump off.

"The Army tells you when you eat, sleep, piss. I never really had to think for myself."

"Still.. you should know to eat when you're hungry." I just shrugged

"Wanna catch something to eat after we're done setting up?" I said, "Unless you want to still go for a jog?" Brittany smiled at me. She threw the blanket and the pillows onto the mattress.

"Of course I would love to eat you. EAT WITH YOU!" She quickly corrected herself. I chuckled.

"I have no problem with either," I said winking at her. She

"Come on. I got a surprise to show you." Her hand interlaced with mine and we walked out of the apartment.


	18. Chapter 18

"Is Santos moving away?" Brittany said looking at the car in the apartments parking garage.

"Yes. He's taking a permanent residency in New York and has no purpose for this car."

"It's beautiful."

"It's ugly." Brittany gasped and hugged the hood of the car.

"It's a 1974 Pontiac Firebird Trans Am. It's honestly my dream car," Brittany sighed dreamily, "My uncle had this similar car. Black as well. But he crashed it before I was ever able to drive it." Brittany peered through the window.

"You won't be able to see anything. These are like some high class tints he installed on this. Probably like zero percent tints." I pressed the unlock button. Brittany yanked the door open.

"It's in mint condition. Oh my God!" Brittany was fangirling.

"Didn't know you were so into cars."

"I'm not. I'm just really into this car," Brittany said, "I lost my virginity in the back seat of a 1978 Gold Edition Firebird."

"Damn, how am I supposed to top that?" I said sarcastically.

"Don't worry. It wasn't all that great," Brittany laughed.

"Oh my gosh. This is so cool," she continued.

"Still think it's an ugly car. Now a nice car would be a 1969 Dodge Charger."

"The Dukes Of Hazzard's car? Blegh."

"Okay okay. Here ya go," I said tossing her the keys.

"Are you joking? This has to be a joke," She squealed. I smiled.

"I don't want to be seen driving a car so ugly," I said. Brittany flipped me the bird. I got into the passenger side and leaned the seat all the way back.

"This is probably the best day of my life," She said. I just laid there, staring at Brittany. Never knew someone could look so attractive driving.

"Where too?" She asked speeding out of the parking garage.

"I think there's an iHop on Elida." She nodded. I started to doze off a bit. Before I could fall into a deep sleep, Brittany was planting kisses all over my face.

"This is a great way to be woken up," I said with a small smile.

"I thought so too," Brittany giggled, "We're here."

"Mhmm...pancakes," I said adjusting the seat to the upright position.

* * *

We were probably the only people, other than the staff in the restaurant.

"Hello, my name is Lolly. What can I get y'all to drink?" The waitress mumbled. I was gazing at the cars passing by outside.

"Santana?" Brittany said. I looked over at her and the waitress

"Drink? Yea. Black Coffee. Thank you," I ordered.

"I'll have a hot chocolate with extra extra marshmallows," Brittany said. I smiled.

"Be right back with your drinks and to take your orders," Lolly said walking around. My hands were folded on the table in front of me. I don't know why, but I felt uneasy. Brittany reached across the table and placed a hand on top of mine.

"Are you okay?"

"Yea… Guess I didn't realize how tired I was," I said interlacing our hands and kissing her knuckles.

"We could've went to my house. I could have thrown something together."

"Nah it's fine. I can stay awake. Tell me about your day," I replied, turning my attention to her.

"It was good. Spent some time in the OR with Quinn."

"Is Stephen okay?" I asked immediately. Brittany chuckled.

"Stephen isn't our only patient," She said, "Had to remove a brain tumor from a 9-year-old. She assisted."

"Hmmm."

"And we grabbed lunch together."

"What did y'all speak about over lunch?" I asked trying to not sound so nosy.

"We talked about our schooling and how I'm adjusting to this hospital. But most of the topic was about you," she said. I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not an interesting topic," I said.

"You are when you're current girlfriend and ex-girlfriend are having lunch together."

"What did you guys talk about? Me going to the army and coming back fucked up?" I said harshly. I snatched my hands away from Brittany. Before she could respond, Lolly came back with our drinks.

"Y'all ready to order?"

"I'll just have the strawberry banana french toast," Brittany said still staring at me.

"I'll just have two regular pancakes and some scrambled eggs," I said, looking everywhere but at Brittany. Lolly nodded and walked away.

"Santana." I ignored her and poured some sugar into my coffee.

"Santana, look at me," She said softly, taking my other hand into hers. I stayed quiet. She got out of her side of the booth and sat on my side.

"We talked about you. How smart you are and how we can't wait for you to do surgeries so we don't have to deal with Sebastian anymore. She told me what you were like as a high schooler and what you were like as head cheerleader. We talked about how great you are now and she told me how great you were then. We never once talked about your PTSD because that is not who you are," She said gently grabbing my face to look at her.

"I'm sorry," I said. Oh shit, the effects of the alcohol are coming. I felt tears well up in my eyes.

"Aw baby, don't cry," She said wiping the escaping tears away.

"I'm sorry," I whispered out. I placed my head on her shoulder. The tears were falling freely now.

"You were right when you said you get emotional when you drink."

I composed myself a little bit.

"When did I say that?"

"When you woke up in my bed wednesday morning," She said kissing my forehead. I wiped the last remaining tears away.

"Good thing I didn't drink a lot," I said. Brittany smiled.

* * *

"How do you expect to sleep tonight?" Brittany asked as I ordered another black coffee.

"Coffee is like water to me. I drink it to stay hydrated," I said quoting what my father told me a few weeks back. Brittany sat next to me the whole time. Her hand intertwined with mine.

"I wanna get some air before my coffee comes," I said unlocking the car.

"You sure you're not trying to run away from me," She said. I rolled my eyes.

"Wouldn't think of it." She gave me a quick kiss on the lips before letting me out the booth. I walked to the car and went straight for the glove compartment. I grabbed the box of cigarettes and the lighter hiding in there. I lit one and took a deep inhale. I peered through the window and looked at Brittany. She's so beautiful. The waitress came and placed down my cup of coffee. Brittany looked at the coffee and took a sip. Brittany grimaced.

"It's too strong, babe," I chuckled. I turned back and looked at the cars zooming by. I need to take Brittany on an actual date. Somewhere cool. I wonder if she'll want to stay with me tonight.

"Since when do you smoke cigarettes," Brittany said walking over to me.

"I started smoking cigs when I joined the army. Used to smoke cigars in high school," I told her.

"Like the godfather."

"Yea, like the godfather," I chuckled. She walked in front of me and wrapped her arms around my waste.

"Britt, I'm smoking," I said extending the arm with the cigarette out, away from her. She nuzzled into my neck.

"You're coffee's getting cold," She said, "You smell like smoke."

"I am smoking." Brittany grabbed the cigarettes from my stretched out arm.

"I used to smoke cigarettes," She said looking at cigarette, "But they're bad for you." She threw the cigarette down and crushed it.

"I don't smoke often," I tell her.

"Finish your coffee so we can go to sleep," She said.

"We?" I questioned as she pulled me back inside. I sat down and Brittany slid into the other side of the booth.

"Yeah, I gotta get home and make sure Lord Tubbington isn't eating ice cream on my bed."

"Oh…"

"Why? Did you want me to sleep over?"

"Well it's hella late and you're coming over tomorrow already so it-it makes sense," I said sipping some coffee. Brittany smiled.

"Can I tell you a secret?" I looked over at Brittany. She hid her smile behind her cup of orange juice.

"I had packed an overnight bag just in case you asked me to stay over," She said. I laughed.

"You really are a genius. What if I didn't asked? Would you have asked?" I questioned. She shook her head no.

"San, as much as I want to cling to you like a baby sloth on its mama, I also want you to I want to do things because you want not because you feel like you have to because I want too. Am I making sense?"

"Yeah, it does," I said, "I feel the same too."

"About which part?"

"The baby sloth part." We buckled over laughing.

\--LINE BREAK--

"Santana! Open the door! Let's get this move on!" Kurt screeched from outside the door. I groaned and reached over Brittany to grab my phone. 8:45am the clock read. Brittany starts moving around. Kurt starts banging a beat onto the door.

"Please get him to stop," I mumbled to Brittany. She chuckled.

"He's your best friend," She countered.

"Yeah but-" Brittany flung her pillow onto my face. I heard her feet walking across the floor and the door fly open.

"Britt! Hey! Wow, you guys had a sleepover and didn't invite me?" Kurt said. I groaned as I heard Kurt walking into the apartment.

"Kurt, can you please keep it down. San is still asleep. We were up late last night," Brittany said. I just laid on the air mattress.

"Yeah, yeah, this ain't going to work," Kurt said. I heard his heavy foot ass walk over to me. I prepared for him to hit me or even jump on me but instead he started fiddling with the air mattress. As fast as it was inflated, the air flew out of it. I jumped up.

"What the fuck, Kurt?" I yelled. He just smiled at me.

"I'm making breakfast," Kurt said walking over to Brittany. Brittany was just smiling.

"Unbelievable," I said marching into the bathroom.

-

I came out thirty minutes later. Fresh out of my pajamas and into my U.S army shirt and sweatpants.

"Oh so cute," Kurt said, "Reminds me of our basic training days." I rolled my eyes.

"Shut up, I'm starving," I said walking over to the kitchen. Kurt had brought a coffee machine and some plates, pots, and pans.

"Kurt are these…"

"My moms? Yea, they are. I'm not using them and neither is my dad so I know you could do them good," Kurt said. I looked at the pots and pans. I walked over to Kurt and embraced him.

"Thank you," I said into his ear. He just chuckled.

We pulled away from each other wiping tears from our eyes. Brittany walked back into the kitchen.

"Ooh what did I miss?" She asked.

"Just us being emotional over some pots and pans," Kurt said, "Lemme start making breakfast." I looked over at Brittany, who was wearing head-to-toe William McKinley High School apparel.

"How does she own more WMHS stuff than we do?" Kurt asked, handing me a cup of coffee.

"I do not know. I didn't even know they sold beanies," I said. Brittany laughed.

"When is everyone else coming?" She asked taking a sip of my coffee.

"Britt!"

"How do you drink that? It's not even sweet," She said taking the glass of orange juice from Kurt's hand.

"Everyone should've been here by now," Kurt said checking his phone.

"And who's everyone?" I asked.

"Your brothers, Mercedes, Blaine, Rachel, and Quinn and Finn," He said casually, "You're mom said she is also coming over around 4ish to cook."

"Hold up. Rewind," I started, "Who's coming?"

"Your brothers, Mercedes-"

"Skip to the end," I said.

"Ugh, I invited Quinn cause she's my friend and it just so happened that Finn was there and-"

Someone knocking on the front door interrupted Kurt's bullshit excuse. Brittany kissed me on the cheek before heading to get the door.

"Woah, are you the mascot for WMHS?" Quinn's voice rang out, "You look so cute, though."

"Very cute," I heard Finn's voice say.

"I already told Finn the second he says some slick shit, you're brothers and I will be kicking his ass out the door."

"Yeah yeah," I said handing my coffee mug to him for a refill. Brittany walked back to the kitchen with Quinn and Finn in tow.

"Good morning, guys," Finn said. I stayed quiet.

"Good morning, how are you?" Kurt asked them, placing my coffee in front of me. They gave their dull answers and now it was their turn to turn to me.

"This is a nice place, Santana," Finn said. I still didn't move my eyes from my cup.

"Do you like it?" He asked again. I rolled my eyes.

"San, please be nice," Brittany whispered into my ear. I turned to her. She gave me a quick kiss on the lips.

"It's nice. I like it," I clipped out.

"Hey San," Quinn said, "I bought some blackout curtains for your bedroom and some sheets too." She said placing the bags on the floor.

"I remembered how dark your bedroom used to be back in high school and figured you still liked it that way."

"Yeah, I do. I miss having that luxury," I chuckled, "I could sleep all day with those black out curtains."

"Some days in summer, if I wanted to hang out with Santana, I would have to go over to her house and just lay with her. All she liked doing was sleeping," Quinn reminisced. I gave Quinn a small smile. Finn cleared his throat. Just when I was almost done blocking him out.

"Kurt, what are you cooking?" He asked.

"Pancakes, eggs, bacon, and some sausage," Kurt said. I heard the door open and close.

"You guys really left the door unlocked," Santos' booking voice filled the whole apartment. I got up and jumped on him.

"Santi, you're lucky I'm such a strong guy or we both would've been hurt," He said. I got down, laughing at him.

"Huele bien aquí," He said "It smells good in here."

"Hey Santos," Brittany says going for a handshake.

"Britt, you're gonna learn that I don't do handshakes with people are basicall family," Santos said embracing Brittany in one of his famous bear hugs.

"Santos, you're going to kill her," I said attempting to pull him away. He let go but latched on to Quinn next.

"Quinnie! How are you?" He asked.

"I'm good, Santos. I can't really breathe though," She said. He let her go and looked over at Kurt.

"Santos, no. I'm cooking," Kurt said.

"Ugh whatever. Who's this?" He asked pointing to Finn.

"Finn Hudson, Ortho," he said going for a handshake.

"Okay. Nice to meet you. I'm Santos Rogelio Lopez, Nuero," he said shaking Finn's hand.

"Where's Santiago?" I asked.

"Downstairs with the truck. I bought some furniture I had put in storage. He's gonna be up soon."

Kurt handed us some plates and everyone who is known for drinking coffee, some coffee.

We stood around the kitchen island just talking. Soon Santiago, Mercedes, and Blaine joined us and Top Chef Hummel finished the food.

"Okay, but why are your names so similar?" Blaine asked.

"Yeah, I've been meaning to ask that," Brittany said. My brothers and I just smiled.

"It's a family thing," we said in unison.

"From our dads side," Santiago said.

"Our dads name is Angelo, our aunts name is Angelica, and our uncle's name is Angel," I said.

"What's your grandfather's name?" Quinn said.

"Julio."

"And you great aunts name?"

"Julia. I can keep going back," Santos said.

"So Santos was the person to truly determine what Santana and Santiago's names would be," Mercedes said. We all nodded.

"Okay, let's start this move," Kurt said.

"All we really gotta do is bring the stuff from the truck up and then grab the spare bed from our parents' house," Santos said. I grabbed my sweatshirt and threw it on. Everyone was already shuffling out the door and downstairs. Brittany was taking up all the dishes and putting them in the sink.

"You ready?" She asked me.

"As ready as I can be," I said grabbing her hand,

* * *

We finished moving all the heavy stuff up and by 'we', I mean my brothers, Blaine, Finn, and me. Kurt and the girls just directed us where to place things down. I was laying on the floor drenched with sweat as my mom prepared us a late lunch.

"Santana, it wasn't even that hard," Kurt said sitting down on the couch.

"Says the person who didn't lift a single item to carry up stairs," I huffed out. Finn had gone home to shower and Blaine had packed an extra pair of clothes to shower and then change into. My brothers were in the kitchen helping my mom cook and Quinn, Brittany, and Mercedes were organizing my bedroom.

"Shouldn't you be with Quinn and all them?" I asked Kurt.

"Just because I'm gay? Stop stereotyping me," He said. "Plus, I already told them I would organize the guest rooms when you order the stuff for them."

"I don't know if I want too," I said.

"Want to what? Buy stuff for the guest rooms?"

"Yeah because if there's beds and things in there then people are going to think they can sleepover," I said. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Okay, so when we have our sleepovers, we'll share a bed," Kurt said. I groaned.

"Isn't Satan a little old to be having sleep overs?" Mercedes asked.

"Santana's not old until she has her 40th," Santiago said.

"Hey, I'm 47 and I'm not old," Santos argued.

"You are old," I said, "And I don't want to think about my 40th yet."

"It's right around the corner, San," Santiago said.

"When is your birthday?" Brittany asked.

"October 31st," Quinn and I said in unison. Quinn smiled.

"Halloween? That explains a lot," Mercedes said.

"Whatever Weezy," I said flinging my drenched sweatshirt at her.

"Asshole," She said throwing the sweatshirt back at me.

"That's cool. You have any plans?" Brittany asked.

"Work most likely," I said, "I don't really do birthday parties."

"Well, you're dating the wrong person," Mercedes says, "Brittany loves parties."

"Santana just likes small things. Like a dinner or just a one-on-one type thing."

"What are you like a Santana-pedia?" Mercedes asked. Quinn rolled her eyes and folded her arms.

"I just know Santana," Quinn said. She's up to something.

"So you're birthday is in 3 weeks and you're plans are to work?" Blaine questioned, "That's not gonna work for me."

"Well, good thing it's my birthday and not yours," I said. I got up off the floor and headed towards my room.

"Santanita, la comida está casi lista," My mom said, "The food is almost ready. Go wash up."

"Mamá, no soy una niña pequeña. No tienes que decirme que vaya a lavarme."

"Santi, I know you're not a little girl but I'm still gonna tell you when you need to go wash up," My mom countered. Brittany just smiled at the interaction.

"Hurry up, San," Brittany said, "I'll save you a seat."


	19. Chapter 19

**a/n: I felt like not much happened in the last chapter and I kinda wanna finish this story in like 5-7 more chapters. expect longer chapters too.**

 **Also, thanks for all the comments on the last chapter. Lemme clear up the age ting.**

- **Santana is 39 boutta be 40.**

 **-Brittany is 29. Big age gap and that'll be discussed in this chapter.**

 **The beginning of this chapter is like therapy heavy.**

 **I dont want to write a bunch in the A/N but honestly … this is probably my favorite chapter I've written so far.**

 **Issa long chapters**

* * *

"It's been two weeks since I moved into my place. I can't sleep at night. I usually end up sitting in front of the glass sliding door, watching the snowfall onto the balcony."

My phone starts dinging.

 **From Britt:** 6 days xoxo

"Brittany has made it her personal mission to countdown to my birthday. I'm not mad about it, she's great. She is probably the best thing to happen to me since I came back but I don't think I've been the same to her. Lately, I've been like a hermit. Either stuck in my house, or in the ER, or in here. The closer my birthday gets, the less excited I feel. I just hope they don't try and throw me a surprise birthday party." Sue just sits there.

"What's making you feel all this anxiety, Santana?" She asked. I just shrugged.

"I don't know. I should feel happy that I have this freedom but I don't," I said. Sue just hummed.

"How's the case going?" Sue asked. I started to twist my fingers.

"Stephen is getting worse. Brittany noted that some of his brain has infected tissue and his left eye is completely fucked. His vision in his left eye is extremely impaired due to the infection a-and he has difficulty breathing and his coughing fits are just horrible. They're going to remove some of the damaged brain tissue but …"

"It's not looking good?" I shook my head 'no'.

"My dad wants to take me off the case but I don't feel like he should. Whatever happens I can handle it but he's just a kid. He's just 16 with his whole life ahead of him," I said, "He told me the other day how he wanted to become an engineer like his dad but he thinks he wants to go into medicine and become a surgeon like me." The tears were flowing freely now.

"How do we go about telling him that the medicine isn't working? That his dreams of becoming a doctor might not even come true? He's such a great kid and it fucking sucks that we aren't trying to help him the best we can!" I got up from the seat and started pacing.

"Smythe already sees him as a lost cause but fuck Sebastian. I've been looking through every medical book I can get my hands on. What's the best way to go about treating rhinocerebral mucormycosis? It's progressing rapidly and aggressively. It's only been a month or two that we've been treating him and the infection is a piece of fucking shit and not fucking going away." I kept clenching and unclenching my fists.

"Do you want to hit something?"

"No. I-I just want to do my job the best I can and keep this kid alive," I said sitting back down.

* * *

 **The Next Day**

I knocked on Brittany's office door.

"Come in," her muffled voice said. I walked in and placed a container on her desk. She had stacks of medical books around her and her face was buried into a medical journal.

"Consider this a small part of my apology," I said.

"Cat shaped cookies? What are you apologizing for exactly? Ignoring me for the past couple of days?" She snipped. I winced.

"I'm sorry, mi amor," I said pulling a chair up to her, "Please look at me." She put the medical journal down and turned to me. I took her hands into mine and kissed them.

"I didn't mean to ignore you, Britt. I've been so wrapped up in my head and in this case that I didn't notice I was being an ass towards you."

"Yeah, a big ass."

"Please let me make it up to you," I said, "I don't know if you have any plans on Halloween but I took this one off and I want to spend it with you. We can have dinner and we can do whatever you want."

"I just want to be with you, San. It's your birthday, I want to do whatever you want to do," She said kissing me. We rested our foreheads together.

"I just want to spend the day being with you," I mumbled, "I really am sorry."

"I know, San, I know," She said. _God, I really like you._

* * *

"So can we talk about your relationship with Brittany?" Sue asked flipping through her notes, "A few sessions ago we touched on how insecure you feel in this relationship. Care to elaborate?" I shifted in my seat.

"I-I don't really want to talk about it."

"Santana, we are so close to a breakthrough. If you'll just-"

"How does this help me with my PTSD?" I said, "How does talking about how dating someone helps me get over my night terrors? Help me get over the facts that when someone slams their locker a little too loud I flinch and duck? How does knowing that Brittany is younger than me help me with my PTSD? That she is extremely talented at such a young age and I'm 2 days away from 40 and what do I have to show for it? PTSD? A medical degree I haven't been able to use since coming back from Afghanistan? That's it!" I got out of my seat.

"Is her age a problem for this relationship? If she was older, let's say 34 or older, it wouldn't be?"

"Brittany isn't the problem. Yes, maybe her being a little older would make me feel less conscientious but I can't change that," I exhaled, "When I first started dating Quinn, we were in high school. Being with Quinn, it always felt like we were on the same wavelength, y'know? She knew me so well. It's almost an 11 year difference with Brittany and I. When I was 22, in the army getting ready to be shipped out to Afghanistan in a year or two, she was already in like high school at 11 years old. We've never been on the same wavelength and I don't think we ever will be. I'm not saying it's a bad thing. It's...It's new to me. Being with someone that doesn't know so well. Quinn was the person I thought I was going to come back and marry. My whole life, I only imagined Quinn. Never thought there could be someone else. So, with Brittany, I feel like I'm-I'm not … prepared to give her what she needs. I feel like I'm not the person for her. I might be a little bit too old to be on her wavelength."

"It's not Brittany's age that is causing insecurities but your own," She said scribbling something into her notebook.

"I guess so…"

* * *

I sat in my usual seat in the E.R. All my interns were off with doctors that could actually teach them surgical stuff. My mind was still reeling from the session I had with Sylvester yesterday.

"Hello birthday girl," Santiago said. I rolled my eyes.

"It's tomorrow," I said. I reached for a file.

"Yeah but since you're spending your first birthday back holed up in your apartment with your girlfriend, I thought I could celebrate with you a day early," Santiago said grabbing my hand and dragging me out of my seat.

"Santiago, please don't," I said, "You know how I am about my birthday." He just shrugged and continued to drag me down to my office. The lights were off.

"If there's any surprise shit in there, I'm going to flip, Santi,"

"You're going to like this," He said opening to door.

On my desk, there was a cupcake with a candle in it. Kurt, my mom, and even my dad was there.

"Happy Birthday to you," Santiago stated to sing.

"Happy birthday to you," Everyone joined in, "Happy birthday dear Santana."

"Diablaaa," Santiago sang out. I slapped him on the arm.

"Happy Birthday to youuuu," Everyone finished.

"Make a wish, mi corazón," My mom said holding out the cupcake to me. I closed my eyes and blew out the candle. I opened my eyes and Santiago turned the lights back ong.

"What did you wish for?" My mom asked.

"If I say what I wished for then it won't come true," I said.

"Birthday sex! Birthday sex!" Santiago sang. I slapped him in the back of his head.

"Dad!" Santiago whined.

"I didn't see anything," My dad said. He walked over to me.

"Happy birthday, hija," he said. He gave my shoulder a squeeze before walking out of my office. I just sighed.

"He does love you a lot Santana," Kurt said hugging me, "Have a fantastic birthday. I gotta run. Text me later. Love you." Next it was my mom's turn.

"Why can't you just bring Brittany over to the house and hang out with your mom as well."

"You know why mom," I said. She grabbed me into a bear hug.

"My baby girl is all grown up," She said tearfully.

"Mom, I've been all grown up for the past 22 years," I groaned.

"Yeah and no me estoy haciendo más joven. I'm at prime grandma age and yet I have no nietos," she complained.

"I know you're not getting younger and all but Mamí, go beg Santiago or Santos for grandkids," I whined.

"Pfft, Santos seems like he's never going to marry that Villanueva chica," My mom said, "And don't get me started on Santiago. He's my son and I love him but he's never going to get a girlfriend if he pines over the ones you have." I rolled my eyes.

"Santos' girlfriend's name is Jane, Mami," I said, "And Santiago will find someone. Soon-ish."

"Let's hope it's sooner than later," She said kissing my cheek, "Can you atleast stop by and help me hand out some of the candy for the trick-or-treaters?"

"I'll think about it," I groaned.

* * *

 **Halloween/Santana's birthday**

Brittany came over at the crack of dawn. I was passed out on the couch, hugging a bottle of Jack.

"Santana, the door was unlocked," She scolded walking over to me. I just groaned and rolled over, letting the bottle crash onto the floor. Brittany jumped back as the bottle broke and the alcohol splashed out.

"Fuck," I said.

"Santana, what the hell?" She said. I heard her place some bags on the ground.

"Britt, don't pick up the glass," I mumbled out.

"Why did you drink last night?"

I rolled back over on the couch so I could face Brittany.

"In celebration. I'm old."

Brittany was crouching down, picking up the big shards of glass.

"B, you're going to cut yourself. I'll pick it up later." Brittany ignored me.

"Britt, did you hear me?" I said. She continued to ignore me. She gathered up all the big pieces and walked to the kitchen to throw them away. I sat up.

"Don't get off the couch," She said from the kitchen, "There's still glass and you could cut your feet up."

She walked back over to the living room with the broom.

"If you're not going to listen to me, why should I listen to you?"

"Santana, I-I don't want to do this right now," her voice wavered. I immediately shot up off the couch. Even with the room spinning, I managed to make my way over to Brittany.

"Brittany, what's wrong?"

"Santana, the glass!"

"Brittany. What's wrong?" I repeated. She finally looked at me. Her eyes were red and brimming with unshed tears.

"My sponsor, from when I first started to get clean, o-overdosed last night," She said.

"Oh baby." I took the broom from her hand, tossed it aside and engulfed into a hug.

"Why didn't you come here last night, Britt?"

"San, I almost- I was so close to-" Her body shook as she cried out.

"Shhhhh, Britt." My heart broke at the sight of Brittany crying. I just sat there, holding her as she cried.

* * *

Brittany sat on the couch, catatonic. She cried for almost 3 hours straight. The alcohol from last night still floated around in my system, not as strong as before, but I needed to keep myself together for Brittany's sake.

I walked back to the living room with a bowl of cereal and some orange juice.

"Brittany please eat something," I begged. She just stared out to the balcony.

"I never thought I'll have that urge again." I wanted to say something. To react but the words got stuck in my throat.

"When I got the news, I felt...I felt like someone had pulled the rug from beneath me and I was falling. Christine was sober for almost 25 years. She was such an awesome woman and an even better sponsor." Brittany finally looked at me.

"25 years sober, Santana. 25 years and she ended up overdosing. I don't understand. I just saw her the other day and she seemed so happy. "

"Britt Baby, no matter how well we know someone, we can never truly know what's going on in their minds."

"Finding out the news brought me all the way back to being a scared 16-year-old again," Brittany said, "If she can relapse after being sober for 25 years, what's holding my sobriety together?" I kneeled in front of her and grabbed her hands

"Don't speak like that, Brittany. Look, I really don't know what to say but what I do know is you. You're not going to relapse. Not now. Not in 15 years. Not ever. What to know how I know that?" She nodded.

"Because I'm going to be right by your side," I started, "I wanna hold your hand, hug you until you feel safe, kiss those urges away. I want you to know that I'm here for you." Brittany's eyes were watering again.

"Santana," She sniffed, "I drove around the slums of Lima after hearing what Christine had done. I was so close but then my alarm on my phone went off. Your birthday alarm and I drove back to my house and just cried." The tears started to cascade down once more. My hands held the sides of her face and my thumbs gently wiped away her escaping tears. Brittany grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"I love being a doctor. I love Mckinley Hospital. I love being here," she spoke softly, "I knew if I had done anything last night, I could lose all of this. The thought of losing my job, my new home...you, broke me down." I kissed her forehead.

"Brittany, you could never lose me."

* * *

We ended up falling asleep on the couch and waking up around 6 in the evening .

"We slept most of your birthday away," Brittany said as we sat down around the kitchen island and drank some coffee.

"That's no problem," I said, sipping on my coffee, "What do you want to eat?"

"I really want some pizza," Brittany said. I grabbed my phone.

"No hay problema, mi corazon," I said dialing the number to Breadstix.

-

Brittany and I were sitting on the floor of my living room, eating some popcorn, while watching the first Saw movie. We had already devoured the extra large supreme pizza we ordered. We had a large blanket wrapped around us. I could feel Brittany's eyes go from the tv to me and then back to the tv.

"You have something to ask me?" I said after the 5th time I felt her gaze.

"I do."

"Go ahead and say it."

"I don't think I should. I don't want to scare you away," She said truthfully. I leaned over the popcorn bowl and gave her a quick kiss.

"Babe, nothing you can say will scare me away," I said. I sat back and popped some popcorn in my mouth. She opened her mouth but closed it again.

"Say it but only if you truly want too," I said.

"I-I just … I never felt this way for someone before," She said, "When people used to talk about wanting to find their soulmates I used to scoff not because I was cynical because I felt like we don't just have one soulmate. We have multiple, y'know?"

"I thought Quinn was mine," I muttered.

"Exactly but here we are," She exclaimed, "What I'm trying to get at is that for me, this feels right. This is it for me." I quirked my eyebrows.

"What do you mean? Are you proposing to me?" I joked. She smiled.

"No, not just yet." Brittany winked at me before getting serious again.

"This is it for me," She repeated again, "I feel this strong fucking pull towards you. Felt it the first time we met, Santana. What I'm trying to say is… I feel like you're it for me. My one and only soulmate." I just stared at her with a smile plastered on my face.

"It was too soon to say that right? God, I am an idiot," Brittany said covering her face with the blanket. I grabbed the blanket but she wouldn't let go.

"Brittany, from the moment I met you, I knew there was something about you. I felt that same pull. This has always felt so natural and comfortable. Like we've known each other for years" I said, "And the soulmate thing, trust me, you're it for me too." Brittany smashed her lips into mine. It wasn't sweet or soft. It was a messy, rough kiss that I had no problem reciprocating. Without disconnecting myself from Brittany, my hands wandered to the tv remote to stop the horrid screams that were coming from it. Brittany bit my bottom lip and a guttural moan ripped out of me.

"S-San, please," Brittany whimpered out as we grasped for air, "Touch me." Her lips started to attack my neck.

"How bad do you want it?" I moaned, "How bad do you wa-" Brittany straddled my hips and cut off the rest of my sentence with her lips.

"So bad," She said into my lips, "So fucking bad."

My hand crept up under her shirt. Brittany's breasts were hot under my fumbling hands, my fingers entwined tightly in her blonde locks. I kiss her ear lobe first, softly trailing my kisses down to her collarbone and back up to her lips. I pulled away to just look at Brittany. Admire her.

Brittany was shaking. Her lips, wet and kiss-bruised, hair tousled to the point where we didn't even need to have sex to get the perfect sex hair. She looked beautiful and the desperation in her eyes was captivating. I nipped and kissed at her neck, leaving red marks of various sizes there. She's going to kill me tomorrow morning. Brittany started fumbling with her belt.

"Fuck," She said "Can you give me a hand?" I smirked.

"Take my shirt off," I instructed. My steady hands replaced Brittany's on her belt. Her hands practically clawed at the bottom of my shirt. Her belt was thrown across the room. I started to kiss her neck again when I heard a ripping sound and then felt a gust of air hit my front. I giggled at Brittany's overeagerness. I pulled back so she could take off the ripped shirt from me. I pulled hers over her head without a second to think about it.

"So beautiful," I said laying her down on the blanket, "So so beautiful." I pinned both of her hands above her head with one hand and the other going straight to her breast. I kissed her breast, leaving marks on both. The hand that was on her breasts trailed down to her zipper. Brittany shimmied off her pants with my help.

"You're wearing too many clothes," She said as I released her hands.

"Let's fix that," I said standing up and stripping to my undergarments. Brittany knelt in front of me, planting wet kisses on my thighs. My hands flew to her hair as her kisses landed dangerously close to my panty line. I could feel Brittany marking my thighs with hickeys. Leaving them in places that only she can see from now on. Her hands settled at my waistband, tugging it down ever so slightly. She trailed kisses from my left hip to my right. How the roles were reversed was beyond me but I liked the change. Once my lower body was free from now-ruined panties, I felt extremely exposed. Brittany and her blue eyes, now darkened by lust, just looked at me.

"Wanna go to bed?" I asked. She got up and pulled me towards the bedroom.

I sat at the edge of the bed and watched as she stripped herself from her panties and bra. I unclipped my bra and threw it to the side as well. She stalked over to me and I just had to reach out and touch her abs. Brittany sat down next to me and I straddled her instantly. I know she could feel my wetness grinding into her stomach. She took her middle finger and did a quick swipe between my folds.

"All this because of me?" She said looking at her glistening fingers. I moaned out a quick 'yes'.

She adjusted us, so we were in the middle of the bed. Her lips latched onto my nipple and I threw my head back in pleasure.

"I wanna know how you taste," She moaned. She laid back and I made my way up her body until my knees were pressed into the mattress on both sides of Brittany's head. I could feel myself dripping onto Brittany's lips and chin. Her hands gripped my ass as her wet lips finally closed around my clit. My hands flew to the headboard at an alarming speed as a desperate moan ripped from my lips.

I felt myself drowning in the waves of pleasure Brittany's tongue was crashing into me. I looked down at her. Eyes closed but I could feel the concentration she had. I felt Brittany's tongue slip inside. It felt like it was going to split me apart. I started to grind into a face but her hands gripped my waist to keep me still.

"B-B-Bri-" I couldn't finish my sentence as my walls clenched tight, holding Brittany's tongue captive. I looked down as my orgasm ripped through my body and had me paralyzed. Brittany was looking back at me. Eyes still filled with lust. Brittany withdrew her tongue, immediately latching onto my clit. She sucked like this was her last meal.

"Oh, God! Oh, God! I'm gonna cum."

I held onto the headboard as if my life depended on it. She stole a second orgasm from me before I could give her one. I squeaked and my legs stiffen as the orgasm washed over me.

I rolled over to lay next to Brittany. Brittany's lips and cheeks were completely covered with my wetness. I could feel the heat in my cheeks. Brittany just laid there, dazed.

"You taste…you taste-"

"Alright?" I finished embarrassingly. She looked over at me.

"Like ice cold lemonade during a heat wave," she said, "Refreshing. Happy Birthday." I chuckled and started to wipe Brittany's cheeks clean. Brittany leaned in to kiss me but before our lips could connect, her phone and pager went off.

"Aw man. I'll be right back," She said, pecking me on the lips. She got out of bed and walked to get her phone in the kitchen.

"When you get back and when I regain feeling in my legs, it's your turn, Love!" I shouted out to her.

Brittany walked back into the room.

"That was the hospital, I got to go," Brittany said.

 _Aw fuck._


End file.
